Sue Happy (edit)

Today I am  thankful for options.

I am deciding on whether or not I want to be sue happy,

-or- if I want to start writing articles about the dangers of arresting victims of domestic violence,
-or- if I want to start a political ruckus.

Well....


I cannot ever be with Michael again. 


Ever......ever......EVER!


Part of the problem were lies of omissions and semantic games....




He claimed that he didn't lose his job at the city.....


he didn't lose it, he was fired.


He claimed that he was in therapy.....


he was in therapy but quit and spent Tuesday nights at McDonalds for an hour so I thought he was in therapy. 


For more than fifteen years he didn't know why his sister, mother and aunts would complain that I went to college and demand that I quit.  This eventually led to his sister stalking me on campus to tell various leaders and professors in my department that I was a bad wife for being in school and demand that they expel me......


Many years later, I would learn that when he was in his early twenties, his mother wanted him to finish college but reneged on her promise to pay.  He quit and didn't return citing a non-existent agreement with me.  He claimed that we agreed that he wouldn't go to school until I finished my doctorate.  The problem with this is that it was a lie.  I was actively seeking scholarship and financial aid for him.


He told me that he mailed his sister a key to the house and told her she could come in anytime. 


Now, of course, he claims he did no such thing and lied because he thought it was what I wanted to hear. 


He never told me he took over $55,000 from our retirement accounts.


He never told me when he took over $10,000 from my divorce settlement after he was supposed to disperse the sum to me.  According to a letter he sent to me, he owes me $14,000. 


There are a lot of lies......many of them are lies of omission.   I have to actually guess the right scenario before I can figure out what is going on. 


He did this with the eldest child.  She is a 24 year-old paralegal.  I may have to sue her for her own good.


I may have to sue a city in Colorado too.  If I cannot sue, I may just wind up moving there and running for office. 


Let me explain......


A few months ago, the eldest daughter called the house.  I have a VOIP phone line.  It has a speaker function to it. 

In this call, I could hear her live-in boyfriend scream that he was going to call the cops. 


He's menacing her.  I learn that she and their three year old daughter are barricaded in the bedroom.  He took the keys to the car.  He took the child's car-seat.  They can't leave.  He's standing outside of the room screaming


that he can call the cops on her because his shirt is ripped.  He's screaming that he wants her to know how bad it feels to get arrested.  He's going to teach her a lesson. 


I give the phone to my ex-husband so he can calm her down.  I get on my cell phone and call the non-emergency line of the police department. 


I tell them what is going on.  They send officers.  They promise to call me back.  They TELL me to stay out of it. 


Twenty minutes later, my daughter says that the cops refused to listen to her.  She wants me to come help her get her daughter to leave.  As I am on the phone with her, I hear a male voice say that she needs to hang up. 


Three hours later I get a call from the jail.  The dispatcher never calls.


Apparently, my grandchild's father, sat in his car and continued to tear a gaping hole in his shirt.  He then begged the cops to press charges against our daughter. 




He has an extensive arrest history. 
******


They want to send my daughter to trial because he is clearly the victim in the eyes of this cop.  I read the police report.  It is riddled with quite a few glaring errors.  It is quite clear that the officer lied.

 The report literally reads

"the man decided to do the right thing this time and not hit her"

Really?  What history of domestic violence are we ignoring?


Then it also goes on to say that my daughter claimed they were married for several years (which would have put her at 15 on their wedding day).


I have my notes.  I plan to file a request for review with that police department.  I have a lot of activist friends that fight this county. They hate the sheriff and are trying to get him removed.

I haven't told them what is going on.....yet.
Maybe I need to do a CORA?  Maybe there are documents pushing cops to arrest victims?  I don't know.  This isn't the first time I've heard of it in this city.  I need more information.



But....this isn't the worst of it.  I think the DA doesn't have anything on my daughter and he set the matter over for trial to try to scare her into pleading guilty. 


It's a horrible game of chicken. 

It may have irreparably damaged my daughter's relationship with her daughter.


Let me explain......


We have a highly manipulative man.....


yes, it is the same one who asked me to sleep with him (shudder, ick....WTF?)......


Let me try this again. 


We have a highly manipulative man,


who now has a weapon to control the mother of his child. 


If she doesn't sign off on what he wants, he will tear his clothing and call the cops.


So.....


She signed a statement allowing him to take her three year old daughter to the border of Texas for 180 days to live with his ILLEGAL ALIEN PARENTS. 


My daughter is a paralegal. 


She KNOWS better. 


Do you know what happens in 180 days? 


The child becomes a resident of Texas. 


All custody, child support and visitation actions would have to be filed in Texas.  In Texas, I would not have any rights to grandparent visitation. 


I do not believe in Grandparent Visitation laws.  I think they are an affront to parenting.  At this juncture, I am seriously considering selling the house and hiring a lawyer to bring the child back home. 


I can sue my daughter and her ex-boyfriend within the next ten days.  I only have 90 days to take action. 


