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Sleeping Pills

Today I am thankful for sleeping pills.


I have been exhausted of late.  I am having a tough time sleeping.  I fall asleep around midnight.  I wake up around four and hallucinate that I am talking to djinn. 


No, they do not grant wishes. 


They give me advice.


I think my subconscious mind thinks it is a genie.


I am being told that the things I think are true are lies.


I am being told that I am being manipulated by my ex-husband.


*****

I spent the past six hours having an absolute stupid argument. 

I wanted my ex-husband to tell me how and when he wanted the actual separation to take place.

He wanted me to stop seeing Steve.

So.....we went rounds.

He wants to stay in this house until I find a good paying job. 

I am afraid to look for a permanent job so long as he lives here due to the fact I'm being stalked by his sister.

I haven't really spoken to his sister since 1999, so I don't know how she knows the things she knows about me.  How does she know what I look like?  How does she know where to find me?

He has to be telling her things about me. 

This is when the argument gets crazy. 

My ex-husband will admit to not wanting me to work.  He will admit to sabotaging me.  He will admit to controlling the money and the cars.  He will admit to doing this so he can stay with me.

Today he admitted to putting off filing the taxes because he wanted me to agree to go to marital counseling with him when the refund arrived.  I need the refund to pay the rent on my office space.

Marital counseling?  We've been divorced three months!!!

He will admit to trying to keep me with him.  He will not admit to the stalking. 


Okay....


He also admits that he had no intention of divorcing me and that this is why he hasn't followed the agreement. 


This makes me tired. 


I don't know what to do. 


I'm going to go to sleep and hope to have another conversation with my djinn.


What should I tell him?


Hmmmmmmm......


If I had three wishes, what would they be? 

Money?
A job?
and world peace?

I don't know....

Maybe I should ask for money, a job in another state, and a hobby so I can ignore my ex-husband?

Maybe what I need is good advice.

I don't know exactly what I want. 

I guess that is the problem. 

I don't know what I want. 

If I knew, I'd go get it for myself. 

I am tired.  I am confused.  I want to go off and hide in a cave. 

Help!!!

Love ya,

S.


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