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Trying To Understand How Good Men Turn Mean

Today I am thankful for people who talk about verbal abuse.



I found a few links that talk about the issue.  I feel like I am dealing with it in stereo.  I want to understand so I never find myself in this situation again. 

This is the best link that I can find. 

http://hubpages.com/hub/Abusive-Relationships-Problem-Solving

Here is a paragraph.  There is so much insight here.  I would implore you to read the link.


While many people on the forum may say, "You're being abused" or "You're being abusive," his is the one voice that describes the abuser's perceptions, and he does it very effectively. Recently, when a woman posted about relationship issues she was having, many people replied to her thread with the same response, "You should leave him."
And like most of us have done, she said, "But he's my best friend."
Here's what MrK told her:
Here's where the disconnect happens. He is your best friend 99% of the time. He knows that, you know that. He sees his outbursts as bad, but he doesn't know HOW bad. He doesn't know what it does to you. What he sees as an aberration to an otherwise perfect marriage leaves you living in fear that 99% of the time he's "good". So 100% of your marriage is "off" for you. For him it's 1% (or less even). For him it's a minor "bad" but it's driving you away. He has NO IDEA that is happening. And DO NOT tell me "but I've told him 100 times in counseling". Talking doesn't work. You need to DO!!


This video is pretty darn enlightening.  It talks about the mental thought processes that underlie emotional abuse. 



I have heard Steve say similar things. 

He once said that if he got me to like sex, he was sure I'd leave him for someone else.

I have no interest in anyone else. 


I am unsure how to handle this. 


I've spent the past year in tears.

I really need to focus on going back in business and making money.

I want to be myself again.

I danced today.

I danced. 

I admired the bassist's blue Peavey Fury. 

I want one now!

*****


I am seriously considering staying with Michael for the time being.

His presence keeps men away.

There is really is no hurry to push him out of the house right now.

He doesn't want sex.

He just wants me to be a mother figure to him.

I like doing laundry. 

It's safer than being hurt.

I will talk to another stalking expert in two weeks.

I know she'll tell me to move out of state.

I'll keep you updated. 

Love,

S.

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