Garbage Dumps

Today I am thankful for garbage dumps. 

I had numerous phone calls yesterday from two different numbers five minutes apart.  I had no idea who the calls were from.  They've been calling quite a bit over the past couple of days.  Each number averaged five calls in the span of half-an-hour.

I turned off my cell phone. 

Now, my sister-in-law likes that trick.  She'll call constantly to, as she puts it, "force me to talk to her".  If that doesn't work, she'll stalk me.  When that doesn't phase me, she'll harass people associated with me and spread gossip.   She has also been known to recruit other people to do her dirty deeds. 

She's fairly dangerous.  She likes guns.  She's been known to harass my associates with them.  I fear for the people she comes into contact with. 

I truly believe that her and her brother are narcissists to an extreme.  They were both golden children who could do no wrong.  I feel for their brother.  He was the scapegoat.  I got in the doghouse with my mother-in-law because I gave him a car.  I guess it is against the rules to help the scapegoat. 

I'm not sure if this is why they harass me in public.  His family will literally visit me in groups, approach me and glare at me. They are like pack animals on the prowl.  It is insane.   The main actors on this stage are his retired uncle and aunt, his morbidly obese sister, his morbidly obese cousin, his father and his mother. 

Everyone else just kind of ignores them.   I'm beginning to think that the problem is a lack of jobs.  If we put these people to work they wouldn't have the time to annoy the heck out of me or anyone else. 

I've learned to live a quiet life.  I've learned to keep my personal information private.  I've learned to keep my phone numbers a secret, only sharing them with a select number of people.  I actually have public numbers that I use to forward calls to my cell phone.  That way when the harassment starts, I can block her. 

This only works when my ex cooperates with me.  His sister and mom know far too much about me, my whereabouts and what is going on in my life.  They've called the house and actually stated what I've done on certain days. 

I don't think the stalking is quite done. 

When does it ever end? 

I think I'm paranoid. 

I'm realizing, quite quickly, that my ex is in league with his family.   He must run to them with information about me and uses them to enforce his demands on me.  If I do not do exactly as he wants me to do, I find myself stalked and harassed by them. 

He worked for the city in which I ran for political office.  The city lawyers would call my house with the most obnoxious gossip about myself.  I honestly think he was triangulating with the people there. 

This year he took a new job with an old employer.  I've had his co-workers approach me about what they term my "adventures in government".  I don't know what he's telling them but I am not comfortable at all with it. 

They've told me that he's a bully.  Actually, I was asked how I could live with such an a-hole. 

I can't. 

I'm paranoid.  I don't answer the door anymore.  I don't answer the phone.  I'm terrified to go back into business for myself for fear another person will get harassed by people associated with my ex. 

I stopped talking to my male friends.  I've had to change all of my online passwords when a couple of them got nasty messages from someone claiming to be my husband using my accounts. 

He denies sending these messages. 

I believe he did.  

The most painful things are what he says during his ranting rages.  Let me give you a couple of examples.

"I get you pregnant so you can never leave me."

That's a nice way to ensure that one never gets to have sex again.   

"I want to take care of you so I meddle with your jobs." 

Then he'll try to convince me that he knows nothing about the stalking. 

"I need to protect you from [name of male friends or colleagues]."

Then he'll deny sending bizarre messages to them or stalking any of us.  Worse, he'll proceed to deny saying these things at all until he rages again. 

"I asked my cousin to track down [name of first love] to return everything he ever gave to you so you wouldn't have to think of him again."

This was a recent admission.  I had been told that he and his morbidly obese stalking cousin were not on speaking terms.  I guess this was not the case.  Apparently, he did this several years ago without my knowledge.  He was going through my artwork, journals and musical compositions in order to get a sense of what I could do.  He must've found my old friend's art.   It was wierd.  Back in '98, his cousin would call to report that she ran into my old flame at the supermarket and that he was married to a more curvy version of me. 

I was thrilled that he was married.  I didn't think too much of it at the time. 

Then my old flame's stuff started appearing all over the house.  Things that I thought were long gone would turn up in my bed, on the exercise equipment, and in the middle of the floor.  I found my daughter cutting up a handmade frame from a self-portrait my old friend made for me when we dated.  One Thanksgiving, I found a stuffed giraffe he gave me in the oven.  I would literally walk into my bedroom and find the giraffe hung with bedsheets, as though it were trying to commit suicide. 

At first I blamed my daughter.  Now, given the jealousy my estranged spouse admits to having for my former flame, I think he did those things. 

My first love came back to visit in '08.  I mailed all his pictures back.  I gave him back his artwork.  I wanted him to take his letters but he refused to take them.  They have since disappeared.  

I'm living with a crazy jealous guy. He's intrigued by voodoo.  Those things needed to go. 

And, worse, he says he has never spoken to my husband's obese cousin.  I hope she wasn't stalking them.  She lives two blocks away from my old flame's mother.  For the past several years, she's claimed to be dating a guy who I recently found out lives next door to my old flame's mother.  I wonder if she met him while stalking my ex. 

If so, perhaps she and her friend were too busy with each other to spy very much.

This is the trouble that insecure men can cause for other people. 

It is such a pain in the neck. 

Darn....if he's jealous that I still care about my old friend, maybe he shouldn't continue to be such a butt head towards me.   It's really hard to like a-holes. 



I have to find a way to get this guy out of my life completely.  I have to  hide everything I do from him in order to live a life on my own. 

I have to throw the guy in the garbage. 

I need to dump him and his obnoxious family.  This is taking far too much time to deal with. 

There is one thing that I've learned:

Don't let the trash drag you down.  

Oh, and if you are being stalked by a morbidly obese set of clowns....try to put on a show.  That is what I do. 

I entertain them. 

That way they have something extra interesting to gossip about. 

Love ya,

S.  

And, right now, as I write this blog entry, his cousin is leaving a message on our answering machine. This is a new number that is supposed to be private. 

She didn't threaten anything she said that she just wanted to 'talk at' us. 

So much for being estranged, eh?

The freaks come out at holidays. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

For me, everyday is unhappy turkey day.