Life without Distractions and Dirty Games

Today I am thankful for having less distractions and man games to contend with.

It's interesting what I can actually get accomplished when I don't have to second guess myself all the time.

I turned my cell phone off.

I refuse to listen to any messages that are not from clients.

Life is good.

I am really getting a lot of things done.

I am not sitting around sulking or worrying or planning around visits with a certain man.
I am not budgeting for dates or worrying about whether or not I can volunteer over the weekend.

I am no longer worried about being stalked because I really don't have a boyfriend. I am not sure I can stand him. I feel constantly attacked and criticized. I can't deal with that. I know he is trying to help -but- I've got to help myself first.

I really do not know if it is appropriate to respond to a text from a man telling me that I cannot meet my own needs.

Oh....gawd....

uh....

dude....

um.....

I won't go there.

He was angry that I did not see him on Friday night. I was working on an exit plan. I've made progress. I am happy about that. This man and I had no concrete plans to see each other. I wanted to fix my mess.

He appears to need me to see him every Friday. I cannot meet that need and I told him so.

Then, he responded that I couldn't meet my own needs.

Okay....sure....whatever.....

Life is good.

I think I'll keep mum on the new developments for now. I am incredibly excited about them.

I do have clarity on the stalking situation now. It is my ex-husband. I just have to stay in the shadows and away from other men until he moves out.

It's all good.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S. P.S. There will be a new website.

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