Skip to main content

Hugs & Human Contact

 
Today I am thankful for hugs.
 
I think I miss human contact. 
 
I ventured out of the house again to go to a community event. 
 
I have a neighbor who has been trying to get me to date her high school sweetheart for about six months.  He was trying to wait in the wings.  I'm trying to hide. 
 
He's a nice guy....but...I don't feel him like I should.   I have to feel connected to people before I hang out with them.  It's weird....I know. 
 
She ran up to me and hugged me. 
 
I had just finished working out and taken a shower.  I have very long curly red hair.  It takes hours to dry. 
 
I felt icky, having her feel my damp head. 
 
Then, I was grabbed and hugged by a politician, a school board member and another parent. 
 
I miss being out in public. 
 
I can't stay stuck here. 
 
So...

I tried talking to the man in the basement again. 
 
I'll never understand him.....ever...
 
I explained to him that if I stay I'll never be able to hold a job or save money.  I'll never be able to finish my doctorate.  Worse, if I stay here I will never have sex again. 
 
The stalking scares me.  The yelling scares me.  The lack of access to money frustrates me. 
 
The lack of nooky makes me mean and nasty. 
 
I need to file for a divorce. 
 
I'd prefer that he cooperates with me.  If he cooperates, we can have a mediator take care of it for less than $750. 
 
If he wants to be a dick, I'll end up paying $4,000 for a lawyer. 
 
I told him that I may have to sell my wedding ring to pay the legal fees.  He got angry and started digging through his jewelry box hunting for his wedding band.  He became agitated and threw the box of jewelry on the floor.
 
I'm tired of this. 
 
He said that he would like me to stay married to him even if it means that I have an affair. 
 
No...
 
I'd rather leave first because the scenario he posits could hurt a third party. 
 
He is promising me anything I want. 
 
He's done that before. 
 
 I'm not buying it. 
 
I feel so alone.
 
I wish I had someone I could trust with the reality of the situation.  
 
Maybe, when it snows this weekend, my car will get stuck in another town and I'll have a couple of days of peace and quiet. 
 
That is what I'm aiming for. 
 
Anyone want to join me? 

Love ya,
 
S. 
 
 
 
 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

My Competition

Only our best friends and greatest teachers will have the courage to say those uncomfortable things to help us get out of the mud and back on our paths.   Today I am thankful for my competition. I love being a hypnotist because I have the most wonderful colleagues in the world. I bought a refresher Stop Smoking Hypnosis Course from another hypnotist trainer.  I bought it because I'm too lazy to create my own business forms.  It comes with the forms.  Usually, I can't read anything this man writes without learning something new.  I figured that I couldn't go wrong investing in his products.  I received the package yesterday.  It was supposed to contain four CDs. I received five.  Do you want to guess what the fifth one was?  It was a hypnosis session entitled "Overcome Your Lost Love." I'm a little bit tickled at that discovery. This is perfect!!! I love this guy's voice.   This is the mo...

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...