Today I am thankful for passive aggressive social media posts: they give you insight into the minds of men you love.
Yesterday, I met a man. He looks like my high school sweetheart but without the kilt.
He was hot.
He sat next to me.
When the dolts wanting a one billion dollar tax hike asked if anyone had the time to read the details of their proposal, both of our right hands shot up in the air.
I didn't like that electricity.
I squirmed away.
He offered to walk me to my car, I ran to the bathroom and escaped through a backdoor.
This man found me online and asked me out. I'm trying to find a nice way of saying that I'm unavailable without saying why.
I knew who he was when I saw him. He's a friend of a political frenemy who knows my situation. My frenemy can't keep a secret to save his life. He's a good man, just a little too helpful. This man knows I've been separated for six years.
He's also political so I have to be careful what I say. If we have a falling out, it will be repeated.
How does one say that I already have a love interest without screaming slut?
My frenemy can't keep a secret.
We ran against each other a couple of years ago. I had to hypnotize him in the closet to get over his fear of public speaking. I was caught by a reporter. That was an interesting interview. I had to hypnotize the reporter.
Sigh...
Today I went to a political event and a man approaches me and tells me that he voted for me because I'm a Vegan and Wiccan.
Who told him that I was Vegan and Wiccan?
I think I know.
Ugh!!!
I'm not Wiccan.
I'm Pagan.
It's not the same.
I was Vegan. I started eating meat in 2009 after I started losing my hair. Going off that diet caused me to gain a ton of weight. I decided to go pollo-vegatarian this time.
I haven't had meat for a week. I've lost five pounds.
Wow...
Anyway, I came home crying last night. I felt so lonely. I couldn't sleep last night. I miss Steve.
I don't know what to do.
I go back to the lawyer on Monday.
Steve won't call me because he's upset with me. I think he's mad that I let Mike come back.
I feel like it's my fault he's alone. I didn't know he was interested until it was too late.
I did what I did thinking it would keep everyone safe. I made things worse.
If Steve were meant to be with me, things would be over and done with. This is taking too long.
I pray he finds the woman meant for him.
If it were me, wouldn't I have this mess cleaned up by now?
It's horrible. When I meet other men, it makes me miss Steve.
I don't know what to do. I need my life to get less complicated before I invite a man into it.
I don't know how to explain this to someone without being near them. That is one of those conversations that I should have face to face.
I had to take one of the kids to a shrink yesterday. The shrink asked her if she wanted me to go back to her father, she said no. She said that I'm happier with my friend and that it was nice being near a man who validated her feelings.
I don't know what to do.
Steve will never trust me. If he can't talk to me in person, maybe I can't trust him.
I can't be with anyone.
So, I'm off to try to record another one hour voice over. I'll try to do it without crying. I've had to stop and start this one due to the pain in my heart.
I wish I were the only one feeling it.
Love ya,
S.