Today I am thankful that everyone forgot my birthday!
I mean e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e.
except Facebook (Facebook never forgets)!
The kids at work have the wrong day (funny, eh?)
Of course, my family forgot.
It's all good.
Uh, Oh.... a couple of texts just came in.
I guess someone remembered.
The bee swatter guy I'm worried about reached out on two social networks to wish me a happy birthday.
I'll reach out to him but only because I'm worried. I hope he's okay.
***
The beauty of people forgetting is that I get to stay young a little bit longer.
Maybe not celebrating
is the reason people think I'm in my thirties?
Perhaps....
***************************** I'm not sure if I want to go out and shop for bass guitars because it is also Labor Day and I don't want to make people work.
To be honest, I'm getting a crush on that Araya ESP. So far, the videos where people review it, it sounds nice.
What is the difference between the $400 version and the $5,000 version?
I need to do some research before I bring one home.
I'm still partial to Steinbergers and probably shouldn't clutter my home with something I won't like.
The biggest regret was getting rid of my Koa wood 5-string Peavey. If I find another in good shape, I'm grabbing it.
Never had an Ibanez before - but this one could be the winner. I say that because another friend asked me to hang on to his guitars and amps while he tried to reconcile with his wife. I don't want to play any of them like I play or else I'd break the strings.
Maybe the bass I name Tom needs to be a six string.
I really like this one:
If it sounds good, I'm buying it for my birthday.
Oh....wow....they used to make a fretless version. I wonder if I can find it used?
Always wanted a fretless bass.
Maybe I should wait?
I want to get a manicure but if I find a bass, I'll just cut all my fingernails anyway.
For me, this is the hardest part about being female.
Do I want to look pretty or do the stuff I like to do?
*** I'm not even sure what I'm going to wish for when I blow out those 51 candles.
The selfish part of me wants to wish for someone to share the few years I have left with.
The realist part of me wants to wish for a plan to take on the idiot politicians locking everything down. I can't tell anyone my wish once I make it.
Besides, I have asthma. There is ash falling on my car from a wildfire nearby. I probably won't have a prayer of blowing out the inferno on the cake.
I'm told I have more than 400 Djinn - so if I knew what I wanted, I could always just make a wish.
Seriously, though, I'll check in later and let ya know what I did today.
Love ya,
S.
LATER IN THE DAY:
So, I'm falling in love with 1/3 of the basses I see online.
I found a purple version of this one with custom pick-ups. I really want it.
I think I'm going to give it 24 hours.
I also saw an alto sax I want.
Sigh....
**
I regret reading my birthday Tarot reading. It doesn't help. I'll post it below for the laugh.
The absolute highlight of my day was getting a call from a dear friend that I love but couldn't date due to my religion is GETTING MARRIED!
I am so very stoked! It's going to be nearly impossible to get the day off from work. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
I've been praying for him for FIVE long years!!!
This is the best birthday ever!
Love ya!!
Want to laugh?
Here is the tarot reading (with my commentary in red):
Your cards: the Moon (18) - the Tower (16) - the Chariot (7) - the Fool - the Hermit (9)
First of all, the Moon and the Tower reveal new challenges in your life. Because you are looking towards the future, you have new goals to help you move a little closer to your dreams. The Moon refers to your subconscious and shows that lately you've been imagining a better life for yourself.
If we are thinking about nocturnal dreams, some of my dreams are cool - other dreams I really don't want to manifest.
Today, there's no question of making the same mistakes again. The Tower in second place indicates you are ready to leave behind what belongs in the past so you can move forward in your life.
Hopefully, I learned the lessons from my mistakes. I made a ton of mistakes! When I began studying your future with the cards, I immediately became aware of your uniqueness. More than anything, it was your values and beliefs that caught my interest. You are a sensitive and understanding person. Always ready to listen to your loved ones, you have understood one essential thing: your happiness depends on the happiness of your family and friends. This very altruistic attitude means you listen to your friends and family, show them understanding and empathize with them.
I'm a little too sensitive. I spent the day crying over a recurring nightmare that is all in my head. I Don't really want to sleep anymore. On the bright side, maybe I'll get more done. I'm back to sleeping four hours a night. I should make better use of my time.
.... today's draw announces big upheavals in your life in the coming weeks. The Chariot invites you to make a fresh start. Associated with the Fool in fourth position,it evokes a major breakthrough in your life.
Uh oh - the Fool - The Fool takes risks and sometimes lucks into good stuff. With me, often it's a crap shoot.
This is especially true on the emotional level, and I get some pretty strong feelings about the return of a man in your life. The path to which your draw is referring may well be the one of love and personal confidence.
That is such a huge contradiction isn't it? Letting go of the past by bringing people from my past back into my world....
hmmm....
To tell the truth about it, there is a man from my past in my nocturnal life now (in that he's in my nightmares). I thought it would end when I learned he was okay.
He gave me the time of day to remind me that he's alive. I need to respect him now and stay the heck away. I know he loves me because of how he acts around me but I get the sense I irritate him and cause him pain.
This is why I need to stay away. There are millions of prettier women out there.
Besides, those nightmares are all in my head.
Please let them be all in my head....Seriously, he can't break his leg again. If he's drinking himself into pain or feeling lonely and isolated, I'm sure he can call me. I'm far too easy to find.
Again, there are millions of prettier women out there.
I'm going to try taking a handful of allergy medication at night. I know it won't help the liver tumor but if I can't sleep, I'll probably kill people when I fall asleep driving.
I think naming a bass after him will cover for me if I scream out his name after dreaming that he's swimming with the sharks, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, being bitten by a thousand wolves, impaled with thousands of cupid's arrows or whatever the nightmare of the week is.
This has got to stop.....seriously.....
The dreams started again about a year ago. They started to get worse in May. I wonder what triggered the nightmares this time?
Possibly the lockdowns. I'm worried about everyone.
I'll never know.
I'll light another white candle and pray.
I'm insane. That's the only answer for the nightmares. I'm flippin' nuts.
What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor hi...
Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP a...
