Today, I am thankful for disposable gloves and hand sanitizer.
So,
I think the stalker has taken a turn for the worse.
At least it looks that way.
There was a pair of bloody underwear sitting atop my garbage can today, in the middle of my backyard.
They were not mine.
They are cotton with purple and white horizontal stripes.
I prefer cotton undies with lace tops. I like to wear solid colors.
Besides, I wear St. Eve underwear because the name reminds me of my crush.
The only pair I have that are not Hanes or St.Eve have little cupcakes on them because I wear them with the fantasy that I'll get a lick of icing someday.
That is the same reason I wear my Christmas undies with pictures of mistletoe on them......
all.....
year....
long.
Someday, I'll get a kiss.
Horizontal stripes?
I'd never wear those.
They make my butt look big.
The underwear was not there last night when I took out the trash.
No one in my home claims responsibility.
I have no clue.
What in the world is the message?
Mr./Ms. Stalker needs to be a little more direct.
I don't understand what this person is trying to say.
How can you intimidate me if I don't get what you are trying to do?
Does someone need stalking lessons?
Me, I need more disposable plastic gloves and vanilla scented hand sanitizer.
Love,
S.
Edit: The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the squirrels are running around spreading other people's garbage around the neighborhood. This doesn't fit the stalker's behavior at all.
My stalker likes to have his family and friends go to third parties to spread malicious gossip. They also like to threaten me on the telephone or drive by and make mention of what they saw.
The cops say my somewhat estranged spouse is my stalker.
The "ex" says that his mother is my stalker.
No one has never left dirty undies before out in the open like that....keys, religious anti-abortion literature, notes and such but I've found an article of clothing.
If I really wanted to catch him in the act, I'd just hire an escort to kiss me in public and make a huge spectacle of it. I'm sure the stalker would come out of the woodwork then.
He always shows up when he thinks I'm having lunch with an old flame.
If I do that, I'm hiring a stripper that dresses up like a cop.
I've decided to go out and buy some nuts, seeds, and dried apple bits and put them out in the yard just in case it is a squirrel. It could be a squirrel dragging our neighbor's trash into our yard. Maybe it'll stop the craziness with regards to finding other people's dirty clothing in my backyard.
Or else I'm insane and another party in my home is responsible for the errant underwear. If so, that could be a good sign. It will make things much, much easier. If he has a girlfriend, then I have an easier exit plan.
We'll see.
Cheers!