Today I am thankful that I know better.....
yet I still feel ex-guilt.
It may be a bit of anger, too.
My ex-husband isn't paying support or seeing the kids.
He's not working, so he can't.
He was working. He didn't pay then either.
He was recently fired again.
I get it.
Life can be tough.
A few weeks ago, a judge gave him two hours to collect his stuff from the garage. He emailed me the day before telling me that he wanted the television, so I gave it to him.
He told our youngest daughter I'd buy another television by Easter.
With what money?
I have to work two jobs and I still don't come close to what he made.
Right now, I'm down to one. It's a self-employment contract position. I have expenses to pay before I break even.
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It gets worse.,,,
He wanted to take the kids to the movies last weekend but did not arrange it with me.
He emailed one of the kids.
I sent him an email asking him to let me know what was going on so I could plan my weekend accordingly. He's asking me to transport them, so I need to know when to meet with clients and make what money I can.
He decided not to visit with them.
He had some grievances.
First, he's upset that the kids don't answer their texts right away. The kids say they can't read his texts and always get error messages.
We have old phones. I buy cheap service and sometimes it takes awhile for the texts to come through. If I had more money, I'd upgrade.
It could be that I didn't set the phones up correctly to receive his texts. He's more than welcome to fix it.
He didn't want to do that.
He contacted the youngest on Facebook and told her that he had no money so he had to borrow money from his roommate to go to the movies.
I feel as though I'm expected to give him money to take the kids to the movies.
If I do that, where will it end?
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Since he's left, we've been to court twice. He only showed up once.
He was complaining that he had to leave my house and live in a hovel with bedbugs.
Then he lost his job.
I fear he's going to ask to live here.
I can't even let him into the house for fear he will never leave.
That happened once. I can't let it happen again.
It's very hard and expensive to evict him.
In my conscious mind, I know that my responsibilities towards my ex-husband ended the day we signed the divorce agreement.
It should have ended the day he left me (the first time) but, in reality, it ended the day we signed the separation agreement and the court approved it.
That was nearly four years ago now.
This is a little frustrating.
I'm realizing that if I don't give him money, he will continue to complain to the kids. I don't want them to feel sorry for him.
I'm a little torn.
It's very depressing.
For what it's worth, I'll ponder the lesson and, perhaps, write more.
I guess I could buy him movie passes when I finally find another job.
Still, I don't know.....
There is a fine line between charity and enabling.
Love ya,
S.