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Men Behaving Badly

Today I am thankful for men who behave badly. 


I realize that men act like horny, judgmental jerks because they want to get rid of  women! 


Oh....


so when I wanted to talk about it and he was too tired,


I did him a solid. 


I ended things. 


*****


I'm off to do a ritual to Isis so he gets his true love.


I don't see myself having sex with this guy.   I think I'm too anxious around him to be me.  I don't know what I can do that won't wind up on Facebook, or told to his boss, or his mother.  It was hard to be free enough to be me. 
He sent me abusive emails.  That made it hard to trust him.  With each abusive threat, with each abusive name, with each abusive game, the trust diminished more and more.

There is something off about this relationship and I can't put my finger on it. 


As far as sex, I really don't see myself able to do that now. 


I think he'd just use me and then start an argument to make me uncomfortable so I'd wind up leaving.


The arguments were stupid.  He'd say some inaccurate thing like "the Romans conquered Ireland in the name of Christ so Christians are imperialists."

I'd correct him. The Romans conquered Ireland in the name of their emperor (Claudius, I think).

Then he'd claim that I agreed with him on theory, so correcting him meant I didn't love him.   


When I called the argument stupid and silly, he claimed I called him stupid and silly.


When I called it bullshit, then I was talking dirty in his room but not in a fashion he approved.


I'm bottom lining it.  I'm adding my language to it.  I'm using prettier words.  In sum, things got to the point that I didn't know what I could say around him.


It was annoying. 


I grew tired of it.


****


I like fellatio. 


I need a guy who will let me take my time with it without demonstrating his desires on my index finger. 


That was weird.  That put me off.  I thought that if I'd have a few hours with him, we could play.  We could experiment and decide what each other liked. 


After that, I really couldn't do anything more than vanilla with him. 
We couldn't get cozy together.


So, breaking up must be the only solution. 


*****
Even when we had something scheduled to do together, he'd only want to be alone with me.


I'd dress up for events we wouldn't go to. 


It got old.


I can't do this anymore. 
I'd see him.  He'd corner me.  He'd want sex.  He'd want me to drive him around.  He'd argue.  I'd leave.  I was getting bored.


I know in the past he's broken up with me to create drama and to try to get something out of me.


When I do it...I AM serious.


He doesn't want to talk to me.
I NEVER want to see him again. 
This works.


*****



I can't do this anymore.


I'm in too much pain.


Just think of all the time I'm going to have for political functions now!! 

Wow.....





Love ya,

S.



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