Today I am thankful for life lessons learned via computer (aka an alternate reality).
First, I have learned a lesson courtesy of a video game character from Portal. GLaDOS is an artificial life form based on an upload of human consciousness (known as Caroline) that some claim to have belonged to the protagonist's mother.
I think that GLaDOS is probably the best metaphor for my mother-in-law that I'm going to find anywhere.
So here goes.....
When people find themselves in a strange world, where they feel they are in danger, they are going to go into survival mode. They are going to ditch their social scripts and do anything they can to stay alive. They are not going to act in ways that honor the same social scripts they would utilize, say, if they were at a tea party. They are going to do whatever it takes to get out of the situation in tact.
Enter Chell -
She doesn't want to play the game. She wants her freedom. She wants to survive.
She walks into this world holding a different set of norms and values.
They believe that testing people to the is normal.
They believe that killing people gives meaning to their lives.
They believe that insulting them provides motivation.
They are happy in the dysfunctional world they created.
They are happy in the dysfunctional world they created.
In the view of the robots, this Chell person is a trouble maker.
They were happy killing people.
Chell meddled.
Chell is an interloper.
She got in the way of their way of life.
She had to go.
*****
This reminds me of my in-laws.
Actually, they are enmeshed with a hive-like mind. I would say they are more like The Borg.
Actually, they are enmeshed with a hive-like mind. I would say they are more like The Borg.
My ex-husband is telling me that they are stalking me to run me off. He claims they want unfettered access to this house, him and the children.
They want me to leave state with nothing.
Why?
Well......maybe I am an interloper.
They were fine telling people what to do.
They were fine stealing every one's time, energy, and money.
My mother-in-law was peachy keen with dictating who would do what and when.
Then Siegfred showed up
and told her ex, her brother and sister-in-laws the truth.
Yes, they can go to school.
Yes, they can hold jobs.
Yes, they can marry the person they choose to marry.
Yes, they are amazing, smart people who can do whatever the hell they choose to do.
Well....apparently.....they choose to harass and stalk Siegfried.
Think about it.
These people were happy with their lives.
They were happy living in their enmeshed tiny fishbowl.
Who was I to show them the stream? the river? the ocean?
In fact, I remember my sister-in-law chiding me for "caring too much" and demanding to know "who [I] thought [I] was to think [I] could succeed?"
Before I came along,
no one questioned their life in the tiny fishbowl,
no one held jobs,
no one took out student loans to go to school,
or moved out of the city to get away from the enmeshment.
Shannon was the first one in the newspaper.
That's not true.
I was but being a politician doesn't count.
She was in the paper for losing 300 pounds. That's a fair bit more impressive than fighting tax hikes and giving flowery speeches.
Have you ever tried to lose 20 pounds?
UGH!
I couldn't imagine doing that 150 times over.
She wins the test of who did the most impressive thing to get the paper.
So far....
You never know when my brother-in-law will overhear a child screaming inside a fire.
He wouldn't let a baby die.
These are good people.
They just don't know it yet.
*****
Now, I have to tell you.
I still don't understand all those emails and letters that my in-laws wrote to me telling me that I had to do what they said. They were never specific in what exactly they wanted until the moment they wanted it.
Typically, their demands were that I throw lavish parties for them, babysit for them, clean their homes, do yard work, or that kind of thing.
I was asked to clean the gutters and paint a house.....once.
I look at emails and I think to myself...
Why? I am NOT their Hebrew slave!!!
That could be the hive-mind mentality. Perhaps my role in their family was supposed to be caretaker and housekeeper.
I would up being the scapegoat.
Sigh.....
*****
Now, I have to tell you.
I still don't understand all those emails and letters that my in-laws wrote to me telling me that I had to do what they said. They were never specific in what exactly they wanted until the moment they wanted it.
Typically, their demands were that I throw lavish parties for them, babysit for them, clean their homes, do yard work, or that kind of thing.
I was asked to clean the gutters and paint a house.....once.
I look at emails and I think to myself...
Why? I am NOT their Hebrew slave!!!
That could be the hive-mind mentality. Perhaps my role in their family was supposed to be caretaker and housekeeper.
I would up being the scapegoat.
Sigh.....
*****
Not only do I learn from games, I learn from chat rooms. I spent the morning on a police officer forum.
Mike is my stalker.
He is feeding my fear to maintain control over the situation.
He is, somehow, recruiting members of his family to harass me.
I am in danger.
The safest thing for me to do could be to remarry him and never let him hear me talk about doing anything for myself again.
Or I could hide.
After corresponding with various cops, I know for a fact that it is him.
The worrisome aspects of this are the fact that he has
threatened to kill his mother repeatedly,
threatened suicide repeatedly,
is possessive and controlling,
flies into physically violent rages,
and claims he cannot be with anyone but me.
