Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for a vintage bass. So.... I found out that another bass player conservative activist was stealing from the homeless at Cherry Creek Reservoir.  I think it is with the help of a police officer. He tried to intimidate the homeless with a dog and stole their tents and heaters. I didn't believe the bassist's bragging story. I went out, in the snow, and found one of the victims and heard the correlate story. The man asked if I were an angel. I told the man that I was no one special -but- that I knew people who wanted to help him. Yes, numerous beautiful people want to help..... reporters.... activists... people who run charities.... and the like. It's snowing. It's cold. The man told me he is safe and gave me his phone number to share with people who will offer shelter and help him.  I gave him the numbers to people wanting to help him find a home. I tried calling the man....no answer. He's my age. He works full ti...

Today I thankful for anger . I thought that my last post would be the best ending for the blog.  The blog is a story.  We become stories after we die. I went to the funeral of a friend on Friday. I could talk about her death. I'm not ready to talk about her death.   She's going to be more than a story.  She's a legend. If she hadn't passed she'd be pissed as hell right now. Maybe she's still with me. Perhaps this beautiful angel led me to the reasons for my anger. ***** I have one hell of a to-do list tomorrow. So....long story short.... The local tea party that I was previously heavily involved in - IS HARASSING HOMELESS PEOPLE AND STEALING THEIR PROPERTY!!! They are publishing pictures and gleeful admissions of guilt online. My printer is going crazy.... if the police ignore this, I'm going to stare down our new city council at the study session tomorrow. They won't recognize me. I dyed my hair black. I didn't...

Today I am thankful for the city employee claiming he knew part of my story.  I tried very, very hard not to get snarky. I'm actually proud of myself. I didn't ask what part of my story he knew. Did he know the bit about my fighting tax hikes? Did he know the bit about the city attorney harassing me because I complained about ageism and illegal fines towards city employees? Or is he referring to my divorce? I don't know..... The only part of my story he knew was the bit about the washing machine .  He asked about it.  I told him because I thought is was relevant and funny. That was about an hour before he made the claim.  I don't even understand what brought it about. All it does is remind me that men are weird. ***** Typically when men say bizarre things it is because they are feeling bizarre things in response to bizarre energy. I was probably being creepy. He could probably sense that I thought he was adorable. He was possibly the fir...

Today I am thankful for clarity. This will be short.  I'm incredibly busy with school and working my jobs. I had to share this. About eleven years ago, the Tax Audit Supervisor for the City of Aurora stole $500 from my family. When I asked why she took the money, I was harassed on the phone. It went to court. In court, I was slandered and libeled to the hilt.  These people never met me.  They never knew of my activism (as it had all been in Denver and under my birth name). I still have binders full of print outs of court documents and online bs which named me. Why do I suddenly sound like Mitt Romney? Anyway, the Aurora leadership (city attorneys, city manager, city council)  carried on in such a fashion that I knew there was corruption and I set out to investigate it.  I would learn from a city council member that they were told to ignore my pleas for information. I figured out something was up when a city attorney called me and basically i...

Today I am thankful for the lessons my patients teach me. I apologize for not writing over the past few weeks.  I've been overwhelmingly busy between the two jobs and school. Even my beloved business is falling to the way side. I had a guy from high school warn me that I was at risk of becoming "dull" - as he put it - 'all work and no play make Jill a dull girl." There is a lot I can say about turning 50.  I meant to go bass guitar shopping but I wound up at a used record/book store from my youth.  I bought a bunch of occult books and pissed off the leftist cashier who bemoaned the Hobby Lobby and Chick Fil-A who have moved into the shopping center. I guess he thought I was a demoncrat due to the books I bought.  I don't remember everything I told the socialist - but I may not be welcome in that store again. The books I found were worth hundreds of dollars.  I picked up five of them for $63.  I'll probably keep them to explore.  There is a ...

Today I am thankful for finally seeing the truth.  Even though a former professor told me my ex was stalking me back in 2004.... even though an Aurora cop told me the same thing in 2012..... part of me has always held out hope that we were wrong. We are not. I found the definitive proof today. As you know, over the past 27 years and seven months, I have dealt with break-ins. My ex always blamed his sister. She allegedly died in 2015. The break-ins continued.  After her death, I became incredibly fearful because it didn't stop. Locks were consistently broken. I couldn't figure it out. My ex claimed it was his family. In 2013, he told me that he sent his sister a key and told her to come to the house any time.  Then he said he was kidding. I was terrified.  He didn't seem to want to solve the problem - he didn't do therapy.  He didn't want to move. Locks continued to be broken until I could afford to take him back to court to get him...

