Today I am thankful that I'm getting to the bottom of this stalking business.
Okay, so yesterday I figured out the most likely reason Shannon is doing what she is doing.
Now, I am turning my attention to Michael.
I look at my life with him and I am realizing that his aim is to isolate us.
I'm heading off to a business meeting, so I'm going to make this short and sweet.
My time with other people is often interrupted (unless I was with Steve...he left me alone then).
The house is filthy and disgustingly so: I don't want to invite people over until he moves out. I don't want to be mean but there are some hygiene habits that could make our visitors sick.
He won't give me access to the money I was awarded in court.
He plays games with the telephones and vehicles.
When I was going to church, volunteering, or what not - he would usually rage in public or try to embarrass me so I never went back.
When all of those things do not dissuade me,
say I sneak around and buy a pre-paid cell phone, borrow money for a bus pass, take out student loans for classes and that kind of thing,
I will either find Michael or a member of his family watching me.
I think the goal is isolation.
If I can overcome that, I can break the cycle of stalking.
I am still working on ways to fix the Shannon issue.
There are some things I cannot write about.
I'm off to get ready to make some money. That will be my next blog post. I'm going to talk about negative people and how they destroy your ability to be creative.
Love ya,
S.
Edit some time later: I had a change of plan on the next blog post. I'm in a lot of pain. I have been for about six months. My best friend has pushed me faster than I could go and we are no longer friends.
Since he is pretty negative towards me because I cannot do what he expects me to do, I feel that dwelling on that would kill my propensity towards healing and becoming creative. Just now that the more negative we feel, the more we dwell on those things, and the less energy we have to do what we want to do.
That's it in a nutshell. I'm going to try to heal again and wonder how I got involved with someone that didn't really care for me enough to understand where I was coming from. I am also praying for forgiveness. I don't get involved with men who I don't believe I'll spend a lifetime with. I owe my God an apology for wasting time with this man and will ask for the gift of discernment in the future.
Cheers to you....