NPD Communication

Today I am thankful that I am finally understanding NPD Communication strategies. 
 

They triangulate!!!  In other words, they communicate through third parties.

I don't like the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) label.  I am a trained psycho-therapist and it is fairly vague.  It only describes a certain subset of behaviors.  

My ex was diagnosed with NPD. 

He has to control everything!!! 

He is always the victim!!! 

 

I'm being stalked by members of his family but haven't seen any of them following me around in a little over two weeks.  I'm silently cheering. 

 

My ex will tell me that he is a victim of his sister. 

 

That's weird. 

 

 

I still can't figure out how she knows where I am and what I am doing. 

 

My ex must be telling her. 

 

My ex was supposed to move out on October 21st.  I politely gave him until November 1. 

He was supposed to help me fix my van in exchange for me signing an alimony waiver and giving him the newer car. 

 

He's still here. 

 

He is still driving my ratty old unrepaired mini-van. 

 

He is living off of the IRA he promised to give me in the separation agreement.  I do not have access to the account. 

 

I'm still being stalked (at least, as of two weeks ago). 

 

Sigh....

 

Yesterday, I let him accompany me while Christmas shopping. 

 

That was a BIG mistake!! 

He ran around talking about how he needed nothing, because he had nothing, because I took it all away. 

 

He slept apart from me off and on since 2001. 

 

He has physically left me three times since 2001. 

 

Around 2002, he started telling me that we were in a 'fake marriage' and that divorce was imminent, so he didn't have to talk to me...

 

We've been in a sexless marriage since 2008.   

 

What pisses me off is that he...... HE IS THE VICTIM!!!! 

 

HE DIDN'T SEE THE DIVORCE COMING!!! 

 

Oh, my goodness!!! 

 

I'm upset. 

 

He wants me back. 

 

Now, at this point, it is obvious that I have a new love.  I spend the weekends with him.  I smell like his cologne and that ought to be enough to express that I am not able to continue in a relationship with my ex. 

 

Do I dare go into details?  Ladies don't do that. 

Do I say that Aerosmith did a song about Steve? 

Sigh.....

I'm intimidated by my boyfriend's physiology.  I don't know what to think about that. 

 

I really don't know.

How does one go back to an abuser one perceives to be tiny? 

Again...it's probably just perception. 

The kinder a guy is the better he is in bed. 

So....who knows? 

Who cares? 

It's no secret. 

Why am I worried? 

*****

 

It gets worse. 

 

I am trying to start re-start my business.  I can make good money in my business. 

 

However, I need to be stalk free.  I need access to money. 

 

I do not have these things yet. 

 

I am working on it.  I have an office.  I do custom voice-over work for others in the field.  I am working on it. 

 

My ex wants to be in control of my money. 

 

He wants me to get an office job somewhere. 

 

He wants to know where I work. 

 

I'm looking at Christmas presents in a department store and my ex turns to me and says, "Did you tell your boyfriend that I'll move out the day you get a real job?"
Should I?

 

Why? 

 

My ex wants my boyfriend to find me a job. 

He wants to use me to communicate with Steve. 

It seems like they should just meet. 

*****

My ex (Mike) wants my best friend (Steve) to find me a job. 

I'd laugh but it hurts too much. 
 

I can just as easily go down to the local drug and alcohol counseling center and get one myself - if the owner doesn't realize that I'm the politician who threatened to shut him down because he lets his male clients rape the female clients.  Then he blames the alcohol!!!!  You know, his clients were drunk and had lower inhibitions, so it's not his fault they f*ck:  It's NOT LIKE keeping drunk men and women separated is the detox centers responsibility or anything.  UGH!!!!  If a client tells the police she's been raped, the city attorney has false charges filed against the rape victims. 

This drug and alcohol center is heavily supported by the city government.  They get their clients from the police department. 

They need to get out of my town!  I'll find a way to do that.  

I'll find a way after my life settles down. 

With regard to my job search, my issue is my celebrity.  I have to be careful about the jobs I seek now. 

 

Maybe something in PR? 

I don't know. 

 

 

*****

 

I'm wondering if I should invite my boyfriend into my world a little more.   Maybe if Steve were real to Mike, he'd leave me alone. 

 

I don't know. 

 

I don't like the triangulation thingy. 

 

Maybe the local McDonalds will give me a job. 

 

I could volunteer for a tax activist.  That's a job!! 

 

Sigh....

 

I betcha if I found a job, my ex would have a new reason to stay. 

 

I'm in pain. 

 

I wish I new what to do. 

*****

You know what's funny?  One day my boyfriend jumped on me and tried to kiss me.  I was annoyed and not expecting it.  I called him "Mike"! 

At least I get his name right when it counts. 

That's a bad sign, isn't it?  If I call you Mike and that's not your name, BACK OFF!!!  

 

I'm off to see a shrink.  This is weird. 

 

 

Love ya,

 

S. 

Edit Later that day:

So, I went to the shrink's office. 

Me shrieking when people sneak up on me and calling them the name of my ex is a symptom of my PTSD. 

My shrink liked the idea that I got talking to Steve about taking Yoga classes to get rid of the anxiety. 

That helped a lot. 

I felt confident that I could get my life back. 

All I had to do was stay positive, embrace the changes in my life, and things would fall into place. 

Mike would move on. 

I could be with my best friend. 

All would be well. 

I came home to find my ex calling to check up on me.

What the hell? 

He's never leaving, is he? 

Now I find myself depressed and sad. 

I think I know why he wants me to stay in this house. 

I think I know why he won't leave until he knows where I work. 

I'm sad.

 I hate my life right now because I don't see a way out.   

I really don't. 

I can have all the court orders in the world but there is nothing on the planet that will make my ex follow them. 

Sigh...