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Charming Men

Today I am thankful for charming men. 


I went to a political meeting today. 

A man sat next to me and kissed my hand. 

"Are you married?"  He asked. 

"Yes."  I said. 

"Happily?"  He inquired with blue eyes that could cut through the coldest of steel.

"No."  I started to blush. "Thank goodness I have a hot boyfriend." 

"Oh, you must all be Libertarians that understand that kind of thing!"  He exclaimed. 

"Actually, yes.  We all believe in personal freedom." Those words came out of my mouth as I caught my reflection in the window.  My face matched my red hair!  

Wow.

The man and I went on to talk about literature and helping someone win a council seat.

I found that weird. 

I am absolutely huge! I've got to lose at least forty pounds to fit in last year's clothing.   I think I look like a hippo.  I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow and the specialist on Tuesday. 

I think I may have gained that weight due to drugs I was taking to even out my estrogen.  I asked some of my friends who took it and they gained an average of six pounds a month on the stuff.  I took it for over a year.  That could explain things. 

But, if the doctor says it's my thyroid.  I'll listen to him. 

The shrink says that it is not uncommon for stalking victims to have fluctuating weight due to the cortisol stress puts in their systems.  I can't stand being fat.  I hate it.  I'm embarassed to go out in public now.

What in the heck do men see in me?   I'm chunky!!

Eeewww!! 

I found two offices, both are heavily secured with cameras within the building and parking lot.  I may go with the office where the manager told me that I can get the camera feed sent to my smart phone.

I put in a call to the local PD in that area to see how they handle stalking cases.  I have pictures of Shannon and Doug that I gave to the management and will share with the neighborhood police officer. 

And...yeah....

I really don't have a boyfriend.  I have a love interest and a budding friendship where the guy stares at me a little too long. 

I can't get my friend out of my mind.  I wish I knew what to do about it.  I'm a mess.  I need to clean up the messiness so that I can be more available to him.   I really love him.  I just realized that he loved me at the wrong time. 

If I had known earlier, I would made different choices in my life. 

I don't have room for anyone else right now.  The last thing I need is another handsome bald guy with blue eyes hitting on me.

I'm trying to do what Steve told me to do.  I am trying to wish for the best of everyone involved. 

Why is it taking so long? 

Maybe I haven't learned the lesson yet. 

I'm staying silent and know everything will work out eventually. 

Love ya,

S. 

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