My friend Andrew has been trying to tell me this for a little over a year. It seems Andrew will mention his struggle with alcoholism every time Steve posts something bizarre or rude to my Facebook account. I am beginning to believe Andrew is right; the insults, the put-downs, and the miscellaneous craziness is pretty much due to alcohol.
I'm so stupid.
Steve is not bi-polar. He is not paranoid. He most likely has not recovered from his alcoholism. I don't know for sure but it would explain a lot of things.
- Paranoia is a symptom of alcohol abuse.
- So are the jerky eye movements he exhibits when he is feeling intimate.
- The abusive emails, texts, and voice messages he forgets about could be a sign.
- Steve once tried to pressure me into drinking alcohol at a bar.
- Other things point specifically to alcoholism, such as his legal history and his loss of a driver's license.
- It could also explain those rare non-lucid Facebook posts and how he misunderstands and overreacts to the most innocent of comments.
- It also explains the projection and blame that comes my way.
- It would explain the rare written Facebook attacks on mutual friends that occur on Friday and Saturday nights.
- There are physical signs of it to in the form of dry and cracking skin, hair loss, and trouble sleeping through the night.
This is all most likely due to alcohol.
He only attacks me those weekends when I do not spend Friday night with him. He told me that sometimes he'll drink when I am not there. The last time I went over, he had two bottles of his homemade raspberry wine sitting on the mantle of his fireplace.
It was pretty yummy stuff. It tasted like hard liquor. I couldn't have much of it.
The last time I saw him, he claimed I was yelling at him. I wasn't.
Maybe he was hung over?
The alcohol must be the answer.
My friend has to get help for his alcoholism.
I have to get help for putting up with it and to try to gain an understanding of it.
I studied alcohol counseling for several years. I never did the internships so I'm not licensed. I have used that knowledge, though, to help people overcome other addictions in my psychotherapy practice.
If I could do anything with my life, I would counsel and provide transitional housing to homeless people. When I was a young lady, homeless people kept me company on the streets of Denver and told me which cops to trust and which to avoid. I have always had a soft spot for that population and I thought an understanding of alcoholism would come in handy if my dream to run a charity comes true.
Alcoholism is no reason to throw someone way. It is possible to get help. It is possible to fix it. He has to want to do it. I am not sure that I owe him an explanation or a diagnosis. He has a therapist that can do that.
Alcohol killed my parents. My step-father killed my mother when he was in a drunken rage. Three years later he got drunk and shot himself.
I have a hard time being comfortable around drunk people.
Andrew has been sober for twenty years. He is living proof that it gets better and that people can successfully overcome the issue. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.
Love ya,
S.