Today I am thankful that I have an ornery plan.
If you read my blogs, you know that I am being stalked by my in-laws. I'm not sure when they are considered my former in-laws. I haven't willingly spoken to any of them since 1998.
The cops say my ex is putting them up to it.
My ex says they are doing it on their own so he doesn't care about it. This is why I kicked him to the curb. If your sister is following your spouse around while you sit on your hairy ass and do nothing...it is YOUR PROBLEM.
I'm pissed.
My in-laws will follow me around and menace me. They say things like "You bitch! You won't let my brother [insert crazy demand for money or time here]......"
-or-
"You bitch! You won't give my brother his mail and he missed my [insert family event or intervention session here]....."
I do give him his mail. I think he just chooses to ignore it. If they were nice to him, I bet he'd give them a forwarding address.
My former in-laws like to harass me on the street and call me Satan. That's not an issue.
The issue is when they go to third parties and start lying their asses off. They'll go to my bosses, my colleagues, my neighbors, professors and anyone they can and tell them that I've got plans to either shoot my friends, spy on my friends, harass my friend or so on.
That game only worked once. They convinced a mentally ill neighbor that I was spying on him.
That was sad. He got so paranoid, he lost his job and his home.
By the time I knew what had happened it was too late. He was complaining that my fat sister was harassing him.
I.....don't....have....a....fat....sister!
My sister in law, Shannon, she topped 500 pounds. I was excited for her the day I saw her on Good Morning America touting her 300 pound weight loss.
I wonder how much of that she lost following me around.
Sigh....
Maybe next time, she'll shout diet tips at me and I'll shout back my appreciation. If it works, I guess I can throw Starbucks gift cards at her in appreciation. The last time I saw her, she was watching me inside of a Starbucks.
Other than the stalking incidents, I don't talk to them anymore.
I do, however, talk to my brother-in-law's bill collectors - several times a day!!!!
It would seem that William and his wife Kelly have used me as a reference. That is weird because I haven't spoken to them since 2005ish when William followed me around a Pagan Fair blaming me because his brother didn't show up to an event.
I have spent the entire morning trying to make ONE fifteen minute vocal recording. The phone keeps ringing. I had to turn the ringer off.
Each time, it has been one of William's bill collectors.
This is what I'm gonna do.
I am going to arrange a meeting with the bill collectors and my stalkers.
I am going to invite the bill collection agent (or an agent of his in town) out for coffee.
I am going to post my whereabouts online.
I will point them to the direction of either Shannon or William.
Perhaps this will put a stop to the stalking.
If that doesn't work, the Private Investigator I hired to reveal the identity of my stalkers managed to gave me their cell phone numbers. I'll just give those to the bill collectors. That will me the act of last resort.
If I ever see Shannon, Doug, William, Kelly, John C., Rhonda, or any number of those former in-law jokers again.....I'm giving their cell phone numbers to the creditors. They are blood relatives. I'm a stalking survivor. I don't know how to locate William. He and his sister sure know how to locate me!!!
I hope this is the last time I ever see them watching me slurp tea.
Love ya,
S.