I had to drive the Hypnomobile up to the mountains.
She made it.
My family wanted to remember my uncle near a place he liked to fish.
My sister was supposed to drive my aunt to the venue. She didn't do it. My aunt calls me when I'm two hours outside of Denver to ask if I could get her. I could but we'd both be late.
Well, she decided to drive. She left 2 hours after I did and got there on time. She said that, at times, she had to drive at 100mph. It's hard to imagine my elderly aunt driving that fast.
She taught me how to drive. I drive like a little old lady!
That was surprising.
******
Now, when my uncle's wife was alive, I was persona non-grata. It's a role a play very well - I used to do it all the time in this gosh-forsaken city. When they ignored me, it was just a sign and a signal to do more CORA requests.
I avoided family events to keep the peace. It appears that I wasn't the only person to do that.
Now that my uncle's wife is gone, I am welcome back in to the family.
I managed to hold it together pretty well.
I didn't cry at the funeral. My cousins wanted me to be with them because I was part of the family as their dad had raised me, too.
I didn't cry when the minister gave the eulogy and spoke about how my uncle took me in after my parents died.
I didn't cry when I realized that narcissistic baloney cost my uncle and I thirty-three years. Life is too darn short to miss people we care about. I got to spend some time with him last spring but due to Covid he wouldn't let anyone get close to him.
I didn't cry when they spoke about the losses our family endured this year.
I didn't cry when I was told my uncle asked if there was any chance he would leave the hospital alive on the day he died. I was informed the doctor said that there was nothing they could do. (grrr......got some research to do as to why he wasn't told the condition had a 48% survival rate for someone his age).
I didn't cry when my sister said that her boyfriend forced her to see a shrink because she blamed me for everything going on in her life. She apologized and said that she knew it was due to my parents ragging on me for "being perfect."
I wish I were perfect.
I didn't cry when she explained that my ex-husband did some weird stuff to her. I'm not exactly clear on what happened but my deceased aunt and uncle told her not to bother me with it. She began by referring to him as my husband, numerous relatives jumped in to remind her that we'd been divorced seven years so there is no point in bringing it up now.
She alluded to him stalking her and said she had proof. I'm struggling with that. Then she asked if he threatened to stalk other people. I told her yes. She started naming names. I didn't cry. I just told her that I avoid the people he claimed to stalk for their own safety.
I didn't cry when my sister wanted to attack me with botox to fill in my smirk wrinkle. I earned that flippin' thing. I'm keeping it! She's a cosmetologist.
I didn't cry when my nephew recounted the horrible pink bathroom in my home and asked if I still lived there. He hasn't been here since 2002. He was a child the last time he was here.
I didn't cry when a homeless guy made me a cup of tea. I only wish I had more money to give him a better tip!
I didn't cry when I smacked my head into a steel bar holding up a swingset from my childhood that my grandfather made. I still have the headache, though. It was nice knowing that my cousins kept it.
I didn't cry at the pictures. I didn't cry at the kids who said that they never spent time with their grandfather (my uncle) because of family conflict. That's a shame.
I didn't cry when I met the child named after my grandfather (he has a stunning likeness, too).
I didn't even cry when I noticed that my eyes are BROWN (not green).....I haven't seen that for awhile.
The sad and bad things didn't bring the tears.
Do you want to know what made me cry?
It was a man driving a white truck on the highway. I was having a hard time getting into the right lane. Could have been the headache....or the speeding traffic....or that my car was acting weird.
This man gets behind me and basically moves into the right lane and waves me in front of him. Then he goes back to the left lane to continue driving. .
I lost it.
I've not seen such kindness on a Colorado highway in recent years. He got a prayer today. I hope his biggest wish comes true, too.
The day got better.
I pulled off to get my car looked at and had the oil changed. They put air in the tires, cleaned the windshield, got new wiper-blades and the car rides so much better. My tires are fine they were just low on fluid air (did I just type fluid - maybe that smack to the noggin' left me with drain bamage?)
I learned that my car is burning oil near the gaskets. I'll have to decide if I want to keep her and replace the engine. Once they changed the oil, she drove a lot better. They said it won't be a problem for awhile so long as I keep checking the oil.
My computer hard drive is dying. No, I haven't taken it into Microcenter yet.
I had one that died shortly after buying it in 2017. It became unplugged during an update. I know I've tried to turn it on several times but gave up and bought a new computer. I swear that I tried to turn it on last week and it didn't work. I charged it, turned it on and only saw the blue screen of death.
Well - I thought I'd take that computer to Microcenter first, try to fix it and then take this one in. This one is bleating like goat. I hit Microcenter on the way home.
I go up the counter.
The guy turns it on.
Viola - It's working perfectly!
That was embarrassing.
Then he sold me a 256gb flash drive to store my audio files on for $19.99. That WAS exciting.
It's almost midnight.
I just got home.
I feel like I've been everywhere today.
Guess what is in my living room!!
It is a huge box from Musician's Friend!!!
I'm going to go now and see what Tom looks like.
Maybe I'll post a picture. I had someone ask me to get a selfie to post on a patriot site.
Maybe I'll pose with the guitar.
I don't know.
My uncle used to tell me that I could play anything. He said I sang well but just didn't take singing seriously enough.
Maybe I should try getting singing lessons again. I think they wanted me to sing Amazing Grace today. I didn't do that.
The one thing a musician knows is that there are many more talented people in the world. In comparison to most people I know, I sound like a dying toad when I sing.
On that note, I have to buy my niece accessories for her bass guitar (must run in the family). I've got to make up for Christmas.
I need to find an Amazon wish-lists for her twin brothers. I'd better get crackin'. Even though their mother never spoke to me, I always managed to have gifts find their way to them via my aunt (the one who died in March).
I've been asked to take over the tradition of hosting the holidays. I might do that. I used to like hosting parties.
It would give me the opportunity to clean out the clutter, too.
There is just far too much to process today.
There is too much to think about.
My head still hurts from smacking it into the steel post. My eyes are wiggin' out.
I wish I could be more entertaining.
I can't.
It was a very spiritual day for me but I can't write about that without betraying myself.
Maybe I'll come back to beautify this post when my head clears up a bit.
May you have beautiful synchronistic moments even on your worst days.
May you live every day of your life.
Love ya,
S.
Next Day Edit: I had to send the guitar back. It turned out to be a damaged guitar that was returned to Guitar Center - the customer service rep at Musician's Friend said that they were out of stock so they had Guitar Center send one of theirs out to me. Covid has shut most of the manufacturers down.
When I opened the box, I saw that one side of the pick-up was attached with double sided tape and the other side was not attached. The box had been torn open and had another person's name on it.
I've been eyeing a Martin that costs thrice as much but is well worth it. I may have to wait until the COVID crap is over before venturing out to grab one. If I'm going to be certified in Music Therapy, I need to learn to play an acoustic well. This goal is probably going to have to wait.
Even with the counterfeit guitars on the market, I think I'll do better at a pawn shop than Musician's Friend right now. I even come across fake guitars on Amazon once in a while.
Never had a problem at Sweetwater.....but am beginning to realize that the supply chain is destroyed right now due to the overreaction of the government to a virus.
It's touching every aspect of our lives.
Sigh....
.