A Breakthrough.....Maybe....

Today I am thankful for the Sheriff's office.

I learned that my lawyer doesn't understand domestic violence and control issues. He doesn't think I can get a restraining order because he doesn't think I'm in danger or have any reason to be afraid.

He thinks I let my ex stay here. Nope. I've asked for mediation several times and that is probably a matter of record on my file with the courthouse. In fact, I hired this lawyer six months ago to get him out. My ex is still here.....$4,500 later.

My ex refuses to leave.

I am looking around for another lawyer. I need someone that understands my issue.

This guy doesn't get it.

Few people do.

The police said they'll help me if they can catch my ex acting out. He's been on pretty good behavior lately. If he punches a wall, they'll help me get a restraining order.

That hasn't happened since the divorce.

I still find it hard to believe that I have to share my house with a guy who is having me stalked and asking his relatives to contact people I knew in the past.

I'm uncomfortable. Why do I have to live with someone who makes me uncomfortable? Why do I have to allow this person access to my phone and my computer?

This person knows my routine. I'm sure that helps with the stalking behavior.

I'm afraid of his family. He has told me that he has given them keys to my house in the past.

Why can't I change the locks?

This is scary. I feel like my life is on hold pending his departure.

I spoke to someone who told me to call the Sheriff.

Luckily, the Sheriff listened. I can't say what I was told to do but it seems much more hopeful that sitting around paying a lawyer $1,500 every two months to have his paralegal email me every month or so to ask how I'm doing and to tell me to wait it out.

I'm feeling hopeful. I'll let you know when it is over.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor hi...

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP a...

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