Bass Player Buddies

Today I am thankful for the advice of a fellow bass player.

I hope he doesn't try to discredit me because I like round wounds and do not know how to play on the fifth string.  


That's a joke. 

I guess threatening to discredit people is what some guys do when you disagree with them.

*****

I am trying to avoid men.  My friend has picked up on that.  He is telling me that I've let the ex before my last ex do a mind job on me. 

I think he wants to offer the cure. 

The cure, in his mind, is watching a marathon of Science Fiction movies. 


I'm a bass player, too.  I know what we like to do with our fingers while watching movies. 

*****


I can't have a man in my life.


I can't get rid of my ex-husband.


I feel ugly. 


I feel like a "looser".


I am in a lot of pain that I do not want to share with anyone no matter how handsome or hot he looks in his kilt. 


I am alone.  I am where I need to be. 

My friend has been trying to console me.  I don't want to see him.  He's tried to call and text me.  I hadn't let my phone charge.

Why?

I didn't want to hear the voice mail messages Steve left.


My bass player buddy, I guess we should give him a name, uh.....uh...we'll call him Nick.


Nick told me to charge my phone, delete all the voicemail messages and delete the text messages. 


He wanted to hear the whole story about the break-up. 


I don't want to tell it. 


I know that the emails only tell part of the story.  The text messages only a piece of it.  The voice mails told part of it.  The lunacy was there for a reason. 


I think the reason was due to my inability to get my ex-husband to move out of the house.  This made it hard to define the relationship.  It caused stress.  The stress took about three weeks to where there would be some stupid fight and he'd say something that made me feel threatened and I would walk away. 

 It was an on and off relationship. 


We were a yo-yo relationship. 


We have yo'd for the last time. 

*****

I wonder if Steve is bi-polar.  His emotions change on a whim.  I don't know. 
There is a reason why I say that.  I had to listen to part of each message before the icon showed up allowing me to delete it.




The first one he sounded pained.  He must have left that one when my phone was in the car.


By the time I got to the fourteenth message, he had become quite threatening. 

Around the seventh message, he stated that he wants to tell everyone that I don't believe that the government holds guns to other people's heads for eating potato chips. 


Okay.....whatever. 


I don't know if he made other threats.  I do know that he said something about sharing our email correspondence.


Okay.....whatever. 

No one in the world is going to care.  No one in the world is going to believe it came from me.  I wouldn't care if they knew.  Reality is what is going on.  Utopia is what Steve wants. 

We need to take care of reality before we can get to utopia.

*****

The reason I say that no one will care about any messages that Steve puts online is that I have a stalker.  The DA won't prosecute based on the emails and text messages I have received because it is impossible to prove who actually typed it.  They can prove an IP address but they cannot prove who actually typed and sent the message.

When I ran for mayor, a public official threatened me.  My accounts were hacked.  I received threatening emails.  I knew who it was because there was the only one person in the world concerned about my weight.  She would even leave public comments in online forums about my "fat" body.  No one cared.  No one asked me about it.  No one commented on it.  It was ignored.

Everyone knew the anorexic old lady that ran the tax audit department wrote those comments and messages.  No one could prove it.  What could anyone do?

It didn't make her look very good either.

So, whatever Steve threatens to post about me won't help him look good.  He'd probably get heckled if he tried telling people the hypothetical fantasy about a government official shooting junk food aficionados.



If he's going to make fun of my religion, a few members of the Republican Party tried that.  It didn't work for them.  Some of them ask me to "pray" for them now, too. 


Oh, and I am soooo thankful I didn't share my more kinkier fantasies with him.  My true middle name could have given them cause to giggle.  There is a news reel of my making a faux pas at a premier to a Schwarzenegger film back in the late 80's (that was sooo bad, I stopped watching the local news). 


Really....there is so much more demented and fun stuff he could leak to the press if he knew about it.

I'm not really sure they'd care.  It would have to be a cold, snowy, slow news day in Hades before they'd care enough to run gossip about me.



Steve may have to wait until 2016 to even pretend to destroy my credibility.  That's the next chance I have to run. 


I may move to Arizona, so he's going to have to be incredibly well read to find me in the papers.


I didn't say anything wrong. 

He is threatening me because he is hurt. 

*****

I am in pain. 

I thought Steve was the one.  He's not. 
He sent me two text messages claiming that I am a sociopath.

I am wondering if I am a sociopath.  I don't think I should date until I figure that one out.

I am confused.

My ex-husband tried to kiss me last night.  He mentioned wanting to make love.

He wants to get re-married.
I'd rather be celibate.

I feel sick. 

This is why I cannot be alone with Nick anymore.  I cannot risk falling in love again until my ex is a thing of my past.

Love ya,

S.