"The first rule is that one must accept the fact that, unsavory as it
is, some people simply have no conscience and that these people tend to
be very "everyday." Secondly, it is important to learn to use your own
judgment about people instead of relying on roles and labels to inform
you about a person's moral character. The third rule is to practice the
Rule of Threes when considering a new relationship in your life. Three
lies, and assume that you are hooking up with a liar.
The fourth rule is to question authority. The fifth rule is to suspect
flattery. The sixth rule says that, if necessary, you should redefine
your concept of respect. The seventh rule is, simply, don't join the
game. And related to this, the eighth rule is to avoid the sociopath
altogether. Rule nine is to question your tendency to pity too easily.
Number ten: do not try to redeem the sociopath. Also, number 11, never
agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociopath conceal
his or her true character from other people. Rule number 12 is do not
allow someone without a conscience to convince you that humanity is a
failure. And rule number 13 is an old saw, but true nonetheless: living
well is the best revenge."
- Martha Stout's 13 rules for living in a world that contains sociopaths
Today I am thankful for the therapeutic value of hiking.
Now, as far as treating snake bites. I had to Google it. It appears that experts are no longer telling people to suck the poison out. I rather like this video. It has great suggestions in it. . From now on, I'm sticking a Sharpie in my first aid kit.
- Martha Stout's 13 rules for living in a world that contains sociopaths
Today I am thankful for the therapeutic value of hiking.
I saw my therapist today.
We spent an hour talking about hiking. We talked about how to be aware of danger. Yes, I had mentioned to her earlier that other people had to point Shannon and Doug out to me during stalking incidents.
I learned strategies for being more self-aware. I was lectured on everything from locking my car door in the parking lot, to knowing the exits and always keeping my phone charged.
The thing that is sticking with me is the conversation surrounding first aid.
Do I carry a first aid kit?
Yes.
Do I know how to handle a snake bite?
Do I know how to handle a snake bite?
Well....no....I don't.
She told me the old school treatment for snake bites.
Let the snake run off into the woods and take care of yourself.
Suck the poison out. Get to a medical provider.
Stay away from the snake.
Oh...I know...she was talking about Michael and Steve. I need to stay away from snakes.
Truth be told, if someone's sister is stalking you and the man would prefer to threaten to divorce you over finding a solution, he is part of the problem.
As far as Steve, if someone is running around the internet lying about you in an effort to harm your reputation, it's probably a good thing to let the snake go.
To be quite blunt, Steve was acting like a sociopath by running around trying to defame, slander and threaten me in a bid to control me. Does it really doesn't matter why he does it? Nope....that only matters if he is in therapy and making progress. The BPD label does not excuse him from the responsibility of his actions.
Biting others is the nature of snakes. It doesn't matter why the snake lashes out. It doesn't matter if the snake is scared. It doesn't matter if the snake has learned faulty coping mechanisms. If it strikes, it is not fit for a relationship with a human.
I have to get over my guilt for letting go of these two.
I've got to stop falling for the "Borderlines deserve love, too" line. Yeah...you deserve love...at a distance until you get professional help.
The same is true of anyone who tries to control another, they have to go. The therapist nixed my ideas about marital counseling. She is unsure if I can handle learning that my ex put his sister up to following me. I think I am the only person in the world wanting to believe Michael's story that he had nothing to do with it. I am having a hard time believing him.
So....there I am.
I am realizing that I have to stop being one of these.
She told me the old school treatment for snake bites.
Let the snake run off into the woods and take care of yourself.
Suck the poison out. Get to a medical provider.
Stay away from the snake.
Oh...I know...she was talking about Michael and Steve. I need to stay away from snakes.
Truth be told, if someone's sister is stalking you and the man would prefer to threaten to divorce you over finding a solution, he is part of the problem.
As far as Steve, if someone is running around the internet lying about you in an effort to harm your reputation, it's probably a good thing to let the snake go.
To be quite blunt, Steve was acting like a sociopath by running around trying to defame, slander and threaten me in a bid to control me. Does it really doesn't matter why he does it? Nope....that only matters if he is in therapy and making progress. The BPD label does not excuse him from the responsibility of his actions.
Biting others is the nature of snakes. It doesn't matter why the snake lashes out. It doesn't matter if the snake is scared. It doesn't matter if the snake has learned faulty coping mechanisms. If it strikes, it is not fit for a relationship with a human.
I have to get over my guilt for letting go of these two.
I've got to stop falling for the "Borderlines deserve love, too" line. Yeah...you deserve love...at a distance until you get professional help.
