Fear

 Today I am thankful for the gift of fear.

 

Michael said something today that made me frightened.  I'll do my best to explain. 

 

Um......

 

I saw a news report about electronic stalking.  It delved into the ways that stalker can use technology to stalk and harass their victims.

This is why I am leery of technology.  I've been followed in the past three years more than ever before.  It has happened quite a bit since 2012.  I blame my phones.  For this reason, I seem to change phones more than I change my bras. 

 

I gave him my car after I kept finding my former sister-in-law watching me in public.  A GPS box fell off of it in 2012.  My ex-husband pulled it off my car and threw it in a field.  I couldn't find it to take it to the cops. 

 

Michael swears that he didn't put it there. 

 

The day after the box fell off my car, his sister (Shannon) called to offer me a cell phone on her friends and family plan.  I had not spoken to her since 1999!!

 

My ex-husband wants to stay with me.  He wants to fix our relationship to we can get back together. 

 

I just want to fix the stalking and get my life back.

 

******

 

Well....just to document....

 

I caught Michael lying about his mother.  He used to call his mother to complain about the stalking.  He believed that she was behind it.  He used to tell me that his mother would ask him to visit her and help her.

 

Today he said that when he called her, she hung up on him. 

 

I've never heard that before.

 

The story changed.

 

Why? 

 

Secondly, when I pressed the issue of selling the house and moving out of state, he told me that his sister would never hurt me because he's never seen her hit anyone. 

 

She menaced my neighbor with a gun!

  

Her boyfriend grabbed me and pushed a little old lady!

 

She tried to break into my house!!! 

 

Why is Michael minimizing it? 

 

Ugh...

 

I have to get the house ready to sell, don't I.

 

Michael has to be a part of it. 

 

I want to believe him. 

 

Liars.....liars....they always get caught with the little lies. 

 

I never heard him say his mother hung up on him.  She wanted his attention.  She wouldn't do that. 

 

Damn it....

 

 

Here is a list of stalking behaviors.  I'll put an M next to the ones Michael has done and an S on the ones that Shannon has done.   I'll put a R by the things I've caught Michael's parents or other relatives doing.

 

I will also put an St by the ones Steve has engaged in.  Steve is not connected to the stalking but I thought this could be a good exercise is comparing both of those relationships.

 

The purpose of this exercise is to put things in perspective.  Sure, Steve was emotionally abusive but his behavior does not hold a candle to what I've dealt with from my ex and his family.  He only did 10 of the 41 things on this list.  I suspect Michael and his family of engaging in all of it.  I can't prove some of it.

 

It helps me know who to fear.  Some of my friends claim that Steve is creepy.  He's not near as bad as what I'm enduring from my ex-husband and his family. 

 

I need a real safety plan.  I think it is going to involve moving. 

 

I can't take it any more.  Things have gotten a tad bit too crazy. 

 

I think I need to stop being nice to people with issues.   I have to find a way to get away from it.  I can't wait for answers anymore.  I just have to leave.

 

Love ya,

 

S. 

 

 

1. Spying on you.  (S, M)
2. Following you.  (S)
3. Driving by your house, place of work, school or other locations where you’re likely to be. (S,R)
4. Tracing your whereabouts, activities and other relationships on Facebook, Twitter and other social media (S,St).
5. Hacking into your computer, email, Facebook accounts, etc. (i.e., electronic stalking). (S)
6. Creating a false identity to gain access to your Facebook/social media pages or enlisting a friend to do so. (St - his false identity is Steve Hensen [like the puppet master].  I have 12 men with that name currently blocked on Facebook.  I'd like to figure out how he can comment, block me, and then comment again without me seeing his page.  Maybe he has two? Weird...)
7. Stealing your post mail. (unknown- mail has gone missing)
8. Going through your trash. (S)
9. Breaking into your car, home or office. (S,M,R)
10. Seeking out your friends, family and colleagues to talk about you/get information about you. (S,R)
11. Searching for information about you by means other than asking you for it. (S,R)
12. Threatening to harm/kill him/herself. (M)
13. Threatening to harm/kill you. (S,R)
14. Threatening your job and your reputation. (S,R,M)
15. Threatening to/destroying your property or your loved one’s property. (M,S)
16. Sending you unwanted gifts. (S,R)
17. Verbally abusing you. (S,R,M,St)
18. Psychologically abusing you. (S,R,M,St)
19. Vandalizing your property or a loved one’s property. (S,M)
20. Threatening to divulge information that would be harmful to you. (S,R)
21. Holding you physically or blocking your egress to force you to speak with/listen to him/her. (S,M,R)
22. Taking you someplace against your will to force you to talk with him/her. (S)
23. Calling you repeatedly to discuss “the relationship” or showing up on your doorstep uninvited to discuss “the relationship.” (S,St)
24. Showing up uninvited to your home, school or place of work to see you. (S,M)
25. Invading your personal space by standing too close or brushing against you. (S,M,R)
26. Doing unrequested favors. (S,M,R)
27. Insisting that you “be friends.” (S,M)
28. Seeking physical proximity by applying for jobs where you work, joining your gym, church, professional/social/sports groups or clubs, moving into your neighborhood or building, etc. (S)
29. Manipulating/coercing you into dating or rekindling the relationship. (S,M)
30. Making exaggerated expressions of affection to you and your friends and family (e.g., saying , “I love you” within a few days/weeks of knowing you or after the break-up; doing unwanted favors, giving your friends and family gifts, etc.)  (M,St)
31. Telling stories about you to family, friends and loved ones to show how well (s)he knows you. (S,M,St)
32. “Befriending” your friends to get close to you. (S,St)
33. Enlisting your friends to intercede on her behalf to talk or be involved with her. (S)
34. Trying to destroy your other relationships—both platonic and intimate. (S,M)
35. Calling you repeatedly and hanging up.  (S,R)
36. Repeatedly texting/emailing/leaving voicemails. (St)
37. Sending photos of him/herself or of the two of you or posting photos of the two of you together on Facebook and other social networks. (unknown as I refuse to monitor their social networks)
38. Writing about you on social networks. (St)
39. Smearing and defaming you online to get your attention or to punish you. (St)
40. “Objectifying” you so that (s)he can abuse, attack, malign and hurt you without feeling empathy or remorse. (unknown - Michael, Shannon, & Steve malign me.....I do NOT know why people do that.  They may not do that in order to avoid empathy).
41. Leaving or sending threatening objects (e.g., marked up photos of you, photos taken without your knowledge, pornography, weapons, drugs, bizarre objects like an animal heart or soiled feminine hygiene product, etc.) (I did find bloody underwear on my back porch. I do not know who did that).

I don't think I have a choice.  I have to find a way to move.