Gentlemen Friends

Today I am thankful for gentlemen friends.

I've been avoiding one on and off for a little over eighteen months. I don't want to say too much about it but he has taught me quite a bit about myself.

I do not answer my phone fast enough.
I can do anything, even give boring impromptu public speeches, with the support of my friends.
Riding along in my car is an adventure.
If I don't leave an hour before an event, I will always be late.
The breath mints stored in my purse taste like perfume.
I need to work on my driving anxiety.
There is one poor soul in the world who will walk a mile to make sure I didn't get run over by a train because I tripped over my heels stepping onto a track.
There is one sweet soul who will walk me through a crowd of zombie Obama devotees while guarding my back when talking to Romney henchmen.

It's a cute friendship.

There is nothing going on between us.

But still...he's so nice and so open. He doesn't make fun of me. He doesn't freak out when I take a little bit too long in the ladies room. He doesn't make fun of me when I dress up like a clown and he didn't say a word when the relaxer I put in my hair turned it a horrific bright orange.

He didn't laugh or yell at me when I said that all I really wanted was a job and my independence.

When I get excited about something and talk a little too fast, he'll repeat back what he heard and make me laugh. Either I'm incoherent or he's going deaf...... but either way..... it is really funny.

Maybe.....

I don't have to live in a celibate marriage anymore.

I'm thinking about repacking my bags and looking for an apartment and a lawyer.

I'm not sure he's the one but if that is what most men are like....

maybe it's time to move on.

Hope.....kindness always brings one hope.

I'm thankful to have such kind friends in my life. Even if for a moment, the lessons they give last a lifetime.

Love,

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004. We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out

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