Pressure to Date

 

Today I am thankful for the realization that people just want to have fun. 

That's all I want to do...enjoy life. 

I think I only went on one date in my entire life.  It was with a cop.  I was bored so I asked to break the law by ringing the liberty bell on the capital lawn. 

He left. 

Bummer.....(not really....) 

There was a political meeting that turned into a date in 2011.  That was an unexpected disaster. 

I don't believe in dating. 

People will argue that point with me. 

I tend to "hang out" with people I meet in political, musical or educational settings.  By the time we hang out, we've worked together for weeks (usually years).  

I was far too old when I realized that guys who want to hang out with you are interested in you.  

It took a hypnosis mentor and several guys I used to hang out with to explain it to me in a Facebook intervention. 

****

I spent several years avoiding men because my ex-husband wouldn't leave me alone.  I'd tell people I was unavailable without telling them why (and confusing the hell out of them). 

No one needs put in the middle of stalking situation. 

I did some crazy crap to signal my unavailability.  Most notably, my habit of wearing a variety of rings on the middle finger of my left hand. 

It works like a charm with the sole exception of the married guys looking for a little something on the side. 

For the past seven and a half years since the divorce papers were signed, my neighbors have been trying to find me a "honey." It's to the point, I avoid those conversations.  If it comes up, I make up an excuse to exit the conversation.   

Now, my coworkers are in on the act. 

One darling woman at work wants to use her license to work with a specific population.  Today, I saw the perfect link on a social network, so I printed it off and shared it with her. . 

I didn't remove the name of the original poster. 

Sigh...

She noted his picture and stated that he was handsome.  She asked if the guy was single. 

Sadly, he is now.  It breaks my heart to know of his divorce. 

She asked how I knew him. 

Well, we are respectful rivals. This guy has the same kind of luck that I do.  If we do something incredibly innocent, we tend to get caught by reporters in what looks like a compromising situation. 

I told her the whole story.  She laughed. 

Is he nice? 

Well, when we were in the heat of our rivalry, he'd leave me polite notes with happy faces drawn on them. 

Now - she's trying to get me to go to events where I will find this guy. 

Uh - no.  I don't feel safe doing that because of Covid.  I don't want to freak out my boss and have her worried I'm going to track Covid germies into our facility. 

But - 

she told me that I've waited far too long to start living. 

Maybe she's right. 

Sometimes it's strange working with other counselors.  They tend to challenge our habits and the discrepancies that keep us stuck. 

****

The stalking appears to be over. 

The cameras around the house haven't picked up anything funky in months. 

I'm not really looking for anyone -but- I miss hanging out with my rabble rouser friends.  Most of whom are male and single. 

Most of us are too busy taking on projects and we often have little energy to do things that would be a quick ticket to hell at the end of the day.  

But we can certainly have fun. 

I miss fun.  

I miss scheming. 

I miss playing. 

I miss being obnoxious and inspiring others to embrace their inner heathen, too. 

Maybe my colleague is right. 

Covid be damned. 

Maybe it's time to jump into the fray and play. 

The best adventures are those we embark on without any type of expectation. 

Perhaps it is time for another adventure. 

I just need to figure out where I want to start. 

May you, too, find your adventure and live all of your days. 

Love ya, 

S.