Today I am thankful for flashes of insight from other activists.
I figured it out....
My estranged spouse is behind the stalking. He is behind 99.9% of it. He's engaged in it a few times but usually, the scary stuff, reveals his sister.
But, the person doing most of it is Shannon Marie.
I'm putting that out there just in case it gets worse. It usually happens between late October and Mid-January. I think his family gets together during the holidays and his mother bitches so much so that people try to take action.
I finally understand how this is happening.
My ex must whine to someone in his family so that they take action.
His sister takes the initiative to, as she states it, 'teach me to stay in my place'.
Once a neighbor complained about my fat sister pulling a gun on him while stating that I had him under surveillance.
I don't have a fat sister.
Shannon is fat.
Shannon is my sister-in-law. Shannon had a gun at the time. She also had keys to my house.
What made me connect the dots was something a women's rights organization stated today about Catholic people referring to women who have abortions as "Satan".
My Jack Catholic in-laws think that I should be barefoot and pregnant.
If I buy shoes, even if they only cost $2 a pair, they get angry at me.
Jack Catholics are Catholics who don't tithe, don't read the Bible, never go to church and break as many of the ten commandments that they can get away with. Jack Catholics are those that are only religious when it benefits them in some manner, like getting their daughter-in-law to defer to them in order to follow Timothy's 'honor thy parents and grandparents' teaching. On the flip side, they don't believe in the 'leave and cleave' Genesis thing.
If I go a long period of time without a pregnancy, for any reason, they get angry and accuse me of having abortions. This includes the fact that morbid obesity on the part of a guy can make it impossible to copulate. I guess I'm supposed to artificially inseminate myself or something.
Oh, goodness......
I literally have a recorded answering machine message where his mother claims I am killing her grandchildren and threatening to beat up friends of mine from high school if I don't call her back to explain myself. This is actually a valid threat as I went to high school with my sister-in-law's cousin. His cousin, Rhonda, has called my house claiming that my in-laws tried to beat her up because I wouldn't talk to his mother.
I did have one miscarriage, on Valentine's Day back in 2002. I ventured into the basement a few weeks earlier and had a little too much wine. His mother spread a bunch of lies about me a few years before on Thanksgiving and he blamed me. We've spent most of our marriage apart since '00. Trying to leave the guy is another matter, he'll threaten suicide, or threaten to murder his mother, or get violent. It's just easier to stay until he gets arrested or finds a chick willing to steal him from me.
I can deal with it.
I was very sick in early 2002. I had gotten into a horrible head-on car crash. My knees were damaged. My hips out of joint, my feet were damaged so much so that they are now different sizes. I was a size 9. I now have one foot that is a size 9.5 and another a size 9.75 due to the damage to the bones of my feet. I also lost 1/2" of height due to the damage to my spine.
I was in pain and was probably taking far too many drugs to support any kind of pregnancy. One of the drugs was known to cause heart problems.
I also have an extremely rare blood type and pregnancy can be weird with me. It is hard for me to mate with people who do not share a negative blood type. Miscarriages can cause me to become sterile. So, I had to run off to the ob-gyn at the first sign of trouble.
I did. I came home in tears.
He wasn't with me at the doctor's office. He claimed that he couldn't miss work. He must've told his mother because I got a threatening phone message from her upon returning home.
This was when the Satan crap started happening. I have been approached in public by various people who refer to me as 'Satan', then they go to colleagues and spread gossip about me being a bad wife while asking for personal information about me.
This has been going on for well over a decade. When it happened in graduate school, my professor claimed that a man did it. If you ever see Shannon, you could easily mistake her for a man. That professor died in '04, so I can't ask him for his help identifying the stalker anymore.
Now, Shannon says that she is the family matriarch and that she owns the rest of us and must keep us in line. She has actually called here claiming that I married her.
Not in my wildest same sex orgy fantasy will she even ever be a lover!
Yeah, she's yelled at me for not buying her and her relatives houses.
