Skip to main content

Temptation

Today I am thankful that I passed the temptation test.


So...the universe sent to me a hot, Leo, Pagan, Libertarian, Bass Player who is also a political activist.


Oh....did I tell you that he likes to hug. 


Oh...did I tell you that he looks strikingly similar to my ex-boyfriend Thomas when he was in high school. I want to know where he found that elusive fountain of youth.


Oh...did I tell you that he shares Steve's birthday?


Hmmmmmm........


He's NOT what I want. 


I can't exactly pinpoint why that is. 


I went to a restaurant where his band was playing.  He ran up and gave me a big hug. 


He watched me through the night.   I could see him point at me from the stage.  The lead singer would nod.  It was weird.

I met a Lakota man and his Irish wife.  I met a woman who sold Pagan ritual clothing.  I met a man who made hypnotic posters. 

It was fun. 


At the end of the night, when my bass playing friend was exhausted from running around the stage with his beautiful blonde 5-string fretted Fender, he ran up....gave me a big hug...and said..."damn, you're so much prettier and fun in person!"


He's so much like me.  I want to know why I am not interested. 


What is it? 


I'm thinking that if I had that answer, I could define what it is about Steve that I like so much. 




Edit sometime later:


Oh well....


I've been sick for the past few days. 


Now, I am worried.


My ex-husband was in pre-op today.  He needs to have a metal plate put into his arm.  When he was consulting with the doctor, something happened and he wound up in the ER.


I just got the call. 


I'm his ex-wife so details are sketchy at this point. 


I am in tears. 


Why can't I have a month without drama?


Why?


UGH!!! 


He's in the same hospital Steve was in a couple of months ago.  I have half a mind to drive down there and hypnotize the staff into telling me what is going on. 


I'm not married to Steve and they told me. 


Maybe I can get someone to spill the beans so I can help Mike get better. 


I know it sounds stupid but, if you're the praying type, please pray for Mike. 


The kids need their father.


Love ya,


S.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse.   I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different.  For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship.  I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on.  I blamed myself. It doesn't matter.  It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago.  Yes, he says that he knows what he did.  Yes, he said most men know the games they play.  Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating.  It's painful.  It's validating.  I know what my problems are.  I always do my best to see the best in other people.  I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.  My issue?  Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't.  I'm st...
Read more

Realizations

Today I am thankful for realizations.   Michael handed me a note promising me the house, the 401K and custody of the kids.  I told him to come up with something a little more fair towards himself. He started crying because he doesn't want a divorce.  I'm all he lives for. He hasn't touched me in six years and I'm what he wants. Yeah...right!! I am so flippin' pissed! I knew it!! I knew it!!! The games...the stalking...the lying...the bullshit...the threats to kill himself.... it is all designed to keep me here. I still don't get the stalking shit.  He claims it's his sister and he can't keep me safe from her.  He can't help but tell them how to find me, so he tells me that I will never be safe so long as I am married to him. The cops say he's the stalker and that I'll never be safe until he moves on to another woman. I'm confused. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to stay safe is to move far away....
Read more