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Oh Crap! No Wonder I'm Crazy! (with another lesson)

 




Today I am thankful for education. 

Sometimes I'm just too dorky to utilize it. 


Over the past month or so, I have been sick.  I've been fainting A LOT!  I've been dizzy.  I've also lost an inexplicable amount of weight.  

I met with my doctor today who expressed concerns that I lost three more pounds over the past two days. 

Both of us were stumped. 

I had a difficult time standing.  He asked if I felt alright.  I shook my head, 'yes', because I've felt like this for about a month. 

It's probably anemia.  After that dream of someone I know being charred in a fire, I am having trouble eating much of anything, especially meat. 

Since I have a propensity for being an ungraceful klutz, I am bruised all over. 

My boss let me have a couple of days off because it's obvious I'm sick. 

*****

After visiting with the doctor today, I drove to the county building to answer the interrogatories from my ex-husband.  He'll soon know where I work.  I've decided that I need to look for a new job. 

I felt dizzy there, too.  

I can't breathe.  I have heart palpitations.  It feels like anxiety. 

Few things get to me.  I have given speeches about the need to reign in taxes in auditoriums full of liberals frothing at the mouth in front of television cameras and never felt a speck of sweat. 

I've had mental patients attack me.....and I can still be calm. 

I'm struggling with my vision.  My brand new bifocals don't work but neither does my old prescription. 

Worse, my cognition isn't as strong as usual. I'm buying into crap I never believed before. 

I'm actually believing that New Age drivel about love.  I never really believed in it before, which is why my aunt bought me the same book on soul contracts five times and I never read it until two weeks ago.  It scared the hell out of me so I donated the books.  

Today I kept hearing the same vintage dirty song everywhere; walking on the streets, on the car radio,....it even showed up on YouTube.  I never listened to that song on YouTube before.  Typically, I don't put much stock in coincidences. 

If you want further proof I'm acting like a psycho, I'm listening to 70's era country music (gasp); Ronnie Millsap, Terry Gibbs, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Charlie Pride and so on......

for me, this IS crazy. 

It's almost as if I've been possessed by the musical tastes of my mother. She died in 1984 and all of the songs I'm hearing in my head were songs released during her lifetime. 

Maybe they provide me a sense of comfort? 

*****

On the drive to the pharmacy, I wondered what the hell is wrong with me. 

I've seen other people with these symptoms before. 

It was very difficult for me to pinpoint the problem. 

I kept asking myself, 'where have I seen this before?' 

I got my prescriptions, Effexor, Buspar, Penicillin, Hydrochlorothiazide, and allergy medications.  

I drove home with the drugs, walked into the house and could barely stand. My legs were shaking out from under me. My chest hurt.  I had a hard time thinking. 

I was freezing. 

That is when I figured out my problem. 

I have Serotonin Syndrome.  

******
Last June, I saw a private doctor to get a simulant to help me focus and study.   My work hours are a tad bit strange.  I have trouble waking up.  I thought this would help me in the short term.  I have to take a huge test in the next six months which should triple my income. 

The dreams hit with a vengeance in July (even though they were less vivid prior to that). There is a certain type of anxiety one gets when dreaming of people she shouldn't think about.  When these people die in her dreams, it really freaks her out. 

The dreams were bugging me so much that I couldn't sleep. 

I needed to find a solution. 

So - I popped open the prescription I've had for seven years to deal with anxiety.  It was prescribed at the height of the stalking but I never took it because it makes me forgetful.  Every time I go to the pharmacy they give me a 90 day supply.  I just so happened to have a bottle of Buspar that I hadn't taken to the drug disposal center due to Covid. 

I started to take this as prescribed.  

Sadly, the dreams persisted and became much more vivid so I started taking the Effexor that the same doctor prescribed to me because I used to have panic attacks when I noticed damage to the doors at my home.  This was the same thing - I had the prescription for years but never took it.  When I accidently got it with my prescriptions, I'd take it down to the drug disposal center every few months. 

I thought the Effexor would help me sleep.  I started to take this every night at bedtime right after I had the dream about the death and destruction due to a fire. 

I've now lost nearly twenty pounds in less than a month without trying.  Apparently, Effexor and Amphetamines cause people to lose an incredible amount of weight far too quickly.  

Effexor taken with Buspar causes Serotonin Syndrome. 

I think I'll stop taking all that crap now. 

I wonder if I put L-Tryptophan in my vitamin cocktail? 

Oh No!  I think I need to dump out those vitamins that I organize every three months so I can take them daily. 

*****
Several months ago, I signed up for a refresher course in psychopharmacology.  I haven't taken it yet, though. 

I think it's time. 

How could I forget something so basic? 

This is why therapists are supposed to do CEUs, isn't it? 

Sigh.....

Funny thing...I frequently look up drug interactions when I learn my clients are taking new meds. Yeah, I'm also a QMAP, so I give out the drugs the doctors prescribe to my patients. 

I never thought to look up my own meds. 

*****
I'm wondering if all those drugs were the reason for the nightmares now? 

By adding more crap to the mix, I probably made it worse. 

Don't mix drugs.  Even IF they are prescribed by the same doctor, talk to the pharmacist so you don't run around in a drug induced state of confusion, barely able to stand and clutching your chest. 

I don't know who I've become.  Seriously - I don't typically listen to honky-tonk songs about someone's wife leaving, a dog running off and someone stealin' a pick-up truck. 

Typically I'm too busy to notice synchronicities. 

Thought I'd share in case it helps someone else.  Don't mix Effexor (Venlafaxine) and Buspar (Buspirone) with Adderall. 

My symptoms are mild.  I should be okay in a day or so. 

Stay Safe. 

Love ya, 

S. 

Same Day Edit 7:00 p.m. 

Well - this afternoon I saw the doctor who prescribed the amphetamine.  I guess it's rare but amphetamines can cause vivid dreams.  The fainting was possibly caused by drinking several cans of an energy drink (that I thought was fruit juice) per day.  I'm such a moron.  The lesson is to always read labels! 

She told me how to taper myself off the drug.  Those dreams are something else.  I think I might just have to pass that test the old fashioned way. 

On the drive home, I tried to drown out the mental chorus of Smoky Mountain Rain with Rude Boy (because that song makes me laugh). 


Why am I channeling music from my childhood?  My mother wanted me to grow up to be a Country Western star so I was inundated with old 45s spinning round and round from as far back as I can remember.  I barely escaped being named "Patsy." 

Maybe she knew I'd grow up to become crazy. 


I think I despise singing because of all that.  I possibly fell in love with the bass and R&B to spite her. 

Having sappy country songs spinning round in my head is possibly worse than dreams of an ex who hates me getting attacked by a pack of wolves (yeah...had that dream, too....in that dream, I tried to save him and those stupid bitches attacked me, too!).

On that note - gotta go pray.  

((( hugs ))) 

THANKSGIVING DAY EDIT:  

I had a colleague commit suicide recently in a horrific manner that reflected a dream I've had several times over the past two months.  He was a nurse.  Now, my days are spent in the company of other nurses my colleague and I worked with. 

I told one of the nurses about this issue.  She pointed out that I drink a lot of grapefruit juice.  Apparently, grapefruit contains an enzyme that keeps medication from breaking down correctly thus overdosing us on some of the medications (including Buspar). 

Then she said that I must've had Serotonin Syndrome back when we worked with our dearly departed colleague but she didn't know I was taking all of these medications. 

Then, I was chastised for quitting all of the drugs without tapering myself. 

Live and learn. 

So - read the inserts you get with your meds and go easy on the grapefruit juice. 

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving. 

S. 







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