Today I am thankful for birthday parties.
Okay....
My sister is having a birthday party for her youngest daughter tomorrow afternoon.
She invited me.
She invited my family.
Now, I have to concern myself with the definition of family.
Is my family the children and I?
Is it my family, my love, and the children?
Does the concept of family constitute my household?
Do I have to bring my ex-husband?
My sister hates my ex-husband. I had been forbidden to visit with her children because she hated my husband so much. My sister was delighted at our divorce. She was more delighted learning that I was dating an Anarchist who believes that prostitution shouldn't be illegal.
I think she wants to meet the Anarchist.
Sigh.....
As the holidays swiftly approach, this is going to be a common question.
Do I bring my love?
Do I bring the ex?
This is so damn weird.
Maybe I should go alone.
What is the formality one must follow in these situations?
I want to run and hide.
My life is one awkward party.
I can't stand it anymore.
Love ya,
S.
Edit:
Well, the invitation was first extended to my ex-husband.
They are not treating us like we are divorced. My initial reaction is to recoil in horror and run away from town.
It gets worse.
My sister was bragging about her "new" friends.
Take a wild guess as to who they are.
Yep...my sister has made friends with my political enemies.
One of them will be there.
Guess why they want me there?
Actually, I have to guess.
I don't know.
I wonder if they know about the recall effort?
I'd rather not go.
I will. I'll behave. I promise.
Who knows? They may convince me to run again.
We will see.
At least I won't be there long enough to eat the cake.
After party edit:
It wasn't so bad.
The liberal guy just took a lot of pictures of me. He only asked me one political question and that was my party affiliation. I told him that I was a registered Libertarian and he left me alone.
He took a lot of pics, though.
It went well.
I haven't seen my sister in the light in ages. When we run into each other it is typically at night. She doesn't keep normal hours. She's a night owl who lives like a vampire.
Her name is Ginger.
I used to laugh because I was the redhead. She was a natural blonde.
Well....now Ginger has curly red hair just like I do. She laments that she can't dye the red away.
That poor dear.
I know how it feels.
She wants me to apply to be her boss at a nursing home. Her boss quit.
Do you know why?
The resident's families are taking advantage of the corporation.
My sister said that some orderly is stealing hundreds of dollars from a few of the people living there. The home responds by giving the families hundreds of dollars off of their monthly rent.
The orderlies are not stealing anything. The families are talking to each other and finding a way to lower their rent.
I smell a scam.
I don't know if I want the job. I have to research the pay first.
*****
I'm still in pain. I'm still sad. I'm still confused.
My family was talking about how sad it was that I was divorced from Michael even though it is obvious that we care about each other.
Yes....but...the relationship was not working.
Yes....but...I do not know how to get away.
Yes....but...I think I need to be alone for the rest of my life or until I can find a way to get away from Michael.
That makes me depressed.
*****
Oh....there is one funny thing that I saw etched in the sidewalk outside of my sister's condo. Someone had etched an encircled Anarchist A in the concrete.
I wonder if my sister did that.
I won't have to worry about this for another month.
Her birthday is four weeks away.
That'll give me time to figure out who goes to parties with me.
I don't think it will be much of an issue. I don't think I'll be attached. I can't be in a relationship in this situation. Until my ex-husband moves out of the house, I am not girlfriend material.
I am in unsexy mode.
I can't get into sex under these circumstances.
I don't see how to end the situation in a manner that will not harm the children.
I think I am stuck.
I don't know.
I'm trying to find a solution.
Maybe there isn't one.