She believes that she is the family matriarch, so she thinks she is supposed to control everyone in the family.
The thing that got me to thinking about the stalking was a phone call she made to me earlier this year. She claimed that all she pays for all the my in-laws cell phones on her T-mobile family plan, so when any of my in-laws come the caller ID will read her initial and last name. Her first initial and last name are the same as mine, so when she calls the kids think it is me. With what I've recently learned about GPS stalking on T-mobile family plans, I'm realizing that she must be the stalker.
I'm just not so sure that I'm the only target. The other sister-in-law has one of her phones.
This also suggests that she's the only person I know with the inclination to stalk and get into every body's business.
This chick must seriously be NPD.
I'm beginning to see where the obsession is coming from.
I wish I had time to write about all the other stalking (at school and work). I wish I had time to day to write about her phone calls telling me that I cannot 'outperform' her because she is the only woman allowed to succeed in that family. She claims that my success ruins hers.
And, I used to get yelled at for not eating 2500 calories a day by her and her brother. I was once a model. We can't get away with anything over 1,200.
I wish I could tell you about the cease and desist letters and her frequent phone calls and letters after that.
One thing is true, Shannon is afraid of politicians and other authority figures. She left me alone when I ran for office, so I'm thinking that maybe I need to repeat said experience for my own safety.
Yes, police officers were always around me, even if they were a bit creepy about it. Yet when police officers track you, you know who they are. They don't sneak around like my in-laws do. They sit outside your house in their cop cars. They wear their uniforms when hanging out in your garage. They try to use their power to intimidate and harass you.
My in-laws and ex are scarier because they hide in the shadows.
Today, I think I figured out what is going on.
I am terrified.
Her brother best put an end to it immediately or he won't have any money left over to support his ailing mommy once I ask for alimony.
If his sister won't leave me alone long enough to hold a job, I'm taking 40% his income. If she apologizes now and tells me the name of the last person she convinced to approach me in public and harass me, I'll sign a post-nup freeing her brother of the imposition.
And, if she truly believes I'm an evil Djinn master, I'll show her the beauty of an Ifrit. I'd urge her to Google my telephone number, too. The entire string of numbers was chosen because it is a call to an ancient Islamic Marid. I'd tell her what book to find that enchantment in but I don't want to make it too easy on her.
Do you know how easy it is to cast a weight gain spell? It's seriously easy. All I have to do is [retracted] during the [redracted] and pay for pizza to be delivered on her doorstep.
Just teasing....I'd rather send the pizza to the homeless shelter.
Does my sister-in-law want to play a game?
How many of her lies does she truly believe?
Let's see......
Shannon has until New Year's Day.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. I've just been informed that I have $90 to feed the children and cover household expenses this week. I'd get more if I divorced and sued for child support. Every week, I get some pitiful amount of money for groceries.
I can't do this anymore.
P.S.S. I tried to talk to my ex to find out exactly what motive his sister would have to stalk me. I don't know. He says it is to force me to talk to them. He says it is to get to him.
I just know that this whole thing is weird. I'm really terrified. He's controlling. They're weird.
This is making me paranoid.
I want to hold a job. I have NOT had the experience of holding a job or going to school without being harassed by my in-laws since I was twenty years old. They've harassed my co-workers at every job I've held since 1991. This realization scares me.
I shouldn't be anxious over it. I've been self-medicating. My PTSD doc is on vacation and when he returns I don't know where the bus fare to see him is going to come from.
I guess I'll just have to start selling my recordings online again so I can buy groceries and see my doc.
Maybe if I get a new identity for myself....
Could that work?
If I take on another name, could my in-laws harass me anymore?
Hmmmmm......
Help?
I know once I break the control and hide from the stalker, it will all be okay. They are probably just acting out because their father has stage four cancer.
I just need a new plan of action. Once I have that, everything will be kosher.
All I need is a good plan.
If I wind up dead, I want people to know who I am afraid of.