Today I am thankful that I can name my confusion.
My ex pleaded guilty to the contempt action.
I only asked for remedial contempt.
At the time I filed the action, he was allegedly working. He was guilty then.
He lost his job three days later. He cannot pay me the money he took. By reason, he is not guilty.
The judge argued with him. How could he be guilty if he cannot honor the order now?
My ex said he was guilty.
The judge read back the divorce agreement. He agreed that my ex has stayed here too long. That he had the ability to give me the property settlement and move out when he was supposed to move out. That he could have paid child support when he was working.
He set the motion over for sentencing
then.......
THAT COUNTY JUDGE GAVE MY EX 60 MORE DAYS IN MY HOME!!!!
Sixty days.......
Sixty days of hell.....
of missing mail....
of hacked computers.....
of broken phones......
of games and crap.
Sixty days!
Things have happened that I don't write about. Last week a White Dodge Ram followed me home and pulled into my drive way behind me......it pulled away when I grabbed the phone.
I don't know if it is Doug. Doug drove a White Dodge Ram.
My ex tried to tell me that Doug drove a White Ford when he harassed me. I remember the truck. I remember the streak of dirt on the rear top of the cab near the reflector. I remember the silver ram on the back gate.
Stress causes people to be hyper vigilant. I can tell you that Doug wore a blue plaid shirt.
I can't get a restraining order against my ex. I could get one against Doug if the cops would take police reports.
The police don't take police reports. They tell me that my ex is just messing with my head and that if I remove him from my home, it'll all be over.
It won't be over until I move.
I have to repair the house to sell it so I can move.
I don't understand why I have to deal with this any longer.
I gave this guy money to move out. I signed my car over to him. I paid for his auto insurance so he could go to job interviews.
I feed him.
I have to continue this game for another sixty days!!!
Why don't family court judges understand controlling men and domestic violence?
Our lawmakers are worse. I just saw a Mike Coffman commercial where he claims he helps victims of domestic violence.
How?
I respect Mike Coffman -but- seriously???? He thinks he's helping???
Um......no.
Manipulators know how to mess with the system. They are good liars. People buy into their crap....smart people....like police officers.......and judges....
The problem is the structure of the family court (and the uneducated judges....sorry, but if a judge can't see that an abuser who pleads guilty and seemingly gives everything up is a dangerous man, he doesn't understand domestic violence.....there is a chance the kids and I are in danger if this guy tries to kill himself.....this can lead to famlicide...to put it bluntly....there are assholes who kill their kids and intend to kill themselves so the batterer and the kids can live in the afterworld together).
Yeah, it is true that justice is blind to the wrong things.
If lawmakers want to help victims of family violence, change the structure of family court. I met a man yesterday beat within an inch of his life. The person who did this still has custody of the kids....that person paid the bond. That person is awaiting sentencing. That person still has the kids.
Where is the justice for him? Sure...the criminal court pressured the couple to divorce. In criminal court, victims are protected. In family court, anything goes....the state isn't there to protect him. The court system becomes an abuser enabler.
Just like they won't protect me. Don't get me started on lawmakers trying to make guns and ammo expensive. It was hell trying to protect myself early in the separation process. He controlled the money. I could only learn to shoot because of the kindness of others who were willing to train me and help me earn my certificate.
Sad, isn't it?
Guns and ammo are the only threat keeping me breathing....well.....sort of....
The demonic witchcraft gossip bullshit may help keep the superstitious assholes at bay.
Ugh....It shouldn't be that way.
Maybe I need to get back into politics and gut some funding. Politicians are not doing anything decent with the money we give them. The money goes to creating groups that do very little to help the people they swear to help.
The shelters turn battered women away because, to quote a worker at Gateway, "once you leave, you're homeless. We're not a homeless shelter."
Then....judges let these asshats use the system.
These guys and gals know how to abuse the system.
The county wouldn't collect child support unless my ex moved out. My ex never did. Why move out if squatting in someone's house can save you a ton of money?
Ugh....
Maybe having a Mad Max justice system would be fairer!!!
There is no help for people who are stalked. There is little help for victims of domestic violence. What the hell are we paying for?
*********
Well....it is Samhain.....I'm said to be a witch.
I guess I'm on my own with this one.
The first two times I cast the anti-stalking spell people died. First it was my father-in-law. He cornered me in my kitchen pissed off that I was learning Spanish. He'd drive by my home every afternoon when the kids were coming home from school. Second, I was told Shannon died. I don't know if that's true as there was never an obituary nor is she listed on the SSA Death Index.
Shannon was the one who would harass me on campus, call my employers, stalk me during meetings and on dates after the divorce. She was allegedly engaged to Doug.
Doug isn't done.
The last time I cast a spell to stop the stalking, I requested that no one die. Michael lost his job.
I hate casting spells. They fill me with negative energy.
Stalking fills me with negative energy.
I may as well light another black candle.
I'm going to do a little experiment with rusty nails and coca cola.
I'm off to cry in my sleep.
I fear I'll never get away.
Love ya,
S.
Edit sometime later: I've been pondering the whys of the situation.
Why?
Why did all this happen?
Why did Michael plead guilty?
The answer has to be to stay in control.
If we had a trial, I may learn more about the stalking than he wants me to know. A guilty plea ends the conversation.
It all makes sense now.
