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Celibacy

Today I am thankful for the lessons I learned from the most recent relationship fiasco.

Celibacy rocks! 

I will never again bitch about sleeping alone. 

I have a new appreciation for my former sexless marital life.

Celibacy means never sorting out another person's mind games. 

It means I don't have to worry about expensive estrogen pills that make me sick...

or trying not to snore in the middle of the night. 

Celibacy means not sucking down simethicone tablets so one doesn't fart while being plowed. 

Celibacy means not worrying about lustful north migration and bumping heads on the headboard.

Celibacy means not worrying about the garlic one ate at dinner,

whether or not the hair is trimmed short,

whether the legs or smooth,

or if you have spare underwear in the glove compartment.

Ah, maybe my life isn't so bad after all. 

It's all good! 

I guess the trick is finding someone who is worth the estrogen, the simethicone, and the Nair. 

Love,

S.

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