Triggers

Today I am thankful for remembering triggers and having a place to share them.

Yes, there have been quite a few triggers for the stalking fear over the past few days.  There have been a few things going on that made me realize that my ex-husband is still being controlling.

Why am I taking stock of the stalking now?

Why am I isolating myself?

I never answered that.
First, the stalking always amps up when Michael talks about suicide.  He is talking about suicide.  I do NOT feel safe right now.  I'm not sure the kids are safe either.

Then....I saw something that made me concerned that Michael could be stalking Steve's family. 

It happened like this.

A woman, by the name of Larissa, somehow managed to make herself an administrator of one of the pages that I had created in order to garner support to recall our Congresswoman* while my internet service was out.  She unpublished my page and scheduled it for deletion.  The moment I found out, the page came back up and this woman was blocked. 

Michael used to be as heavily into politics as I.  I wanted to know if he knew who she was.  I had no clue.  Her profile picture featured a sneering dog.  I guess she wants me to think of her as a b!tch.  Oh, it is obvious she has never met me.  A real b!tch will get you to do what she wants and make you enjoy the experience.  She's an amateur if she has to sneak around to get what she wants. 

When I asked Michael if he knew Larissa, I watched him power up the computer and do a search on her.  Do you want to guess whose image came up first during the search?

I saw a page pop up featuring a picture of a man by the name of Lawrence holding a shiny tenor saxophone.  That would be Steve's dad. 

Of course, it made me nervous to see a picture of Steve's child underneath that.  I am torn between feeling livid and feeling scared.

You can rest assured I've got subliminals running constantly to make Michael sleep so he doesn't have time to Facebook stalk here.  Yes, he comes to the house.  He eats. He falls asleep immediately.  Don't worry.  He needs his beauty sleep.  He rarely sleeps more than four hours a day.  Now, he's getting eight. 

Maybe I should try something like.....you always tell the truth -and- police officers like hearing the truth.  Let me consider that.  I don't particularly trust the police officers in my town.  Their chief was corrupt as hell.  Any officer who did not do his bidding was illegally fined, harassed, and had their families watched and spotlighted.  As a stalking victim myself, the latter has me incredibly pissed off. 

I learned about this when I ran for the office of mayor.  Former cops would contact me and tell me their stories.  The Sheriff's office is much worse from what I understand.  I tried to follow up on the information given to me but I could never catch them in the act.

If I ever do find evidence of impropriety, I'm posting it online and sending the information to the local paper.  They'll deal with it.  They need the readership. So far, I have nothing except letters and emails from former employees. 

I have a thought.  It's a weird thought.  The stalking was always low level.  It was nuisance stalking until 2008.  That was the year Michael was fired by the bosses at the city for allegedly throwing me into a wall. That was the year I caught Michael sitting outside the building where I took drug and alcohol counseling classes.  That was also the year cop cars started sitting outside of the house on a daily basis.  I would learn in 2012 that they did that out of concern for me.  They will sit cop cars in front of the houses of abuse victims when cops need a place to park and do paperwork. 

It makes sense.  I didn't think I was a stalking victim in 2008.  I knew strange people would do strange things that I jokingly referred to as stalking.  I had, for many years, known that three different men in a white truck were following me.  I had these same three people approach me in a dark alley while I brandished a knife and acted the part of a crazy lady in order to scare them off.  All the time, they kept calling me Jerry Davis.  Jerry Davis is related to my ex-husband.  The problem, though, is that Jerry was an elderly, obese, and blind man.  I don't know if I was angry that they were threatening me -or- if I was upset they thought I was an obese old man. 

My aunt was with me during one of the stalking incidents.  I didn't notice them.  She did.  She would not let me drive home until I lost them.  After driving around in circles for an hour, I didn't see the truck in my rear view mirror.  I drove home and found these men sitting outside my house in their white truck.  This event was in the summer of 1995.  I brandished the knife at them in October of 1994. 

The last time I saw the men or the white truck was in 2001.  They were watching me from a parking lot that I visited during a trip to Boulder.  This is nowhere near my home.  I don't recall telling anyone I was visiting Boulder on that day.  Actually, I have a memory of emailing a retired professor and asking him if he wanted to meet for lunch.  Maybe they hacked my emails.  That could be how they know where I am.

Most of the time, these people were tall, overweight men with dark hair.  One of them is balding.

I'm documenting things as I remember them.  Man...there has been a lot of bullshit here. 

Could it be that Michael honed his stalking skills by watching his boss at the city?  Do I dare ask?  His job was to dig up old paperwork and try to catch business owners who owed the city money.  He can find anything.  When I needed to know how politicians got the money they did, he could find it.  He can find which politicians are not living in their districts; he can provide the address, when they arrive home, and that they have put the deed to their homes in the names of children or in the names of deceased relatives*.  The information Michael can uncover is amazing.

There could be a dark side to this talent.

I wonder....did politics and civics trigger this lust for "research"?  I call it research because I have been told that "stalkers do not stalk, they do research." 

Scary stuff....

I don't know.  I am grasping at straws hoping to find the magical potion necessary to understand the mess and put a stop to it. 

 

*****

Let me tell you something about Michael.  He is anonymous online.  He doesn't share his photo, his real name, nor do we have any friends in common on this account.  He does this, allegedly, to keep his family from me. 

Read that again....WE HAVE NO FACEBOOK FRIENDS IN COMMON on this account....NONE!

