Today I am thankful for caring house representatives.
Three months ago, my daughter was arrested for ripping her boyfriend's shirt. Long story short, she called me up and claimed to be barricaded in a bedroom with her three year old daughter. I could hear him yelling about calling the police.
I gave the phone to my ex-husband and proceeded to call the police. The officer arrested her because her boyfriend had a tear in his sweatshirt.
I saw the police report. It was riddled with errors. The officer did not consider the issue surrounding the call or the past incidents of domestic violence. I decided to wait until after her case was over to file a formal complaint or get feedback about the process.
*****
I was a victim's advocate 17 years ago. I worked for another DA. Things have changed quite a bit since then. I'm having a hard time keeping up.
I haven't seen my granddaughter since Thanksgiving (shortly after the arraignment). Every time I asked about her, I hear "she's with her dad" but nothing more.
Last Saturday, my daughter called. I asked when I could see my granddaughter. She blew a fuse. I was shocked when she said that she would not talk to me until April.
She starts leaving belligerent messages for me on social media. Then she tells her family that I am posting about her on Facebook. Well....I don't post anymore due to an ex-boyfriend who claims the same thing......so....I don't know.
I asked her where the child is and she sent me rude, curse word laden text messages. So......I set out to work on hunting the child down. I was told to stop trying to find the child -but- my daughter refuses to tell me where she is or give me evidence that she is safe. All she will tell me is that her dad took her in November. She said that the 3 year old girl may or may not be back in April.
180 days?
180 days without her mother?
180 days? She'll lose residency in this state.
Oh no....
My daughter is not thinking.
This feels weird.
Who gets so defensive and angry when asked about her daughter? Who acts like that? There shouldn't be a reason to act like that unless something is wrong. I'm scared for the child.
I've been trying to locate her to find out if she is okay and I've gotten nowhere. My daughter's behavior pertaining to her child is a huge red flag. Why lie if nothing is wrong? Why be evasive if everything is okay? Something is off.
I finally enlisted the help of the arresting police officer. He did refer the matter to social services.
Nothing......no one knows where this child is. There is nothing on file at the municipal or county courthouse.
We've hit a dead end. Rumor has it that her father fled with her to Texas to live with his undocumented parents. I did find someone with her father's name in Arlington selling cell phones on Craigslist. I think that could be him (he steals phones and sells them online).
My neighbor is a Private Investigator. He's going to help me try locating them. The Arlington PD has been nice but have no address.
*****
Something is strange here. A child simply doesn't go missing for 90 days without a word. Other relatives shouldn't have to badger the mother for an answer. A mother doesn't stay mum about it or curse people when asked how her child is. A father doesn't simply take off to a city 1,100 miles away without preparing the child for a journey.
I wasn't worried until my daughter started cursing about it.
I'm worried now.
I'm wondering what in the world is really going on.
I reported the red flags. I will evade service as I know her lawyer will try to subpoena me to force me to stay silent and to stop me from hunting for the child and her father. I fear for her safety. My daughter is on her own with this one.
I'll keep looking.
My gut instinct says that people lie when something is wrong.
This is why I worry.
******
I have to say that I am concerned about the sheer number of domestic violence victims who are arrested for defending themselves. Yes, it does happen where one party will beat the other for years. The cops can be called out and the victim will always deny what is going on and refuse to press charges. There will come a day when the victim will fight back and the abuser will press charges for a scratch, a push, or a rip in a shirt.
That was what I thought happened with my daughter. After her behavior towards me, I am not so sure. Maybe she was the aggressor? She certainly became aggressive towards me.
I did talk to a couple of politicians about it.
There is one working on a bill to prevent this scenario by having cops and DAs look at prior history of domestic abuse before making an arrest or proceeding with a criminal charge.
I spent the afternoon in a room with him, many county district attorneys, and victim advocates. They can see scenarios I couldn't imagine. I really wish my daughter would talk to them.
I tried.
This congressman wanted to talk to my daughter. He wants to try to help women (and abused men) in her situation get their records expunged for first time offences like scratching, torn shirts, and pushes during domestic altercations.
My daughter's reply to us was negative and curse word laden. So......well.....so much for trying.
I don't know. As far as I'm concerned, a three year old little girl is missing.
I am thankful that there are people out there trying to fight for justice and put an end to injustice.
I'll have to earn some dough so I can make a contribution to the political coffers of these congressmen. I need to show gratitude towards people who try their hardest to make the world a better place.
Love ya,
S.
Edit Four Years Later: Noticing activity on this post, I thought I should state the name of and tell the fate of the kind congressman. His name is Steve Lebsock. He was trying to help victims of domestic violence expunge their records of frivolous charges brought by their abusers.
Two years after this post, Colorado Democrats claimed that his use of the word "Fuck" was sexual harassment and tried to pressure him to resign. There were also various vague complaints and a so-called investigation that was so redacted that it didn't mean anything.
The House Democrats wound up breaking the Colorado Constitution (by failing to perform a new election thus denying his constituents due process) and ousted him via vote. I wrote about it and will provide the links below.
He was more moderate than most Democrats in the house at the time.
Sadly, as predicted, more state representatives are being harassed by vague "sexual assault" allegations. If you don't vote the way the Democrats want, you're a sexual harasser. The latest casualty of such an assault was a woman.
It was a horrible debacle that cost us a great legislator. The precedent that was set is going to cost us several more.
https://warpedgratitude.blogspot.com/2018/03/disgusted.html (links to the proceeding are buried in the post).