Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for....... I'm not sure....yet.... let's see where we end up. It snowed over the weekend. I kicked the weekend off falling asleep during my ritual to Aphrodite and Eros. I was incredibly disrespectful. I wasn't wearing make-up.  I wasn't dressed up. I didn't have any decent offerings. I just fell asleep. My Saturday morning dream consisted of a face from my past and above song playing as the soundtrack. Not good......I had dreams of someone in a burn unit and spent most of my weekend with a hauntingly sad feeling in the back of my head. It would seem I need to either sleep less or skip the delta dream state somehow. Maybe I can try lucid dreaming. The dreams are getting old. ************************************** I spent Saturday seeing hypnosis clients and driving in the snow.  I love April snows because people have finally figured out how to drive in the snow and there are fewer close calls. It was a heavy sno

T oday I am thankful that I can work as much as I want and stay away from the house. I made the mistake of coming home before 5:00.  I had a hypnosis client and went shopping. I wore my fake wedding ring and realized that it is a stupid thing to do.  More men flirt with you when you wear those. I'm not sure why.  Oh my.... *********************************** I walked in the door and my home phone rang. No one calls my home phone except the heavy breather and my ex's collection agencies.  I only keep the number because....don't laugh.....because the digits are an ancient spell to contact a djinn...consisting of the numerals 2468..  Those are the digits in my phone number (some of them are repeated).  I'm not going to give you the order of the numbers because then you'll know my phone number.  I thought the phone number was funny given my hobby of collecting alleged haunted artifacts.  I'm tempted to try one of the artifacts out.....yeah....

Today I am thankful for rage. I am frustrated because I cannot drill down what exactly is making me feel rage. I know why I am angry. I know it has to do with watching people cry today in municipal court. There is something strange going on that I can't quite put my finger on. I know it has to do with people obviously lying. Body language speaks volumes. I know it has to do with unfair laws and unfair fines. I know it has to do with political hypocrisy. I think there is more to it than those little things. I've been angry at the local government a very long time. When people rattle off the name of their City Councilmen, it's sad that I know he won't give a hairy rat's ass about his constituents.  Of course, I can't say that. It's true.  I'm not saying all the men are bad on council are bad.  A couple care quite a bit.  There are those who are more political oriented and really don't care about more than maint

Today I am thankful for well meaning witchy friends. I think I finally understand the dirty dreams.  It's probably my subconscious mind trying to figure out what love means to me. Love is unconditional. Love is there whether or not I'm alone or in a crowd. To me, love doesn't mean owning someone or clinging on to them. Love just is - whether or not the ones we love are with us. That is what I've learned about myself over the past six months or so. I am capable of love. I'm not capable of having a love/sexual relationship. ************************* I learned last night that a witchy friend had her coven cast a love spell for me.  These are spells where no one is named.  The intention is to find someone who would be a good match for me. They may have been concerned about my being alone.  Everywhere I went, I had puffy crying eyes.  She said she wanted to cast a spell to ward off my stalker but she was too afraid of what would happen to the

Today I am thankful for boxes and a reminder that my ex-husband doesn't understand boundaries. I am tired of hoovering. On Thursday, I received an email that my ex-husband had been fired again. I did not respond.  Friday night, he requested that I drop off the teenagers for a visit at a movie theater on the other side of town on Saturday afternoon.  I had an eye appointment.  I had about 12 hours notice.  The kids hadn't seen their father for over four months, so I agreed.....reluctantly.  He wanted them picked up three hours later.  The girl staying here offered to pick them up after the movie because my eyes were dilated and I could not see. The divorce decree spells out visitation quite clearly.  He's to pick them up and drop them off.  He's supposed to see them every Friday through Sunday on the first, second and fourth weekends of the month. He's supposed to carry health insurance and pay child support.  None of these things are hap

I heard this song today.  Upon listening to it, I realized why I don't want a relationship.  I like to  fight (or cause trouble for people who try to control others).  I realized that my God is the masculine energy that picks me up when things start to get....um....interesting.  I would never dare to put another mortal man in between me and trouble. That said..... Today I'm thankful that I have a temper. As a young child, I had a red curly fro.  I should post a picture.  On Facebook there is a picture of my redheaded mother pushing me in a stroller and my red curls are literally glowing in the sun. As I grew, it darkened up quite a bit to a very dark warm brown. There are pictures of me in the sun, wearing my Easter dress, and wrestling with boys.  My hair was dark. Around my birthday in the fall, it would lighten up. When my hair lightens up, I'm a ginger. For over thirty years, I've been trying to get my warm dark brown wavy hair back.  I had a p

Today I am thankful for a sign from my patron Goddess.    The city has taken three more dogs and are threatening to kill them. Each of these dogs were named after Pagan Goddesses. One of whom is the patron Goddess of Dogs - the deity who, in a dream, gave me my green eyes and red hair so that I would remember my mission. I awoke looking different. This goddess came to me in my sleep.  She told me I'll always be loved by one man who suffers in silence and that I'll fight for women, children and those among us with the least. All I can do is pray for the man and help him when he reaches out.  I do my best to fight for kids, women and people in general.  I worship archetypes.  She is MY archetype.  She protects women and children.  This Goddess only loved one man.  He now lives among the stars. I loved once.  He breathes under the same stars I do.  I choose to be alone: This gives me more time for rabble rousing.  The Goddess has given me a task I

Today I am thankful for home.   I visit my hometown twice a month.  Whenever I am there, I usually wind up talking to homeless people.  They basically live in the courtyard of my first hypnosis practice. When I was a teenager, my former office was a pharmacy.  My first boyfriend and I would hang out in the area.  We'd buy each other soda and coffee.  He bought me stuffed animals and cards at the pharmacy. When I had the chance to get an office there, I jumped all over it.  My office used to be the place the pharmacist filled prescriptions.  I still had the sliding window that had been there all those years! My intention was to keep that office and rent an apartment across the street.  I did not intend to get the house in the divorce.  When my in-laws started stalking me at the office and hassling the other tenants, I gave up my dream office. It was lovely.  We had leather furniture and jazz motifs.  It was perfect. There was a rabble rousing lawyer across t

Today I am thankful that someone on my block works; even if it is only the cop and the code enforce ment officer. I do see the occasional hypnosis client.  I don't charge Medicare recipients or people with terminal illnesses trying to make the most of the precious time left. I wouldn't call it a job right now because I don't make any money. I do rent an office and see clients.  I rarely work more than 10 hours a week doing hypnosis.  I spend a lot of time in my home recording studio.  This is where I typically inadvertently record the neighbors arguing with each other over the parking spot in front of my home. This morning, I went off to my office and came back four hours later.  Lo' and behold the cops were out here again harassing the renters. They don't say anything to the flippin' gun owner who hassles people who park in front of my house! It's starting to get annoying. It's insane. Each and everyday I see a c

Today I am thankful for being spiritual. I'm researching breed ban legislation. I've met someone else from Arvada whose hobby is saving pit bulls.  He says that Aurora is hiding behind home rule status as an excuse to kill service dogs.  I can actually see this.  The former city attorney played that game with my family some years ago. They were wrong. We sued. They were quick to settle.  I want to know when it became acceptable for cities to claim an exemption from Federal and State law due to home rule status? There is no truth to that.  It's just an argument cities use to enforce unethical laws. Seriously.....cities cannot use home rule status to deprive citizens of rights guaranteed by Federal or State law. If Aurora and Denver would prefer, we could play around and put a constitutional amendment on the ballot clarifying that they have no right to mess with the rights the State and Federal government confers to them.  Geesh! Why can't people ju