Skip to main content

Another Day Another Confusing Dream

Today I am thankful for more insight from a nurse. 

She spoke about ministry and how she helped people find their faith in desperate times of distress. 

I thought about her story as I fell asleep. 

This morning there was another ice dream. 

Sort of - 

I was in the same place. 

There was writing. 

There was no ice, 

only writing in the sky. 

The writing was so quick and fast paced that the letters seemed to pile up on each other. 

I could make out the words 

 "call ?" 

"visit ?" 

"noon" 

"tomorrow" 

I awaken wondering what I forgot to put on my calendar

and where I'm supposed to be. 

I'll figure it out tomorrow afternoon.

This ought to be interesting. 

The nurse helped me to feel better about my guilt of buying stuff for the homeless, donations for the facility in which I work and the sneaky gifts that show up for my coworkers on their birthdays from the staff (which I hope she doesn't know I have anything to do with that.) 

This nurse used to do the exact same thing when we worked together at a different facility.  I thought it was a company tradition and wanted to keep it going.*

It took about twelve hours but by morning I finally realize why she does what she does. 

Every person is a gift from the divine and, as such, they are to be celebrated. 

I am incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by living angels while on this plane of existence. 

Someone once told me to write a story about my life due to the alleged trauma.  To me, it really wasn't all that traumatic.  I have been surrounded by beautiful, kind souls my entire life from the Spanish speaking janitor at school who lived next door and made sure my sister and I were safe, to the people at the Baptist church who would give bread to my mother in exchange for taking my sister and I to camp for a weekend to avoid the abuse, the teacher who drove me from my foster home to school every day so I didn't go to a rough school, they adorable boy who bought me vitamins and protein powder so I didn't die of anorexia, the gay man who co-signed an apartment for me and insisted that I finish high school, the homeless people who helped me navigate a tough part of town when I was young and naïve, the guy who gave me money to use the payphone after I was assaulted and so many more. I could go on forever but there are so many beautiful souls and acts of kindness.  

One thing is for sure angels abound. 

They make the bad times much easier to endure.  

Children learn what they live.  Perhaps that is why I am so keen to pay it forward.  

Maybe it is just because I owe so much to the world. 

May you be so lucky,

S. 

 *I think people are realizing are from me....I put a jar stuffed with money and gift cards in the cabinet at work and tell the boss and colleagues that those are contributions towards celebratory gifts/cards for staff.  I've noticed that other people are beginning to fill the jar on their own.  I'll never touch that money but someone will eventually need it.  When I was hired I promised the interviewer that I would celebrate each birthday/special event.  The interviewer now works for the governing body over rehab centers but I'm a person of my word.  The work they do is soul crushing and draining.  It's good to lift them up. 

They may need a bigger jar. :) 

Next Day Edit: 

It turned out to be a noon meeting with a lawyer. 

How funny is that? 

Edit two days later: 


Well - I did have unexpected visitors as I headed out the door on Tuesday afternoon.  Good thing I cleaned the house! 

Maybe dreams are useful. 

((( hugs ))) 

S. 

Hugs, 

S. 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out