The same is true of anyone who tries to control another, they have to go. The therapist nixed my ideas about marital counseling. She is unsure if I can handle learning that my ex put his sister up to following me. I think I am the only person in the world wanting to believe Michael's story that he had nothing to do with it. I am having a hard time believing him.
So....there I am.
I am realizing that I have to stop being one of these.
Now, as far as treating snake bites. I had to Google it. It appears that experts are no longer telling people to suck the poison out. I rather like this video. It has great suggestions in it. . From now on, I'm sticking a Sharpie in my first aid kit.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. I should say that my therapist is of the opinion that personality disorders are not mental health issues. This opinion is probably shared by insurance companies who refuse to pay for treatment.
Personality disorders are curable IF the subject wants to change and learn new modes of behavior. The problem IS that they developed the behavior because it gets them what they want. In the case of Cluster Bs (people who are narcissistic, histrionic, borderline and anti-social), they learn that being manipulative is advantageious. They have little incentive to change. This is why they are considered fixed. Now....people with borderline personality disorder have empathy (it's just hidden beneath deep psychic pain), they can change...with help. This is why BPD is considered to be treatable (if not curable).
I should also reitereate that the term "sociopath" is not a mental health diagnosis. It is NOT a medical issue. It is not something that one can be hospitalized for. Sociopaths are more of an issue for the criminal justice system than the mental health system.
Steve would send me countless text messages calling me a sociopath and threatening to have me hospitalized like he did his ex-wives. It cannot and simply will not be done. Insurance companies will not pay to hospitalize a sociopath. For that reason, there is simply no profit motive for a mental hospital to take such a patient. Steve would need to come up with a better lie to pull such a thing on me. And, no...he couldn't have had me branded as paranoid due to the stalking. Shannon harassed quite a few of my therapist friends and psychology professors. Michael stalked me outside of graduate alcohol counseling classes (headed by psychiatrists). I had many mental health professionals help me document what was going on.
Steve was just trying to get control of me. It failed.
As of this writing, the correct diagnosis for "sociopathy" is Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). This is quite controversial because many therapists believe that other Cluster Bs exhibit sociopathology. As of right now, the term ASPD is the clinical term. To get that diagnosis, one would have to meet certain criteria, including trouble with law enforcement. I don't meet it - Steve does.
What is the difference between an Anti-social and a Borderline? Intent....Borderlines fear abandonment and lash out when they think they are losing control of a relationship. Anti-socials don't act like the rules apply to them.
That said - one can be both Anti-social and Borderline.
REMEMBER TO STAY AWAY FROM SNAKES!
S.
P.S. I should say that my therapist is of the opinion that personality disorders are not mental health issues. This opinion is probably shared by insurance companies who refuse to pay for treatment.
Personality disorders are curable IF the subject wants to change and learn new modes of behavior. The problem IS that they developed the behavior because it gets them what they want. In the case of Cluster Bs (people who are narcissistic, histrionic, borderline and anti-social), they learn that being manipulative is advantageious. They have little incentive to change. This is why they are considered fixed. Now....people with borderline personality disorder have empathy (it's just hidden beneath deep psychic pain), they can change...with help. This is why BPD is considered to be treatable (if not curable).
I should also reitereate that the term "sociopath" is not a mental health diagnosis. It is NOT a medical issue. It is not something that one can be hospitalized for. Sociopaths are more of an issue for the criminal justice system than the mental health system.
Steve would send me countless text messages calling me a sociopath and threatening to have me hospitalized like he did his ex-wives. It cannot and simply will not be done. Insurance companies will not pay to hospitalize a sociopath. For that reason, there is simply no profit motive for a mental hospital to take such a patient. Steve would need to come up with a better lie to pull such a thing on me. And, no...he couldn't have had me branded as paranoid due to the stalking. Shannon harassed quite a few of my therapist friends and psychology professors. Michael stalked me outside of graduate alcohol counseling classes (headed by psychiatrists). I had many mental health professionals help me document what was going on.
Steve was just trying to get control of me. It failed.
As of this writing, the correct diagnosis for "sociopathy" is Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). This is quite controversial because many therapists believe that other Cluster Bs exhibit sociopathology. As of right now, the term ASPD is the clinical term. To get that diagnosis, one would have to meet certain criteria, including trouble with law enforcement. I don't meet it - Steve does.
What is the difference between an Anti-social and a Borderline? Intent....Borderlines fear abandonment and lash out when they think they are losing control of a relationship. Anti-socials don't act like the rules apply to them.
That said - one can be both Anti-social and Borderline.
REMEMBER TO STAY AWAY FROM SNAKES!