A Trio of Concerned Witches (with Edit)

Today I am thankful for my Pagan friends.

Today was a crazy day.  I learned that I took too many classes in college.  I need to take ten refresher courses and work 18 months under a clinical supervisor in order to get a license in addiction counseling.

That was nice.  All those other drug and alcohol classes I took were unnecessary.   That's okay...that education is what makes me a darn good stop smoking hypnotist.

I spent two hours cooped up in my car waiting for an emissions test.  I read an entire book about relationships and how lovers talk to each other. Apparently men who criticize their loved ones tended to be criticized harshly by their parents.  I knew that....but somehow.....reading that while sitting in a car that smelled like my former boyfriend made it hit home.  He thinks all the judgment is normal!

By the way, the car passed the tests with flying colors, so now I have to earn the money for license plates.  I have one vintage bass guitar left.  I'll sell it if I have to do that. 

One step at a time......life transformations happen one step at a time. 

I'm getting there. 

I had meeting after meeting today.  I was busy.  I'm not sure if anything will pan out.  

Upon arriving home and checking my email, I found a message from one of my Pagan friends.  She and two other members of her Coven are Facebook friends.  They saw what went down.  They are worried about me and Steve.  They want to cast a spell on our behalf before the full moon. 

I don't know.....I don't know.....

Isn't that unethical?

Hmmmm.....I could ask them to help Steve find that raven haired beauty in the visions.  But then, that would require telling them about him and giving them a picture. 

So....no....It's not right.  It was a violation of Wiccan Law for me to ask Isis who his true love is.  I gave an offering hoping to bring her to him.  It was rejected.

I was shocked that my friends noticed his absence.   She was the one that prayed to find me love two years ago.  Maybe she's sad that I didn't hang on to that love.  I was happy for a short time.  I'm not happy anymore.   

I guess there was a disturbance in the force. 
She wanted me to consider a reconciliation ritual.

I don't think reconciliation is possible.  I'm not what he wants.  He has made that clear.  I'm not Anarchist enough.  He's not comfortable with me.  He claims that I have no self-respect and couldn't give him an ounce if I tried. 
I'm so sad.
I still have that book of shadows that I bought him.  It pains me to look upon it.  Perhaps I should send it to the woman who wrote today.  Someone in her coven could use it.  

I wish the crying would stop. 
I do wonder if I owe him closure -or- if calling him would make the pain worse.  I find myself thinking about this numerous times every day.  Should I offer him friendship?  Should I just let it go?
Maybe time will heal this.
Truth be told - I wasn't what he wanted. If I was, there wouldn't have been so much criticism and judgment.  

Love ya lots,

S.


Edit: 


Well....my witch friend wrote back to me.  She's a few years older than I and she's been around the block a few times. 


She said that this was the course of passion.  She said that when a man doesn't get his sexual needs met the energy turns around and  causes men to do crazy things.  She said that she bets the sex is hot when we get together because people who are hot together fight when they can't make good use of the loads of energy they generate. She warned me NOT to do anything stupid.  I think it is too late for that. 


Oh.....


Me?  I am a worshipper of Aphrodite. 

I had a thought.


Aphrodite gets bored easily.  I'm beginning to wonder if the fighting is a way of amusing Aphrodite.  I mean, I'm not doing anything new except fighting.


So...I brainstormed a bit and thought of a new way to keep her interest. 


I guess I'll have to get more sexually curious and vow to do new things every weekend.  That will be a way of keeping stupid fights out of any future romantic entanglement. 


I'd rather be entangled in sheets than crying my eyes out. 


Love ya,


S.