Skip to main content

My G Rating


Today I am thankful for my 'G-Rating.



Yeah.....I've been told that I have the aura of a good girl. 

I guess I look kinda innocent. 

I have this crazy, religious, good girl glow. 

I was once told that I have the look of someone with a g-rating.

Hmmmmm........
I have been trying to raise my rating to NC-17.


No matter what I do, I cannot lose that innocent good girl glow. 



Why is that? 



I truly do not know. 

I can try to make an educated guess. 

I am Pagan. 
I worship Dionysus, Aphrodite, and Eros. 

These are the gods of beauty, sex, eroticism, passion, and love.

Sex is worship. 

Indulging a fantasy is worship. 

Ignoring it is a sin. 



If I find someone I desire, I can worship him.  In effect, my idea of worship is making him an altar to a God of love.  I worship my Gods by pleasing the one chosen for me. 

The problem is when the man isn't up for the fun. 
Actually, that's not accurate.

He gets up. 

Life gets in the way.

That's my fault. 
It's more accurate to say that my past won't move on and out.  It's hard to feel sexy when the reason for seven years of celibacy asks his ex-wife where she is going at night. 


Sigh....


I am also afraid that if I let my freak flag fly, I'd scare my intended (so much so that he gives up on sex entirely....this did happen to me in my last relationship...)

I don't want to scare another man. 


I used to think I was a sex addict but I had seven years of celibacy to prove that I can live without it. 

I don't think I can do that much longer.

Here is the deal.

The more I fantasize, fuck, tease and play,

The more I worship,

The more religious I feel,

The more I look like I have a G-rating. 

With all this in mind, I have decided to get myself a tattoo. 

I want to get the word "shhhhh" tattooed on the inner side of my left index finger in such a way that should I motion for someone to keep a secret, they'll see the "shhhhh."

Why? 

Well....you see....that I am one of these people who could potentially host an orgy and do all manner of crazy things and I'd still look innocent. 

I could have an artsy glory wall, or decorate the walls in chains fashioned to look like spider webs to tie men up on so ladies can play with 'em....
I could do all manner of these things....

and NO ONE would believe me. 



I wouldn't do that anyway because I'm too stupid to cater to more than one guy at a time. 

I wouldn't be able to keep their fantasies, desires, needs, and ticklish zones separate.



I am saying that I COULD act like a whore and


NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE ME. 



I secretly hope that other people would be far too busy having their own fun so much that they really and truly would not care, which is really one big perk to getting older.


People may as well keep the secret because NO ONE would believe them.  Why waste their breath??



Let me try this. 

It'll be fun! 



Love ya,


S.



Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse.   I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different.  For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship.  I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on.  I blamed myself. It doesn't matter.  It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago.  Yes, he says that he knows what he did.  Yes, he said most men know the games they play.  Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating.  It's painful.  It's validating.  I know what my problems are.  I always do my best to see the best in other people.  I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.  My issue?  Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't.  I'm st...
Read more

Covid (Edited)

Today I am thankful for unorganized conspiracies: It makes it easier to identify them. Politicians are going to label anyone calling bullshit on the Covid lockdowns a Conspiracy Theorist.   I have a saying; " Conspiracies happen all the time; it's only a theory until it's proven."  This one is easy to prove.  It's obvious that the powers that be threw a lot of shit at a wall to see what would stick.  They're trying to inundate us with useless information and financial pressure to wear us down. That doesn't work on the indominable American spirit. ***** Let's work backwards. The CDC is now lumping flu, pneumonia and Covid19 deaths in one number.  Get this....the numbers have been declining for the past 11 weeks! https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/covid-data/covidview/index.html We are now below pandemic levels. Tell me why Governor Polis and his merry band of naked Democrat Emperors are pushing masks and pushing more lo...
Read more