Intuition

Today I am thankful for my intuition.

 

 

I have to tell you....

 

 

I am not in a safe place right now. 

 

 

In fact, I fear for my life more than ever. 

 

 

I don't know if I have time to explain but I'll try. 

 

 

My ex-husband still lives here. 

 

He was supposed to move out in mid-October. 

 

I was to receive $28K to live on and get back on my feet. 

I signed away alimony due to the settlement.  The judge waived that agreement and said I had two years to ask for the money. 

I may do that.  I don't want to because I am afraid of what would happen. 

 

My ex is raiding my portion of the divorce settlement.  It is down 50% from where it was the day I filed.  It is down 33% from the day he was supposed to sign it over to me. 

He still hasn't signed it over to me.   

 

A week before we divorced, I signed my first client.  He claimed to have needed my mini-van that day.  

 

On the day we divorced and I was given the mini-van, he claimed his sports car had to go to the junkyard.  He wants the van.  I didn't learn this until the divorce was granted and after he was supposed to sign the title over to me.

I said he could have the van so he doesn't lose his job. 

 

I can see needing it to drive to work but now.....now he says he needs it to use as a trade in for a new car. 

 

Why?  It runs.  It's mine.  I'll let him have it if he needs it for his job but if he doesn't, I want it back. 

 

I bought it with money I borrowed.  I have never paid the loan back. 

We have a sixteen year old daughter who could use a decent car. 

 

I have spent the past week dealing with the fallout from his transportation issues.  I bought a crap car, so he could have my van.  He promised to help me put on a decent tire and fix a couple of issues with it.

 

It sounded like a fair trade. 

 

He won't keep his promise. 

 

The crap car is running....like crap. 

I think I'm being manipulated!

If you give someone something you need thinking it is in everyone's best interest and you find out that they lied to you about why they needed it, can you take it back? 

Is that wrong? 

Goodness, I am so darn confused!

 

*****

 

He keeps telling me that he wants me back.  He keeps talking about how my boyfriend, Steve, has everything he wants. 

 

There is something about how he paces back and forth like a caged animal when he's talking to me that is scaring the holy heck out of me.

 

If you follow this blog, you know that I'm being stalked by his sister.  He never really allowed me to have a relationship with her.  When he confronts her, I'm not allowed to be there. 

 

I doubt he ever really confronts her. 

 

Various family members of his have harassed me in the street; his maternal uncle, his gay paternal uncle, his brother-in-law, his cousin, and his sister. 

 

Some of his family members have harassed me on the phone; both of his maternal aunts, two cousins and his mother.

 

I have to wonder why.

 

They have to be doing this for him. 

 

I can't have lunch with male colleagues without having his sister watch me. 

 

Not to mention that 69K (maybe more now) of our retirement funds went missing.

 

He took twelve thousand in the past six months.  I have no clue what is in his accounts.  He won't tell me. 

 

I'm really getting afraid. 

 

I don't know if I should kick him out of the house -or- let him stay. 

 

Today I had the distinct feeling that I am probably unsafe seeing my boyfriend anymore. 

 

It sounds tough -but- the trigger is my presence around other men. 

 

I am probably safer letting my ex stay in the house. 

 

Today, while trying to talk to him about what happens next, he started acting weird.  It was like he was going on and on about how he wants me but it's not going to happen, how Steve has my heart, and that this isn't what he wants.

 

There is just something in the air that is freaking me out. 

 

Mike has to be my stalker.  His sister and other family members are helping him. 

 

It is the only thing that makes sense. 

 

It would explain why he doesn't confront them while I am around. 

 

It would explain why he never had them served with the cease and desist letter.

 

It would explain how they know where I will be at any given time. 

 

It would also explain why I caught him sitting in my mini-van outside of some of my classes. 

 

I'm scared. 

 

Maybe I have to let the bully win in order to keep the kids and myself safe. 

 

Damn....

 

I could break out the black candles but that never ends well. 

 

I'll think about it. 

 

Love ya,

 

S.