Back to Life

Today I am thankful for the realization that my divorce is actually over:

Now I can get back to life.

I don't know where to start.

I actually miss having a public relationship with Steve.  Men are coming out of the woodwork again.
Sunday, it was a man I went to high school with.  I never knew him.  His name is Rick and he's concerned about the stalking I'm enduring.  I'll ignore him until our reunion in two weeks.  

Today, it was a guy named Mike.  He sent me a private message. 

"I saw you in the paper and thought you would be a cool person to know.  Let's hook up." 

I discreetly signed out.  UGH!!!  

This guy is Christian.

Why do Pagan women attract so many Christian men?

Is it a numbers game?  Is it because the majority of men here are Christian?

Or is it because they want to save us?

I think my religion is why Steve keeps breaking up with me.

He works for a Christian company.

His boss tells him that I'm the wrong religion for him.

Why?

I am a Syncretic Pagan.

That means that I worship Jesus. 

I know....I know....they want to save his soul. 

So do I.    

*****

Speaking of saving.....

I have to speak my peace about spells. 

If you feel the need to do it, think about it. 

Typically they do more harm than good.  

Last Thursday I drove out to Steve's place to pick up my chairs and saw him milling about.  I hid until he walked off.  It was 8:30 p.m. He was wearing a black t-shirt, blue jeans and brown suede shoes.


He threatened to get a restraining order, so I didn't want him to see me.

I'm pretty sure he did. 

Yesterday, we spoke. 

He said that Thursday at 8:30 p.m., he cast a spell to get me to contact him.  I literally watched him do that.   

I described what I saw and what he was wearing.

He is excited that his spell worked.

His spell didn't work.  My desire to get my chairs back and put an end to the madness worked.

He wrote to me to tell me that he didn't want to hear from me again or else he'd file for a restraining order. 

How dare someone say such things to me when they don't mean it?

UGH!!!!

Always try to solve problems with mundane means first!!!  Don't harass other entities or the universe to get your way. 

The best way to make sure that you don't lose your love is to not kick her out of your life and threaten to get a restraining order if she contacts you.  He wanted me to contact him?

I do not understand. 

He threatened me.  If he hadn't done that, he wouldn't have needed to resort to a spell.  Rather than ask elementals to help you solve a problem of your own creation, sometimes the best thing to do is not act like a controlling a-hole. 

*****

Spells!!!

 

They change everything. 

 

I once cast a spell to get rid of the mayor.  I was asked to take a crack at his seat.

 

I don't like casting spells.

 

I have had fun, though.  Someone sent me an alleged djinn object.  I was holding it while joking with hanging out with some old friends rockin' out to 80's music.  I jokingly said that I wished I could meet the guitar player I had a crush on as a child.

 

He contracted me directly on Twitter within five minutes.

 

We tweeted back and forth about Obama's narcissism. 

 

The aftermath was not pretty.  One of the women became jealous.  She actually named her kids after him. 

She could have tweeted, too!! 

 

Still......she still doesn't talk to me. 

 

I got in trouble. 

 

Spells!!!

 

Wishes!!! 

 

Don't do it. 

Don't....don't....don't...

 

If Steve doesn't believe me, I'll make a wish to be famous.

Just watch...... 

 

Either I'll be accused of a crime that I didn't commit or I'll magickly improve my singing and join an established rock band. 

 

Either way....well....he'd have to date the other chick he keeps writing about on Facebook because he'll never see me again unless he wants to have his new lady love bake me a cake with a file in it. 

 

 

*****

Spells are like hair dye.

 

When I was seventeen, my warm brown hair turned red.

It has NEVER been the same since. 

 

It was the most ugly thing I've ever seen. 

 

Every week, I tried to darken it. 

 

The red never left. 

 

The dye would leach out after a few days and my hair would be bright red again. 

 

It made me mad.

 

One day, I'm at the mall and this handsome young man was staring at me.  I'm picking through hair dye, trying to find the color that I remember having as a little girl. 

 

He stared. 

 

Oh.....he was hot.

He was tall, blond, athletic and had a dreamy look in his eyes. 

He just stared. 

 

Another boy came up to him and said

"Let her go, man.  She's going to ruin herself.  We all know that God knows how to create perfection.  She's going to dye her hair and mess it up."

 

This is how I feel about spells.

 

God creates perfection.

 

It's best to ask his approval before fucking it up.

 

Ask God to prepare you so you can find the right woman for you.

 

Don't....wish to have sex with Siegfred. 

 

The first prayer will get you where you need to be.

 

The other is just a crap shoot. 

*****

Mercury was retrograde.  NONE of my phones were working.  Steve wound up calling my business line and he heard a message that I had recorded in 2009.

 

He remarked that I sounded happy on my message. 

 

Oh....I was. 

 

It was before politics.  It was before my ex spent the retirement.  It was before the stalking picked up.  I was vegan.  I was a size 8.  I was happy.  

 

It was a happy life. 

 

I want to be that person again. 

 

I'm ready to be that person again. 

I'm going to go back to being me.

 

I don't have to worry about playing small to avoid the ire of a divorce court.

 

I don't need to worry about pissing off a judge.

 

It's time to get back to the fun of life. 

Love ya,

 

S.