When His Lies Become The Truth

Today I am thankful that I noticed how my ex's lies become the truth. 

I'm not happy about it. 

Frankly, it makes me sick to my stomach. 

It doesn't matter what the reality is.....it is what a dysfunctional person thinks it is. 

Maybe understanding how that happens can help me create the reality that I want. 

*****

I miss my love. 

I was having withdrawals, so I invited myself out to lunch with him. 

At noon, I met him at a coffee shop across the street from my office. 

He bought me hibiscus tea, with little flowers and fruit bits in it. 

It was yummy -but- truth be told, I was there for the company. 

As we sat at a table chatting, a woman was standing at the door. 

This woman looked just like my ex's sister.  Her name is Shannon. 

Shannon was 589 pounds, according to news reports.  She lost 300 of it over the past three years. 

That makes her nearly 300 pounds. She is tall (6') has straight blond hair, blue eyes, bad teeth, nice skin, and walks like a man.  I mean, she literally walks like a man.  She takes big steps.  She sits with her legs spread apart.  She has the mannerisms of a guy. 

This woman entered the coffee shop sat behind my love, directly facing me.  I didn't really think too much about it.*  

Yes....at first, I was a little shaken but I wasn't sure that it was her.  I only see her once in a blue moon when I catch her following me, harassing people I know, or trying to break into my house.  I only hear her voice when she calls her to gloat (e.g. the day the GPS box was removed from my car).   I haven't willingly spoken to Shannon since 1998!! 

Her weight fluctuates so much that I never recognize her.  I usually find out later that she was the one bugging me.  She brags about it!!  That is how I know she is the stalker.  She will brag to everyone about it. 

Yesterday, at the coffee shop, I noticed this woman staring.  I kept focusing on my love. 

I touched my love's arm and told him that I missed him.  As I looked up to meet his eyes, I noticed this woman's fierce gaze. 

I shifted my chair. 

My love turned around, looked at her and asked me if I was okay. 

I lied and said that I was okay. 

Then I told him about the stalking. 

I told him about Shannon, her brother, her fiance, her uncle and all of my ex's relatives that follow me.  I told him that they tend to have certain days that they harass me.  I told him that I wished they'd just tell me what the hell they wanted.  I told him that I am oblivious to it unless someone else points it out or the stalkers engaged me.

The woman at the coffee shop did not engage me.   

She just stared.

She didn't follow my love or I when we left. 

I don't know if that was Shannon at all.  Without hearing her voice, I cannot be sure. 

I'll know if she brags about it and calls my ex to tell him that I'm "cheating" on him.  Shannon likes to exaggerate stories, so it'll probably be something about me sitting on top of my friend naked cumming in front of God and everybody. 

I need to start taping the stories, maybe I could write a best selling novel!! 

On the bright side, my love was with me. 

I felt safe. 

I guess I was.

*****

 

My neighbor confronted me because I have yet to kick my ex to the curb. 

 

I told him that I agreed to let him stay until the final hearing.  I told him that he had requested that the final hearing be made after the first of the year to save him money on taxes.  Then he raided $10,000 from my IRA to support the family why he is here. It would have been cheaper for me to send him packing!  I was given the IRA in exchange for waiving alimony.  That was dumb.  Because he's damned determined to spend it before he leaves. 

If I have no money to fall back on, he's never going to leave....is he? 

I see the game. 

It is infuriating!!! 

 

My neighbor told me that I was being played.  My ex won't leave. 

 

I'm beginning to believe he is right. 

This is how a false reality becomes real.  My ex tells everyone that we are still married.  He won't admit to the divorce.  He won't leave.  The reality appears to be that we are happily married. 

The question becomes, how do I change reality so that I get what I want? 

 

*****

 

The cops and the therapists say that my ex is having his family stalk me.

 

I don't know.  I've never caught him actively planning stalking.  He'll admit to planning stalking events with his sister but then tell me that he was joking.  I don't know.  I don't know what the reality is. 