Today I am thankful for being old. The recent political hijinks at the office with the liberal therapist has me reflecting on politics and why I'm so mad. She allegedly yelled at a patient because he was watching the news.  Trump happened to be on the news. I will never understand someone letting their hate towards a politician impact them at work. No one is perfect -  but therapists should, at the very least, know enough to treat people with respect.  We should model respect for each other. The errant therapist ran into me with her head down.  She said hello but I could tell she was angry (possibly at me).  You know what?  Despite my disgust, I feel sorry for her. I was informed of her antics by two upset patients.  That makes me feel sad for everyone involved. I am well aware that advocating for the patients will probably get me in trouble.  I could lose that particular job because I passed on the information to the powers that be....

Today I am thankful that my ex's behavior confirms his NPD diagnosis. My stalkerish ex was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in 2012. Personally, I have had a very hard time believing it.  I even met with a psychiatrist buddy to discuss how stress (e.g. PTSD) can bring about narcissistic symptoms in people. Of course, my ex-husband stalked this shrink and I at the coffee shop. Even then, I had a very hard time believing it. I have often wondered what stress could have caused him to turn into a domestic abuser. He didn't start yelling until after our wedding in 1996.  That was when his family amped up their stalking and, in a couple of cases, physical violence. It was 1997 when they started impacting my jobs and schooling with their harassment. Deep down inside, I wanted to believe that his family was acting on their own without influence from my ex. Turns out - he was behind everything.  He'd lie to them and blame me for him not acting at ...

Today I am, yet again, thankful for documentation. I've had a couple of issues with my infrared camera system shutting itself off and on at night. Most of the time when it shuts itself off, I get a notification. I did not get a notification on Friday. My ex visited the house to pick up the girls on Friday. The girls claim that he rang the doorbell. There is NO video from any of the three cameras in my front yard of my house. There is NO video of any of them returning - the girls, their father - NOTHING. I usually get footage of bees several few times a day.  I didn't get one that evening. The videos strangely stop between 1523 and 23:30 that night when the eldest came home from a date. I'm just documenting this as I'm unsure what to make of it. All it does is cement in my mind that my ex was involved in the stalking and harassment. On the bright side, it would appear my ex is more technologically savvy that previously thought. My questions are ...

Never thought I'd say this -but- today I am thankful for DORA (Colorado's Regulatory Dept). I work in the mental health industry. I tire of hearing stories of conservatives harassed by leftist therapists. I am literally shocked at the sheer numbers of therapists and teachers who harass conservatives. These professionals typically go after strangers and coworkers. Today, I learned that a therapist allegedly went ballistic on a patient she thinks likes Donald Trump. I am livid. I'm no Trumpette.  I think Hillary should be wearing orange. I'm an equal opportunity hater and a porcupine at heart. I'm hoping the patient reports the therapist to the regulatory board for investigation.  Make no mistake, this event is not without damage.  It is a breech of trust and safety.  How can any therapist get a client to talk if he or she does not approach professional practice with unconditional positive regard? People are to be respected. All voices deserve ...

Yet again, today, I am thankful for documentation. This will be short and sweet.  I hope. I have absolutely no idea what is going on. One of my camera systems has ceased to function.  It no longer records video, it only records audio now. The other wifi camera system has gone offline twice now. It went offline within the same 24 hour period. This is the night vision camera system. About 1730 on Wednesday, it went offline for ten minutes.   That night, about 2000, my daughter texted me that she saw an orange light shining in the living room window. She went outside to investigate and saw that it emanated from a planter outside the house.  I actually have footage of her walking towards a bright light in the planter.  She touches the dirt and the light fades a bit but it is still there. Shortly afterwards, I see her walking towards the front door. She had two friends with her. Twenty-three minutes later, the camera system goes offline again....

Today I am thankful for my four security cameras. I think I found out how the visual footage is hard to see at times. When I come home in the dark, I can see my face, my car and even my license plate in the front security cameras. When the neighborhood cat comes to call in the wee hours of the morning, I can see him with the back yard cameras - but, last night I couldn't see the person who stood breathing in my front yard. All I could see were two lights. This happened twice; once at 0036 (again) and 0536. I suspect whoever is doing this has OCD...I mean, the times are eerily similar. I saved the footage. I'm an artist, so I'll take it to the various video editing programs I have to see if I can get an outline of the person's face. At least my former life as a YouTube content creator has taught me a few life hacks! This is Wednesday. My ex's family always had a penchant for harassing me on Wednesdays (especially in the wee hours of the mornin...

Today I am thankful that we have four security cameras trained on the front yard. This evening, my ex stopped by for his visit with the kids. It's a little sad.  He's gained some more weight and lost his hair.  He walks with a slight limp. He knocked on the door, looked up and stepped back. I watched the footage in real-time. The youngest came out of the house and my ex's hand pointed upwards while he asked, "Can you see me with that camera?" She responded, "Yes.", while looking into the camera. Yes, I can see you.  I can see anyone that comes to the door. I saw the bald guy who messed around the ladder leading to the roof on Wednesday.  I'm not sure who he is but he looks a heck of a lot like the guy who nearly hit me head on in the street while pretending to be with Ameriprise Insurance .  Ameriprise investigated the incident and told me to call the cops.  To this day, I can't fathom why anyone thinks my ex owns my home. Not...