This is the account where his sister, cousins, aunts and uncles contact him.

I cannot figure out how Facebook would connect us and our friends list in order to thrust Lawrence's page in front of me during a search for Larrissa.

That bothers me.  It evokes memories of eating lunch and watching Shannon and Rhonda watch me.  My first memory of that is 1993, I was eating a salad at a Village Inn with Michael.  We were reconciling after breaking up due to him yelling at me for talking about the nasty phone messages his sister, mother, aunt and cousin left for me.

That would be the first time I noticed them watchin gme eat.  This is if you don't count Rhonda watching Thomas and I giggle over our poo-poo platters in the mid-eighties.  There were only a couple of restaurants within walking distance of our high school.  Thomas and Rhonda lived two blocks from each other.  I'm not sure that would be construed as stalking.  I usually bought Rhonda food, so that could be why she followed us.  I understand that more than I understand what is going on now.

Shannon and Rhonda watching me forty minutes from their perspective homes seems a bit bizarre.  It happened a lot.  I'm thinking that it started off with one of them listening in on a second line when Michael and I were little more than friends.  He'd call me from his home of origin.  His sister lived with him as she was only eighteen.  Now, they must be hacking something in order to find out where I am. 

I do not KNOW Shannon well at all.  She threatened a neighbor with a gun.  Her boyfriend grabbed me and pushed a little old lady.  I don't want them anywhere near people I associate with. 

This is also why I think Michael is involved.  This is why I want him out of the house.  This is why I want to be alone while I figure it out.

For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to put that out there. 

This is...well...for lack of a better world....CREEPY!

I WILL figure this out. 

Love ya,

S.

* We decided that we did not have to recall the Congresswoman.  She's doing a lot of damage to herself on her own.  In fact, she is the one who is not living in her district and has her house deeded to her son-in-law.  She has another house with the name of her deceased father on the deed.

Michael also found proof that this woman lied about the circumstances surrounding her father's death.  Other internet sleuths have uncovered a criminal past.  I'm a little jealous, this woman looks amazing in orange.  I didn't think anyone could pull off the orange jumpsuit look but she does....wow.

What triggered the research?  Well, this woman was on the news claiming to be threatened.  There was a big issue with her and her Democrat cohorts claiming to be threatened by Conservatives.  When one of them claimed a dear friend of mine threatened her, I got angry because I knew that hadn't happened.  I was there! 

This woman's cohorts went nuts in front of me threatening just about every voter in the room.  They were going to hold secret meetings (against the sunshine law).  These lawmakers said that they were going to pass unconstitutional laws and use taxpayer dollars supporting the court system while they decided if the laws were constitutional or not.  I could not believe my ears! 

I KNOW they have to take an oath to uphold the Constitution.  I had to tape the conservation because I could NOT possibly have heard it right. 

I had to grab my granny-cam out of my purse.  Never make me grab my granny-cam.  It exists for one purpose and one purpose only, to get video of my grandbaby.  If I have to waste my precious tape taking video of abusive politicians, I am ANGRY!

Yes, I heard it right.  One of the Democrats kept repeating the line about passing unconstitutional bills and letting the courts sort it out.  I caught it on the tape.  I don't think she's going to be re-elected. 

One day, the Congresswoman we were trying to recall claimed that she received a threatening email and called the press.  The interview took place in her house.  The neighborhood she was shown living in is mine.  She's basically my neighbor!!!  I do NOT live anywhere near her district.  I live about three blocks from the border of the city.  She lives on the other side of that border. 

I have visited the home she listed as her own during the campaign when I ran for office.  This explains why an Asian family lived there when I knocked on the door to the house that this congresswoman allegedly lived in. 

Michael hit a few keys and printed off a ton of proof that this woman lives in another city.  She lives in the house featured in the news video.  He can even prove when she moved in, when her daughter married the guy the house is deeded to, where the kids went to school, and all sorts of creepy stuff. 

Yep, he proved that she rents to two Asian men at that property she claims to be living in.  It is interesting what one can glean from phone records. 

This woman is incredibly lucky, the Secretary of State is protecting her.  He won't do anything.
I hope she sends him a fruit basket when he loses his bid for governor, especially considering he's a member of a rival party.  It IS weird that he is protecting her.  I wonder, privately, whether or not the Republican party has uncovered this information on their own but want to keep mum about it for some reason.  Maybe she's so hated and feared for her anti-Constitutional antics that they like having her in the house: I bet a lot of people donate money to the Republican party in the hopes of squashing this woman's socialist dreams. 

I don't know.  I just know that Michael and I have put it out there.  No one seems to care.  The members of our local recall group cannot be the only people who know about this. 

Okay...I've said enough. 

Maybe the best thing that can happen is that we freely talk about whether or not people like her can run for office outside of their districts.  Let's bring it out in the open. 

I hate things that are hidden.

If anyone else tries to delete that page, I will build a new one with all that information Michael uncovered.  I haven't done that because I do not like how the information was obtained.  I am trying to have scruples.  If a politician wants to play games, I'll play.

I wonder if Fox would like the documents? 

I've got bigger fish to fry right now.

I don't like being stalked.  I don't think this Congresswoman would be happy about it either.  I hope she comes clean about where she lives and runs for office in her own district.   Hell...if I get a job and she does that, I'll donate a hundred bucks to her campaign.