He would have to travel 1,500 miles to answer my complaint in court.  The child would be home.  The child could see her mother. 


*****


I originally wanted to be a musician but so many people in my world were incredibly messed up so I studied social work. 


Then I noticed that the social workers didn't really understand the interplay between personal issues and familial pressures, so I went to school to study psychology. 


Most of my work revolves around child development and attachment theory.  Bad attachment...childhood trauma....being ripped from those we are close too.....well...that leads to issues like Borderline Personality Disorder.  It's a painful condition to have.  I don't want my granddaughter suffering from it.  From what I can tell, it runs on the maternal side of the family. 


I fear for my granddaughter. 


My granddaughter used to come over here, once a week, telling me that daddy says she is "bad."  There would be welts on her skin and hair pulled out of her head. 


I would literally catch her pulling her hair.


My daughter claimed to have told the child's physician.   The doctor prescribed medication for the swelling on her skin.   He or she knew about the welts.  I figured that in a mandatory reporting state, the doctor would report it to social services. 


Maybe not....


Now, my grandchild's attachment with her mother is threatened.  She is barely three.  You do NOT take a three year old from her mother for six months without some type of psychological ramification later on. 


Same goes with dads....you cannot take a young child from a parent he or she is close to for such a long period of time.


Today I get to decide if I want to invoke a law I disagree with so that I can save my daughter from her fear.  The child cannot lose residency here. 


There was talk about taking the child to live in Mexico. 


I blame a lazy police officer and an uneducated DA for giving an idiot the tools to intimidate a young woman and mess with the psyche of a child. 


If this mess does not clean up soon, I'll have to introduce myself to them.....


It'll be fun. 

I wonder if I personally know any of the state house reps for their area. 

I betcha I do. 

This could be an interesting thing to discuss over coffee or write about in an Examiner article (complete with names...the officers...their superior...the DAs....let's bring it all out in the open). 


***** 


I am also angry for another reason....


My ex-husband knew about my daughter signing this legal agreement.  So did my aunts and uncle who are literally taking bets on what this no-nonsense grandma is going to do.


I believe it is not my place to sue my daughter.  I don't stand up to her dad.  She won't stand up to her abuser, either. 


I effed up by keeping the family together for the sake of the children. 


What pisses me off is that NO ONE told me.  We wasted 90 days on this secret.  We only have another 90 days to act.   With such a short amount of time left, the odds of our action being less thought through is incredibly high.  It is much easier to maintain a sense of calm when one has more time to act. 


I actually had to explain why a man would do this to a woman and a child. 


I had to explain it several times before people understand.  


Let me explain it to you.....


First, it is intended to punish my daughter for having him arrested last year.  He's out to hurt her by taking the child away. 


He has no intention on raising the child.  His undocumented immigrant parents are doing that for him!

The police department and DA gave him this tool. 


Shame on them. 


Secondly, it was intended as a means to prove his innocence.  This guy is abusive.  No one upon no one will allow an abuser to take a child out of state for six months (unless she signed a document under duress).


Damn it! 


******
I don't know. 


I am a Libertarian.  I am well known for my views on illegal immigration.  I am not one who believes in calling ICE to report undocumented people. 


I am tempted. 


I really am. 


*****

I am also a witch. 


How does one conjure a scandal to prove ineptness on the part of a police officer and a district attorney?


Ah......that will take some time.  I bet the scandal already exists.  One just has to find it.  I wonder if I can find an angry former employee who will spill the beans?  Hmmmmm.......there are always ways to get seeds of information.....always. 


I want these idiots re-educated or removed from their posts. 


Heaven help that DA if he aspires to have a career in politics.  I will remind him of this failure every time he gives a speech. 

He'd better clean his department up or get out of town. 

I wonder if I've ever met the mayor? 
It's time to put on my networking heels. 



Love ya,

S. 


Edit sometime later:


Our daughter is acting erratically.  She's left bizarre messages for us.

Truth be told, I haven't seen my granddaughter in 80 days.  In fact, NO ONE has. Our daughter is being evasive with information.  When I ask about our granddaughter, she tells me that we'll talk about it in April.


The last time I asked she started to curse.  This is weird. 


I called my friend at the county social services.  Even on a Sunday, she listened and said that I needed to call the police department and ask them to do a wellness check on the family.


That is the problem.  If I call the police, anything our daughter says will be used against her in the domestic violence hearing (when Jose ripped his shirt and claimed she did it).


I tracked Jose to Arlington, Texas (Pipl.com rocks).  There are 55 people in that city with his name so my PI buddy is trying to find his address.  We will call social services to ask for help in determining if the child is okay and alive. 

The problem with this is that the family are illegal aliens.  This could get them in trouble. 


I sure wish someone would confirm this little girl is still alive.

It would make life less worrisome. 


I don't know....do I call the police knowing that the DA will use any information to harass our daughter?

I think I have no choice. 


I'll let you know.