Today I am thankful that I am not afraid to work.
I ran around this afternoon trying to get the title of my old mini-van to my ex.
He needs to sell it to pay his rent. I put it in a manila envelope and taped it to my front door this morning. Then I texted him to let him know he could pick it up and then I went about my day.
I saw a hypnosis client.
I flirted with a hot job coach.
I talked politics with another political activist. We have similar goals and I want to get a small army together. There is power in numbers. The nice thing about armies is that there is always someone else willing to be the face of the army. I prefer the grunt work. Building websites is more fun than giving interviews.
I've met some great reporters though, so it's not too bad.
I worked on my resume.
When I came home, the envelope with the title was still here.
I lost my new phone somewhere in the shuffle. It's probably in my office. I haven't had time to get back down there to pick it up.
My intention was to go back to my office after feeding the girls dinner to grab my phone.
Michael wanted me to drive to meet him at the store at 8:00 p.m. so he wouldn't have to walk to the house from the bus stop. It's about a ten minute walk.
My intention was to be at my office at 8:00 p.m. so I could return calls. I typically return calls at 10:00 a.m. or 8:00 p.m.
That didn't happen.
My kitchen sink sprung a leak.
So, my daughter and I went to the hardware store.
I flirted with a cute older guy and got the supplies - only to come home to find an email from my ex demanding that I meet him at the store either at 8:00 p.m. or 10:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Neither of these times work for me.
He sent me an angry email telling me that he was trying to accommodate my needs and that it would only take me 30 seconds to get the document to him.
No, it would only take 30 seconds for me to address an envelope, stamp it and stick it in the mailbox.
He didn't want to do that. He claims he doesn't get his mail.
He's not accommodating me. I'm accommodating him. This has become an ordeal in and of itself. It takes hours to hunt down documents he "forgot." I usually find them in bizarre places (e.g. in a pile of documents on a forgotten bookshelf or behind filing cabinets).
The tone of his letter bothered me. He doesn't understand that even though I lost my job, I still work. Looking for a job is a job in and of itself. I don't have time to drop everything and cater to him.
I just wanted it to be over. Angrily, I emailed him and told him that I'd drive to his apartment and hand it to him myself just to end this ordeal.
As I went to leave, a firetruck pulled across the driveway.
One of the neighbors was sick. It was the little boy who is soon to be homeless due to the City of Aurora's stupid neighborhood restrictions on unrelated household members.
I've already taken in one homeless child. I can't take in another or I will be in violation of the city's rules. Yes, I am considering taking a stab at a council seat although I'd probably be more effective on a commission somewhere.
While staying out of the way of the paramedics, I emailed my ex-husband and told him I couldn't leave.
I waited for the paramedics and firefighters to leave. They were very efficient. They were in and out within 20 minutes or so.
My ex said he'd be at the bus stop at 6:00.
I made it there by 5:55.
I stood waiting in the wind for several minutes.
He didn't get off the bus.
I waited about twenty minutes before I thought that maybe he'd gotten off at a different stop and walked to the house.
I drove home so I wouldn't keep him waiting in the chilling wind on the porch.
He wasn't there.
He texted my daughter angrily because he just arrived at the bus stop.....
30 minutes late!
He was pissed off that I wasn't there waiting for him!
I forgot how frustrating it was for me to try to read this guy's mind to keep him happy.
Damned if I do......
Damned if I don't.
I'd rather not.
As I left to bring the document to my ex, my neighbor who runs a call center ran up to the car and offered me the opportunity to interview for a job. I mentioned that Michael was recently fired and doesn't have enough money to pay his rent. I told him that Michael's last job was in a call center so he told me to tell Michael, too.
The neighbor told me that he wanted me because I know a lot of people and will bring business to him. I used to train call center agents. I can't work with Michael. He can only hire one of us.
I drove to the grocery store. Michael was there. He was angry because I had the audacity to keep him waiting.
Thirty seconds my ass....this had become a three hour ordeal for me!!
I told him about the job. It pays $3 an hour more than the call center job my ex was just fired from.
He refused to hear about it.
He said he didn't want to do phone work. He doesn't have other jobs on the table. He needs money to pay the rent.
No, I cannot give him a place to stay.
I told him that I had no choice to work being the only one who supported the kids. I had to take any job I could get.
He told me that's okay. He's never going to pay his court ordered child support. I have to do what I need to do.
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I guess that is the difference. Some people understand the need for work. We understand that working is important if we want to maintain our credit and keep our family sheltered, clothed and fed.
Sometimes that means selling knives for commission at the grocery store. I've already turned down two insurance sales jobs (hourly plus commission) because I have a month long jury duty service in June. One of the employers told me to get in touch with him in July.
Sigh......
I guess I'll never understand my ex-husband.
He's lazy.
Now, eventually......I had to make a couple of trips to the hardware store and flirt with the cute guy. Michael took the tools, so I needed to buy a plumbing wrench.
The right tool made all the difference in the world. I got a new mat for the front door and some LED light bulbs so I don't have to change them so much.
I didn't buy tomato plants....not yet.....
we had snow last week.
I'm waiting a little bit.
I think I enjoy hardware stores a tad bit too much.
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We finally made it home around 8:00 p.m..
My daughter went to work under the sink.
The sink works like a charm now. There are no leaks.
I think my daughter has a bright future ahead of her as a plumber!
Before she wakes up, I think I'm going to install a prettier soap dispenser and pump. The one that came with the house is really decrepit.
I'm loving YouTube. Is there anything it can't teach us?
We can do anything if we are just willing to roll up our sleeves and buy the right tools.
Love ya,
S.
NEXT DAY EDIT: After a night of trouble sleeping, I decided that I am going to have my ex's demanding emails forwarded to a folder in my in-box that I never look at. I'm only going to allow him to contact me via text message in regard to the kids.
I'm not his gopher. I'm not his secretary. I'm certainly not his job coach. If he doesn't want to give me a valid mail address, I can't mail anything to him.
I'm not his mother. If he expects to live here, that can't happen.
I certainly will never again give him a vehicle or pay for his auto insurance.
He is an adult. He can do stuff for himself, even if it is to go to the DMV and get a copy of a title he threw behind a filing cabinet in the basement.
The past two days have been crazy. Never again am I going to drive around in circles to do favors for this guy or tear my house apart looking for his misplaced documents.
I have too much work to do.