Relationship Limbo

Today I am thankful for being stuck in relationship limbo.

I finally realized how I know that men are interested in me as a relationship partner.

It is a three step process.

First, we have either a friendship or other type of relationship (quasi-professional or community based).

Then, they find out I'm getting divorced.

Then, here is the key, they start asking a heck of a lot of questions.

When our coffee outings start feeling like job interviews,

I know they want a wife.

My friends always attract the players, the assholes, the ingrates, the slam 'em and bam 'em guys who forget to say thank you after they make a mess on your dress.

I get the nice guys that want to parade diamonds on my finger. I get to turn down the gifts, the fancy dinners, and the concert tickets.

I get to meet the parents, the kids, and I get investigated to the hilt.

I'm not sure if I should consider myself lucky or not.

Weird...

As long as I have relationship limbo, I don't have to play the game. All I have to say is that the divorce isn't final and, wow, it's over.

Maybe if I joined a rock band I could chase away the marriage minded scary dudes?

I don't believe in marriage.

Sigh....

Maybe not....my first marriage proposal was from a musician.

Damn....

Love ya,

S.

P.S. Wow....on another note....I bitched in the papers and a Senator must've read my piece. I'm listening to current testimony at the state house pertaining to gun control bills. They actually added the all the suggestions I rudely made.

Never underestimate the power of a familiar name, a red head of hair, and a bitchy attitude.

Speak your peace and change your world.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor hi...

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP a...

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