Today I am thankful that I changed up my Friday ritual a bit.
I grew up in several Mormon households. In that religion, there is something to do every day.
Sunday, we went to church.
Monday - we stayed with our family.
Tuesday - the men would go to church.
Wednesday - the kids would go to church (or boy/girl scout meetings).
Thursday - the women would go to church
Friday - I don't remember Friday - all I remember is that Grandma always made fish. She wasn't Catholic.
Saturday - there was usually a community event.
Paganism is similar in that there are different rituals for different days.
This is my tradition.
Monday - light a silver candle for a moon Goddess
Tuesday - light a red candle for a God of war
Wednesday - light a blue candle for a God of communication
Thursday - light a green candle for a God or Goddess of abundance
Friday - light a pink candle for a God or Goddess of Love
Saturday - light a purple candle for a Deity of protection
Sunday - Light a gold candle to a God of the Sun
Yes, my house smells like a candle store. If you study Jung, you will understand that the Gods represent human archetypes and the mythos that makes up our collective unconscious.
I guess I worship my occupation on some sick level.
Friday is the hardest day because....well....I tend to set roses out for Aphrodite, Strawberries out for Eros and grapes out for Dionysus. An alternative is to give money to charities that promote something these Deities would approve of (e.g. helping people heal or build their confidence (Aphrodite/Eros) or supporting the arts (Dionysus).
The Friday meditations are always intense. I usually fall asleep and awaken after having disturbing dreams.
Yesterday, I still set out the roses.
I'm used to the smell. I think it helps me meditate.
But, this time, I lit a white candle to Isis and Osiris and made an offering of very expensive bread (that will be broken down and fed to the birds when I go up into the mountains).
I got dizzy and fell asleep.
The reason for this change is that I've been doing cord cutting exercises to try to keep from getting drawn into other people's drama and energy.
There is a golden cord that won't cut. It's in my fourth chakra. I have no clue what it is or where it comes from.
I think it's new. I've never really dreamt that one before.
I wanted to know why I'm experiencing this.
Is it supposed to represent universal love?
What in the world is this?
While sleeping, I did have strange dreams.
I saw places in my mind that I am familiar with. I saw my home town.
I saw children I've never met.
I awoke this morning and my body felt like it was on fire, not a bad feeling or anything.....
just a weird feeling.....
like I'd burn up if I didn't get out of bed and take action now.
I think I'm supposed to go to the places in my mind to figure out what it is that energy represents.
Two very strange things happened.
First, my hypnosis client cancelled, freeing up my entire day.
Secondly, the little ten hour tea light is still burning fourteen hours later. In fact, the little wick was all that was left of the candle four hours ago.
It's still burning.
I don't know what to do with it.
This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands.
I feel.
I don't want to feel.
Tomorrow, I may just light a candle and beg for a job so I can use up some of my free time.
What do you want a bet that I'll wind up working with children?
May you find all the answers to the mysteries of your life easily and effortlessly.
Love ya,
S.
Edit later the same day:
I followed my intuition.
I drove home.
I found myself in the midst of a four hour chat with a childhood friend.
He was having a bad time.
He is a first responder who couldn't prevent the death of a young man from suicide and he needed to talk.
The death was quite some time ago but the young man's face still haunts him.
My old friend is in town for a funeral.
He needed reminded that his life is worthwhile.
If there is ever a time to feel love for someone - it is in a time of crisis.
He wants to run for City Council (in another state).
He'd be damn good, too.
He used to protect me from bullies back in high school.
He'd walk me away from the drama.
When I was being abused at home, he carved a little wooden angel for me. I still have it. I bring her out at Christmas.
I cry when I see her. I remember that she was meant to watch over me.
He was the neighbor boy.
He grew up to be a war hero.
That sounds like the background of a first responder, doesn't it? Always protecting people and serving others.
He's a good man. He has a good family.
He married a redhead with flaming hair.
He loves his wife deeply.
He is a hero firefighter in his local community.
He is now an empty nester who is feeling that loss.
Today he is feeling guilty for a suicide he could not prevent.
I'm thinking that is why I couldn't cut the golden cord of universal love energy over the past couple of days.
He needed it.
Maybe some things are meant to be felt.
I'll ponder this and visualize sending some of beautiful energy to my old friend.
I think we pray to the same God, we just call him by different names. I can change it up without offending my God in any way. When praying for others, I will use their language.
That's strange.....silent tears are still flowing down my face...I can't stop them. I don't feel them until they've hit my cheek.
I look to the right of my computer screen and saw that he just sent me an IM.
Maybe we are all connected in some beautiful cosmic way.
I pray he finds whatever he needs to remind himself of his value.
Please focus on the positive things you do and your wins, it will help you keep your losses in perspective.
I'll listen to my intuition more.
Love ya,
S.