Today I am thankful for having four video cameras and two security systems.  They pick up the darndest things.... One of my security systems pipes movement in my yard to my phone at work. This morning, around 9:30, there streamed an image of my gun-toting neighbor putting his cell phone on my porch and walking away. He comes back three minutes later to retrieve it. I watched this unfold live from the office. My colleagues said that it was strange. My co-workers told me to be careful. My daughter freaked out upon seeing the footage. I'm feeling lost.... what harm can a four minute recording do? I'll call my PAR officer tomorrow. This was the last thing I expected to see. I have another camera that records the entire front yard to a 38GB storage card.  I'll pull that in the morning to see what in the world this guy finds interesting. One of the renters had a house guest who parked in front of my house on Monday.  He was so afraid of upsetting the...

Today I am thankful for YouTube videos. So.... everyone knows I have a master's in psychology.  My focus of interest is Health Psychology.  I currently work with addicts. I had to put a stop to my career for many years due to harassment and stalking on the part of my ex-husband's family.  It's a long, drawn out story.  Sad to say, I believed for most of the my adult life that my ex had nothing to do with the stalking.  He claimed he never spoke to his family. One sunny day in 2013, he admitted to speaking to his cousin on a daily basis, telling her a whereabouts and sending a house key to his sister. That explains how they found me.  This isn't going into the tracker on my mini-van and phones. In fact, my phone stopped working about two weeks ago after months of being unable to hold a charge.  I suspect either a virus or spyware. It's looking like I'm going to need a new laptop, too. A few days ago, I bought a new phone which mo...

Today I am thankful for my labradoodle.  As I'm spinning around, I'm going to make this short and sweet.  It'll be incredibly boring to read. Saturday morning (07/13) around 2:30am, the little doggo ran out of my room, down the stairs, and into the dining area barking and growling. It took me several minutes to get down the stairs due to my having vertigo (that spinnery, creepy sensation of riding vomit inducing rides with the convenience of not having to visit the amusement park). When I finally made it downstairs, I couldn't see anyone outside of the house.  It took me about ten minutes to make it down the stairs. **** The next morning, I noticed that someone had put a dent on the bottom third in my brand new back door (I may take a picture and post it).  There was also a shoe print on the back door. **** I checked my Facebook account and learned that someone using my identity had tried to friend a relative. **** If I can stop spinning enough to s...

Today I am thankful that I understand my ex's motivation to stalk. At least I think I understand.  I could be wrong. He wants to portray me as crazy. I think he (or his family) is harassing me due to my requesting a court hearing to review child support and to come up with a visitation plan he will like. The reason I say this is because whenever I ask anything of my ex, he brings up the stalking, calls me a liar and insinuates that I am crazy. ***** He knows how his family behaves. He knows that his sister stalks other people.  He knows that his relatives all act like a group stalking legion to annoy people they don't like. Yet I'm the liar. ***** I think he will try to use this as an ace in the hole to shut me down during the court hearing. It will probably backfire on him, though. ***** I learned from the city that the cops have not been to my home more than twice (the two times I called them - one over a neighbor parking on top some mulch I h...

Today I am thankful that people are noticing that I've given away a lot of the crap in my house. My ex was a horder. Throughout the marriage, I felt ugly so I started hording dresses and shoes. So far, I've had four visits from numerous charities to pick up donations and made countless vehicle trips to a couple of my favorite charities. There is still far too much junk.  I haven't even started going through the dresses and shoes. Oh my..... back in the day, when my elderly neighbor needed cash, he'd take something I didn't want and pawn it off. I think I'm getting down to the stuff no one wants - he's now asking for money. Sigh.... ***** I've spent the day bolstering up the security on the house, talking to lawyers and wondering how in the hell this shit hasn't stopped yet. You'd be proud of me - I still haven't used my graveyard dirt or lit a candle. I'm proud of me. I even ignored my Psalm ju...

Today I am thankful for intuition. Right now, I'm realizing that things are ramping up. In the past, whenever I wasn't perceived as a "good", "quiet", "subservient", "girl", I would up being stalked. Typically, the harassment begins in clusters.  Much of it is not illegal but the scary stuff is. In the past six months, my ex has decided to visit the kids (hooray), but used setting up the visits as a means to emotionally abuse me by calling me every name in the book and state that I'm lying about the stalking I've endured from his family since 1992 (boo), now, he's messing around with visitation times.  This I predicted.  I feared being open and allowing for frequent changes to the visitation times because it would eventually lead to a situation where we are waiting around for him to show up EVERY weekend (even those times and weeks he's unscheduled to visit). I've been a bit of a stick in the mud and ...