 

My ex knew that I was going to visit my friend at lunch.  He wanted to spend yesterday with the kids, so I told him that I wouldn't be around that afternoon. 

 

He knew where I would be and with whom. 

 

Imagine the odds that a woman looking like his morbidly obese sister would show up and sit parallel to me while staring at me. 

 

I don't know. 

 

I really don't. 

 

All I know is that I'm not hiding anything. 

 

I do know that I fear my ex will never leave the house without being evicted. 

 

I do fear that I will lose my love over it. 

 

*****

Things around the house keep breaking. 

 

I think this is happening so my ex has a reason to stay. 

 

He knows I have a boyfriend. 

 

I don't hide anything. 

 

I'm quite open about it. 

 

I don't talk about what we do...but it is obvious that I'm in love with my best friend. 

 

I don't lie. 

 

This is becoming a Facebook pissing match. 

 

I don't know how to explain it. 

 

It just is. 

 

My ex has to express his necessity in my life on my posts - and - my love will express his concern. 

 

I have to play the NPD game.  I will have to praise my ex for creating problems only to solve them for me. 

 

Yes, my ex fixed the stove that I am too terrified to use.  He did this so I'd make him a holiday dinner which I agreed to do in the Separation Agreement.  I assume that once my ex falls in love, those provisions will die out.  He'll want to be with his new lady. 

 

My ex also fixed the washer, so I could wash his clothes. 

 

It's a game. 

 

I hate it. 

 

It's going to cost me my best friend. 

 

*****

 



Today my love is running a 5K for charity. 

 

I want to be with him. 

 

Yet, I am here stuffing a turkey for a turkey. 

My priorities are fucked up. 

My love should get my time. 
 

I couldn't sleep a wink last night because I realized that I'm going to lose the love of my life over this. 

 

I can't give myself fully to him when I'm being followed by people who look like my ex's sister and my ex is hanging around the house. 

 

I'm in tears. 

 

I did talk to my ex about my moving out and giving him custody of the kids and the house.  He doesn't want it. 

 

I don't know. 

 

I don't know what to do. 

 

I cannot enforce the separation agreement until the final hearing. 

 

I cannot make my ex stop raiding the retirement accounts. 

 

I cannot make him move out. 

 

I'm a sitting duck. 

 

*****



 

I guess I do have a lot to be thankful for. 

 

If Shannon was the lady at the Coffee Shop, it is proof that the cops are right.  My ex is the stalker.  He was the only one who knew where I would be. 

 

I wasn't terrified this time.  That is something to be thankful for, too. 

My love helps me feel safe. 

 

I found love, albeit too soon. 

 

I'm not sure it'll work because of the timing. 

 

I don't have the heart to throw my ex out in the cold, that will ruin my new relationship. 

 

My love was my best friend for two years.  My friends could see where it was heading but I was oblivious.  I feel like a fool.  They told me to move on.  I didn't.  As usual, my friends were right. 

 

Right love + Wrong time = Heartache 

 



At least, I had the beautiful experience of being loved by my best friend. 

 

How many people can say that? 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

Love ya,

 

S.

*Edit: 

That was Shannon in the coffee shop.  I tracked down her blog.  I found a recent photo and the name of her workplace.  She works at the office building next to the one I rent from. 

In her blog she writes about her disappointment in never having a sister she could count on.  She used to refer to herself as my sister and then make all sorts of demands on my time.  Then she started pointing guns at my neighbors and hassling people I know while claiming to be my sister. 

I still down know if she's stalking me for her own purposes or to help her brother. 

I'm going to print off Shannon's picture and carry it with me with a notation that she's my stalker.  Next time, I'll snap a picture of her watching me and take it down to the police station.   I should have done that yesterday.  She was sitting behind my boyfriend.  I'm sure he would have happily posed.  

That was Shannon!!!

Why the hell is she working next door to me???? 

Five weeks....It's only five more weeks until the divorce is final. 

I can do this. 

Love,

S.