Skip to main content

My G Rating


Today I am thankful for my 'G-Rating.



Yeah.....I've been told that I have the aura of a good girl. 

I guess I look kinda innocent. 

I have this crazy, religious, good girl glow. 

I was once told that I have the look of someone with a g-rating.

Hmmmmm........
I have been trying to raise my rating to NC-17.


No matter what I do, I cannot lose that innocent good girl glow. 



Why is that? 



I truly do not know

I can try to make an educated guess. 

I am Pagan. 
I worship Dionysus, Aphrodite, and Eros. 

These are the gods of beauty, sex, eroticism, passion, and love.

Sex is worship. 

Indulging a fantasy is worship. 

Ignoring it is a sin. 



If I find someone I desire, I can worship him.  In effect, my idea of worship is making him an altar to a God of love.  I worship my Gods by pleasing the one chosen for me. 

The problem is when the man isn't up for the fun. 
Actually, that's not accurate.

He gets up. 

Life gets in the way.

That's my fault. 
It's more accurate to say that my past won't move on and out.  It's hard to feel sexy when the reason for seven years of celibacy asks his ex-wife where she is going at night. 


Sigh....


I am also afraid that if I let my freak flag fly, I'd scare my intended (so much so that he gives up on sex entirely....this did happen to me in my last relationship...)

I don't want to scare another man. 


I used to think I was a sex addict but I had seven years of celibacy to prove that I can live without it. 

I don't think I can do that much longer.

Here is the deal.

The more I fantasize, fuck, tease and play,

The more I worship,

The more religious I feel,

The more I look like I have a G-rating. 

With all this in mind, I have decided to get myself a tattoo. 

I want to get the word "shhhhh" tattooed on the inner side of my left index finger in such a way that should I motion for someone to keep a secret, they'll see the "shhhhh."

Why? 

Well....you see....that I am one of these people who could potentially host an orgy and do all manner of crazy things and I'd still look innocent. 

I could have an artsy glory wall, or decorate the walls in chains fashioned to look like spider webs to tie men up on so ladies can play with 'em....
I could do all manner of these things....

and NO ONE would believe me. 



I wouldn't do that anyway because I'm too stupid to cater to more than one guy at a time. 

I wouldn't be able to keep their fantasies, desires, needs, and ticklish zones separate.



I am saying that I COULD act like a whore and


NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE ME. 



I secretly hope that other people would be far too busy having their own fun so much that they really and truly would not care, which is really one big perk to getting older.


People may as well keep the secret because NO ONE would believe them.  Why waste their breath??



Let me try this. 

It'll be fun! 



Love ya,


S.



Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S.  P.S. There will be a new website.