Skip to main content

Self-Censorship

Today, I am grateful for self-censorship.
 
 
 
I was a bad girl today. 
 
Some guy was screaming in my face after I learned he stole several thousands of dollars from me.  He got a little too close and I smacked him out of fear.  I gave him a black eye.  Well, it wasn't a black eye.  My enchanted ring bruised his eyelid. 
 
He is stalking me and he is hinting at harassing two men I know.  One is an ex.  One is a friend.  I'm terrified of this guy. 
 
I never want to see him again.  He wants me to be his partner.  I want a restraining order.
 
I feel incredibly guilty for smacking him.  So, I've decided to curb my sharp tongue and my anger.  I'm going to censor myself. 
 
 
So, I'm kinda sad about my self-censorship but in retrospect I think it is going to help me get a good night's sleep. 
 
There is this cutie I know on Facebook.  He eschews alcohol.  So, when I posted the following picture, he thought it was a slam. 
 
 
I told him it was not a bad thing.  Many of my friends are wine tasters.  I am not a wine taster because I like to swallow. 
 
I deleted the comment after I realized it was an invitation. 
 
I can't be near men until my stalker gets arrested. 
 
I can't be alone with men until I find out why I hit someone bellowing in my face and minimizing how his stalking is hurting me.  It's not funny and it's going to get someone killed. 
 
Why can't he or his proxies stalk my prostitute sister?  Huh?  Why can't they look down the barrel of her pimp's rifle?
 
Maybe I need to go hang out near a less savory crowd.  That'll stop it in a hurry. 
 
I could start volunteering at the local prison.  Maybe that would do the trick.  Would they stalk me there? 
 
I feel like human garbage for hitting someone who hits the walls, my tables and bellows at me for hours on end. 
 
There is no excuse. 
 
If the cops can't help me, maybe a lawyer can.  Hanging with a lawyer is probably as unsavory as it gets.   
 
Love ya,
 
S. 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S.  P.S. There will be a new website. 

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...