He is a loner.
He claims to have only had one sexual partner.
He claims that he has only dated two or three women in his entire life.
He has a history of mental illness due to a physical injury.
He also has a history of blocking me so I couldn't leave (his uncle and sister do that, too).
He likes to horde money that belongs to me so I cannot access it (this has happened during our marriage and subsequent divorce.
I need to curtail his access to me. I have to keep my guns out of the house so long as he is here.
I need to retain a lawyer.
I do NOT want to believe that Michael is capable of these things.
He has to be behind it.
He has done other things but I don't know if I should type it out.
It all boils down to motive. I don't see one for Shannon. I can't understand why Shannon would care enough to ruin my life.
Mike is the only one is motive: He wants to mend the relationship.
He is the only one with proximity and means.
I fear for any man that I date right now.
I have to figure this out. If Mike has a mental health issue, all he needs to do is get help.
It could put an end to this entire mess.
I don't want to involve any other human being until I figure out exactly what is going on.
*****
I was reading a story in the local paper. It chronicles a female stalker who pretends to be a victim. I think that the article was an apology to a celebrity doctor and a local news reporter. This woman would damage her own property and blame other people. Those two were some of her casualties.
The paper had inadvertently published some of her misinformation. It was used in a criminal case against the doctor. It ruined his life. He lost his job. He is facing jail time. It was bad.
The reporter was the doctor's girlfriend. She is no longer on the air.
The girlfriend would damage her car, call the herself numerous times a day using an online device that let her disguise herself as the doctor's phone number, and threaten to ruin the lives of the doctor and girlfriend.
They'd call the police. The police would refuse to take a report.
The trio live in the county where I live.
Guess what? The real victims were told that the DA would not prosecute stalking cases until it could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. This was the reason by the police officers for their refusal to take a report.
Where have I heard that before?
Yes, when I had Shannon's IP address, emails, testimony from a coworker, and her mother's threatening answering machine messages I was told that either too much time elapsed between events or that the DA would not prosecute unless it was a slam dunk case.
I have to move!
I am now finding myself wondering if all the harassment I endured at the city by Mike's former boss was a similar scenario. Could he have instigated it?
The ass. city attorney told me he was an abuser, before proceeding to read through a list of untrue vile slander in a public domain. I never understood why, should she have honestly thought him to be an abuser,
why would she have partaken in it?
Why slander me like that?
Why repeat those lies in a public forum as though they were the truth?
This is why I didn't believe the city attorney or their representatives.
They were just as bad as he is!
He's not a physical abuser. He may be a stalker and a greedy Gus. He's never hit me only the walls and things in my vicinity.
The moment he hits me.
It's black magick time.
I still wonder....everyone who has harassed me in the past 23 years was connected to him.
Hmmmmm.....
This is even weirder. He's home five hours early. He just arrived.
I wonder why?
I don't want to involve any other human being until I figure out exactly what is going on.
*****
I was reading a story in the local paper. It chronicles a female stalker who pretends to be a victim. I think that the article was an apology to a celebrity doctor and a local news reporter. This woman would damage her own property and blame other people. Those two were some of her casualties.
The paper had inadvertently published some of her misinformation. It was used in a criminal case against the doctor. It ruined his life. He lost his job. He is facing jail time. It was bad.
The reporter was the doctor's girlfriend. She is no longer on the air.
The girlfriend would damage her car, call the herself numerous times a day using an online device that let her disguise herself as the doctor's phone number, and threaten to ruin the lives of the doctor and girlfriend.
They'd call the police. The police would refuse to take a report.
The trio live in the county where I live.
Guess what? The real victims were told that the DA would not prosecute stalking cases until it could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. This was the reason by the police officers for their refusal to take a report.
Where have I heard that before?
Yes, when I had Shannon's IP address, emails, testimony from a coworker, and her mother's threatening answering machine messages I was told that either too much time elapsed between events or that the DA would not prosecute unless it was a slam dunk case.
I have to move!
I am now finding myself wondering if all the harassment I endured at the city by Mike's former boss was a similar scenario. Could he have instigated it?
The ass. city attorney told me he was an abuser, before proceeding to read through a list of untrue vile slander in a public domain. I never understood why, should she have honestly thought him to be an abuser,
why would she have partaken in it?
Why slander me like that?
Why repeat those lies in a public forum as though they were the truth?
This is why I didn't believe the city attorney or their representatives.
They were just as bad as he is!
He's not a physical abuser. He may be a stalker and a greedy Gus. He's never hit me only the walls and things in my vicinity.
The moment he hits me.
It's black magick time.
I still wonder....everyone who has harassed me in the past 23 years was connected to him.
Hmmmmm.....
This is even weirder. He's home five hours early. He just arrived.
I wonder why?
Love ya,
S.