Today I am thankful for my subconscious mind.
A couple of days ago, I had a dream of a Djinni. Djinn are said to be the fallen angels of Islam.
There are five or so classifications of Djinn.
One was said to be created at the time of the Archangels.
Another was the family of Djinn who rebelled against God - they're the Shaitan. As a child, I was taught that every human being was assigned a Shaitan at birth to temp them into hell.
There are believer Djinn - The Marid, I think.
There are other classifications, Ifrit, Jann - the list goes on and on.
I've heard conjurers talk about Egyptian djinn but I know very little about their mythology.
*****
I do not own a lamp.
Many years ago, I was sent an iron necklace from a soldier in the Middle East. He said a native ran up to him with a necklace asking him to take it because it was evil. (That cracks me up - the best way to get rid of an occupying force is to give them an evil object that will grant twisted wishes).
The old man who gave him the necklace said he found it in the sand while looking for his lost granddaughter. He prayed to find her and followed a vaporous being until he found his granddaughter.
That is when he discovered the necklace. He held on to it until he could be rid of it.
It wound up with me.
It is beautiful. It contains a huge, polished Lapis Lazuli that glows in the middle of the night as the moon hits it.
I love it.
I've worn it just a handful of times. One day, while in a post-graduate class, a woman felt compelled to touch it. It SHOCKED her!
Another time, I wore it, Michael was in my mini-van. I was in the passenger seat just listening to a bunch of lies. As he was lying to me and I simply said something like " I wish you'd learn that lying makes things worse and hurts people."
Within moments, he was pulled over by a police officer saying that he ran a red light in a parking lot!
That made me laugh.
Then she said my tail light was out.
It wasn't.
So, he fought it. In court, she made other crap about him not using a turn signal and what not.
It basically turned out to be a lesson in why lying hurts people. It didn't stop him from continuing to lie though.
I learned that the Arapahoe County Sheriff's department had ticket quotas of four tickets per hour. That information helped me fight a tax hike later on.
I realized that guys who act like pricks to women get hurt when I wear that necklace. It could be in my head -but- I just don't wear it any more as to not take any chances.
This is where the gossip about me being a djinn conjurer or satanic practitioner comes from.
Of course, my in-laws are superstitious so I let people send me all sorts of strange jewelry (many with alleged djinn on them). I have hundreds of pieces - so that is where the joke comes from.
It did little to scare my in-laws away.
*****
In January, I was sent in for an MRI of my liver.
I was told that I had a tumor but they didn't know much more about it. I was told to come back in six months for another MRI.
Then COVID hit.
I've never been back for the second MRI. Another doctor looked at the film or whatever MRIs produce, and declared it to be benign but told me I needed to get an ultrasound to make sure it hadn't grown.
The pain has been intense both in my abdomen and back. It's been horrible. I vomit too much. I faint too much. It's bad.
Luckily, I can pretty much control my pain with hypnosis so I can work. The pain typically hits me in my sleep. I average about four to five hours of sleep a night because I wake up crying.
*****
Yeah, I still dream of people that I shouldn't. I'd rather be in pain then have dream of other people hurting.
I do have other dreams.
Yesterday, I had a dream of a blue djinn telling me that I didn't have a liver tumor. It said I had a gallstone that migrated to my liver. I was told to buy 'Jin Qian Cao' and drink it for a week.
So -
One of my sisters is a doctor of Chinese Medicine. She hooked me up.
Jin Qian Cao tastes like dirt.
I'm actually feeling a little bit better. I slept six hours and sixteen minutes last night.
I'll keep it up and report back. It could help someone else.
Louise Hay wrote that liver problems were caused by anger and fear. Boy, have I been angry in the past decade due to the stalking and crap.
Things have changed. I gave up my therapy practice in 2011 because the State of Colorado forced therapists to list our personal information online. I didn't want to give Mike's family ammo. I basically closed up shop and got a very cheap office that I rarely visit because I was found and harassed there (I learned later that they had the password to my Google Calendar account - I don't use online scheduling tools anymore).
Upon applying for a new counseling license, I learned that they finally have an exemption for therapists who are stalked.
It's too late for me. This will help countless other people.
I'm glad someone finally changed that. Maybe all that whining to politicians about wanting to keep my guns paid off. They gave us something else that will help many more people.
There is no problem with anger or fear; fear keeps us safe and anger changes things.
Now is the time to reap the benefits of all those things I worked for years ago.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. My hard drive is dying - so I may not be back for a long time because I have little time to shop. It's crying and whining kinda like it's owner.
I'm backing everything up. The computer is three years old. They don't make 'em like they used to. When I can get out to buy a new one, I will. This one had candle wax spilled on it two years ago so I'm not going to try to save it.
I have an old vintage 90's era Dell Laptop that still runs, even with Windows10. They keyboard is pretty bad but it still works. Thankfully, I can still answer emails.
If I don't come back for awhile - I'll leave some advice for you.
Listen to your gut - our instincts are rarely wrong.
Fight the good fight - you can't go wrong if you fight for the right reasons.
You are lovable just as you are no matter who you are. Perfection is overrated. Our imperfections make us unique and are often endearing to others.
If you doubt your worthiness, just remember - even assholes in prison get love letters. We know, you're nothing like most people in that situation.
Hugs and Well Wishes,
Siegfred
