Skip to main content

B!tchy Witchy

Today I am thankful for being a b!tch. 

I made two executive decisions. 

First, I'm going to do everything in my power to avoid talking to my ex.  He's insane.  He's confusing.  When he talks to me, I run for chocolate.  I've gained 7 pounds dealing with him over the past two months. 

So...I'm going to take no more shit from him.

I'm going take a portion of the $5,000 my ex stole from the IRA I received in my divorce settlement package to fix my teeth and advertise my business.   I don't know how much is left.  I'll just take it out of the bank in $350 increments until it is gone. 

I'll do what I can to increase my business while I can. 

I have a lot of great mentors.  They'll teach me how to use my skill and charm to make money.

I'm also going to get the kids to the orthodontist and make the down payments on their dental work if the funds are still there. 

Because the City of A*rora is hounding my ex over a $150 fine and it makes him cranky and makes me have to deal with him, I'll probably fund that out of that money, too.  It would be nice if my ex would take some responsibility for his garbage. 

And if the city tacks on fees, I will be livid.  Ms. Musician made a recording of the City Clerk telling me they would do no such thing.  The Clerk lied when she said her letter detailed the fine (it didn't).  If she lies again, I will feel even more motivated to re-post my HarassNoMore page! 

I haven't even uploaded all my dirt on the Mayor and members of the City Council yet!  I was waiting for the divorce to be final.  The City Attorney asked my ex to promise that Mrs. Smith wouldn't post a damn thing.  Well, you know what?  Ms. Smith WILL and she'll enjoy every flippin' moment of it!

None of the dirt is personal.  It is just a collection of abusive emails that I received from various politicians and city employees. 

I'm going to curse the check I make out to the City Clerk and the check I make out to the Sherriff.  If you want to annoy the hell out of a witch at Christmas, I promise you that your days will be much less merry and much more dreary.

And you know what?  The mayor has inspired me to buy myself a State Union of Taxpayers membership for Christmas, so I can keep up on the tax hiking creeps that are making my life miserable. 

Yes, I desire the ability to give as good as I get when it comes to creepy politicians.  That's all I truly want.  I want to annoy my harassers to the point that they decide it is better for them to leave me the hell alone!
 

If Mr. Smith gets too cranky, I'm buying myself a new gun.
 
*****

I had some dental work done this morning.  I cannot talk.  I look like a chipmunk.  My face is still numb and swollen.  I have a fat lip.  I haven't been hit.  My Angelina Jolie lips are due to my sparkly new crowns. 

The entire few days have been crazy.  The weather is currently eight degrees below zero.  Every time I breathe, my teeth ache.  I may have to go back to the dentist in the morning. 

*****
 
I've been trying to spend more time corresponding with kind and loving people than with people who drive me insane. 

I wanted to promote a friend's pages online.  She has an anti-stalking page. 

She asked me to promote it online.  I did. 

My ex promoted it too!!! 

The cops say he's stalking me.  I have caught him on a few occasions.  His sister shows up to events that he knows about.  He's got to have something to do with it. 

He denies it.  It drives me crazy.  This is one reason I cannot speak to him anymore.

Do you know how weird it is for one's stalker to promote every single thing I promote?

Ugh!!! 

*****
I am trying to give more time to my love than my ex. 

It is a darn difficult thing to do with my ex living here and all. 

I am beginning to feel incredibly depressed by my ex's presence.  I am hurt by the constant string of lies.  I fear what will happen the moment I go back to work. 

I never know what is going on.  I don't know if he'll do his part of the parenting plan.  I generally wind up making myself available to do the things he promised to do due to his lack of consistency. 

I am realizing that I am becoming very depressed about it. 

I am having a tough time leaving the house again. 

My ex tantrums every time I spend time with my love. 

I can't stand that. 

This is hurting me deeply. 

This is why I have panic attacks. 

I am beginning to have them again. 

*****

I'm checking in.  I'm okay. 

My life is beginning to feel quite surreal. 

I hope it gets better from here. 

Love,

S. 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...
Read more

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP a...
Read more