Well.....
Well....it does NO good to call the police. This is why gun control will fail in the USA. One out of three women will have been abused in her lifetime. One out of three of us know the cops won't help. We have lost trust in the system.
Today I am thankful that I know a lot of politicians.
So...to recap....my daughter was arrested in November because I called the police. She had called me. Her boyfriend was screaming at the top of his lungs that he was going to call the cops on her. She and her child were barricaded in a locked bedroom.
She was afraid to leave.
He was behind the closed door.
I called the police.
She told him the police were coming. He yelled something about having pot and needing to leave.
The police arrived and arrested her because her boyfriend's shirt had a rip in it.
******
My granddaughter is missing. No one in my family has seen her since that day. Rumor has it that my daughter was pressured to sign an agreement to allow him to take her to his family in Texas. They are undocumented aliens. I fear for her safety.
I probably should not go into my feelings about illegal aliens. I don't like the laws we have and I have empathy for the plight of immigrants. The laws need changed. The problem is that undocumented aliens ARE breaking the law (often several because they have to use stolen documents and numbers to survive). This creates a situation where some of their children seem to grow up with little regard for the law (hence beating women, stealing electronics and the other stuff my granddaughter's dad does).
I asked my daughter when I could see my granddaughter. My daughter answered my queries with a series of curse words in a text message.
I'm done dealing with my daughter until she can behave civilly. She did nothing to quell my fears about the grandchild's safety. The last time I saw my granddaughter she had welts on her body. She had bald spots. Her parents explained it away as "allergies" and said the doctor knew about it.
Now.....after learning of the domestic violence and the behavior of the parents. I am NOT so sure.
It's time to be the domestic violence activist I used to be.
******
I called the DA. I told them what was going on. I vowed to be at the next hearing. I asked for the number to the victim's advocate. I doubt she will call.
The mile high man who reeked of pot while menacing my daughter and grandchild IS the victim in the eyes of the system. I will be incredibly angry if the decision to arrest and prosecute my daughter gave this man the ammo to take a three year old child away from her mother/primary caretaker for 90 days now.
Anger is old lady fuel.
In another 90 days she will be a resident of Texas and out of our jurisdiction. I fear she will never return. I fear something is wrong. Why would my daughter be so evasive? Did something happen to this little girl?
Fear is another grandma fuel.
I called the Congressman that represents the area where the rogue cop operates. I don't know him.
I haven't called the Senator for the area. In fact, I may actually see him in the next few days.
It's a small, small world.
I have a call into my Senator and Congressman.
Their cops broke the law.
There is a law on the books that requires them to look at a past history of violence. They did. They acknowledged that the man has a history of domestic violence but, in their report, they posit that he "chose to do the right thing THIS time."
Anyway.....I'm on it.
******
One of the last emails Steve sent to me claimed that I was always a victim.
No.....I AM A VICTOR!
Victims don't consider convincing politicians to challenge badly written laws.
He also claimed I was a drama queen....
Perhaps.....perhaps.....
It's not my drama -but- if I have to make an appearance, it is going to be memorable.
******
If you want to read more about the issue, here is a journal that chronicles some of the issues in domestic violence. I think the article from Susan L. Miller is quite helpful in explaining why police departments arrest the victims. It's a little dated (from 2001) but it is an easy read and very well written.
http://www.sagepub.com/upm-data/2993_12vaw01
The truth is that abusers (male and female) are often quite manipulative and mentally ill. They know how to manipulate and upend the system.
It's a shame that cops can't look deeper.
*****
Maybe it is time we force them to run arrest and conviction records during each call so they KNOW the history before making an arrest, so they have a better picture of what is going on. I'd hate to do that.....but.....I'll bring it up the next time I'm having coffee with my house representative. Yeah...he never drinks the coffee. He talks too much for that !
Okay...I've got to go. I'm sure my daughter and her lawyer are going to chew my arse out. I don't care. You DO NOT hold a child incognito or give her to an abuser for more than a few days at a time.
She has been gone 90 DAYS!!
If I had to become a grandma at 40, I'm gonna use my energy to protect the child.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. Yes, I do have my brown candles out. I'm Pagan. I've got to pray for justice my way.
P.S.S. I just got a phone call. My child's band teacher died over the weekend....sigh....he was younger than I.
Life is NOT fair.
I hope they are doing something for his family.
Wow.....