Living in a Junkyard

Today I am thankful that people are noticing that I've given away a lot of the crap in my house.

My ex was a horder.

Throughout the marriage, I felt ugly so I started hording dresses and shoes.

So far, I've had four visits from numerous charities to pick up donations and made countless vehicle trips to a couple of my favorite charities.

There is still far too much junk. I haven't even started going through the dresses and shoes.

Oh my.....

back in the day, when my elderly neighbor needed cash, he'd take something I didn't want and pawn it off.

I think I'm getting down to the stuff no one wants - he's now asking for money.

Sigh....

*****
I've spent the day bolstering up the security on the house, talking to lawyers and wondering how in the hell this shit hasn't stopped yet.

You'd be proud of me - I still haven't used my graveyard dirt or lit a candle.

I'm proud of me.

I even ignored my Psalm justifications. There are Biblical verses that act as curses. I could simply read the Bible out loud to curse the shit out of my stalker.

I didn't. Well, part of it is that a childhood friend gave me my Bible and I don't think he'd approve of it's misuse.

In my real life, I work for a religious organization. We hand out Bibles daily.

Maybe I'm starting to be less of a freaked out asshole. If I can refrain from being scared, I can refrain from scaring assholes away from me.

I need to get the junk out of my house and keep the junk out of my soul.

Wish me luck.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S. P.S. There will be a new website.

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