Today I am thankful for my 'G-Rating.
Yeah.....I've been told that I have the aura of a good girl.
I guess I look kinda innocent.
I have this crazy, religious, good girl glow.
I was once told that I have the look of someone with a g-rating.
Hmmmmm........
I have been trying to raise my rating to NC-17.
No matter what I do, I cannot lose that innocent good girl glow.
Why is that?
I truly do not know.
I can try to make an educated guess.
I am Pagan.
I worship Dionysus, Aphrodite, and Eros.
These are the gods of beauty, sex, eroticism, passion, and love.
Sex is worship.
Indulging a fantasy is worship.
Ignoring it is a sin.
If I find someone I desire, I can worship him. In effect, my idea of worship is making him an altar to a God of love. I worship my Gods by pleasing the one chosen for me.
The problem is when the man isn't up for the fun.
Actually, that's not accurate.
He gets up.
Life gets in the way.
That's my fault.
It's more accurate to say that my past won't move on and out. It's hard to feel sexy when the reason for seven years of celibacy asks his ex-wife where she is going at night.
Sigh....
I am also afraid that if I let my freak flag fly, I'd scare my intended (so much so that he gives up on sex entirely....this did happen to me in my last relationship...)
I don't want to scare another man.
I used to think I was a sex addict but I had seven years of celibacy to prove that I can live without it.
I don't think I can do that much longer.
Here is the deal.
The more I fantasize, fuck, tease and play,
The more I worship,
The more religious I feel,
The more I look like I have a G-rating.
With all this in mind, I have decided to get myself a tattoo.
I want to get the word "shhhhh" tattooed on the inner side of my left index finger in such a way that should I motion for someone to keep a secret, they'll see the "shhhhh."
Why?
Well....you see....that I am one of these people who could potentially host an orgy and do all manner of crazy things and I'd still look innocent.
I could have an artsy glory wall, or decorate the walls in chains fashioned to look like spider webs to tie men up on so ladies can play with 'em....
I could do all manner of these things....
and NO ONE would believe me.
I wouldn't do that anyway because I'm too stupid to cater to more than one guy at a time.
I wouldn't be able to keep their fantasies, desires, needs, and ticklish zones separate.
I am saying that I COULD act like a whore and
NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE ME.
I secretly hope that other people would be far too busy having their own fun so much that they really and truly would not care, which is really one big perk to getting older.
People may as well keep the secret because NO ONE would believe them. Why waste their breath??
Let me try this.
It'll be fun!
Love ya,
S.