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Changes


Today I am somewhat thankful for changes. 


Mike is looking for an apartment five cities away.   I still think that if his sister is stalking me, I should move out but he wants me to stay here to take care of things. 

I learned today that Shannon tried to use a bump key and hammer to break into our home as I prepared to visit a local artist on my birthday. 

I'm scared to death. 

I'm not sure I'm safe in this house. 

I went to a career counselor today.  We spoke about the stalking and really the only way that I can stay safe is to switch careers.  If I continue to be a therapist, the state will post my contact information online for the world to see, so I have to give up the job I love. 

I'm a little sad about it. 

I'm trying not to cry.

I also realized that Shannon and Mike were both alumni of the school I graduated from.  They will be able to get my contact information if I update it with the university.  So, I may have to give up the alumni association, too. 

I'm in pain but it has to be done. 

I had another man interested in seeing me.  I figured out how to chase him away.  He was very attractive Scorpio, so all the normal

"I'm married

and interested in having an affair with another man

which puts me at my limit for men I can see naked at one time"

 stuff didn't work on him. 

Usually, they ask if the marriage is happy or if I've actually been with the other guy.  If the answer is no...or if they realize that I'm not f'ing anyone...then they volunteer. 

I've been through this a few times. 

This time, I told him I was prude and hate blow jobs.  That did the trick.   

Usually, Scorpios figure out when I'm lying. 

Maybe I wasn't worth the trouble.  

Wow... that was easy. 

What the heck is wrong with me? 

I'm in love with a friend.  No one else stands a snowball's chance in hell with me. 

I can't be with my friend. 

He's alone. 
I hate to see him alone. 

So...

I finished my spell to Isis today.  Maybe my friend will find someone hotter to snuggle and I won't feel so guilty about not being with him. 

I wanted my divorce to be final before he found out I loved him. 

I guess I'm too transparent. 

He knew. 

How in the heck did he know?

I about cringed when I realized he had feelings for me. 

He told the entire world!! 

He's so romantic.  No one was shocked, except I.  Everyone else saw it.  Everyone saw that I loved him.  Everyone saw that he loved me. 

I'm so damn clueless. 

I think his patience with me has worn thin. 
It's hard to love someone who is unavailable. 

If it were meant to be, it would happen. 

Love always wins, right? 

Maybe I'm not the one that will make his smile the widest. 

For what it's worth, I'm working on changing things. 

I am partially writing today to document what I learned about Shannon visiting my home on my birthday somewhere.  Oh, and I had to change my Facebook settings.  Someone was logged in my Facebook account from the city where Shannon lives at the same time I was logged in.  I use Chrome.  This person uses Internet Explorer 7.  My stalker uses IE!!  How smart can he/she be? 

Damn....I'm terrified. 

I'm still terrified and unsure how this is going to end. 

I should probably move out of state and change my name. 

May everyone find exactly what they need (including Shannon or whoever put her up to stalking me).

Love ya,

S.

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