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Halloween




Today I am thankful for Halloween. 


It is the one day where I can admit to being a witch without having Republicans want to hang me. 

The dems just call me a bitch or a teabagger. 

The Libertarians know the truth.  I think some guy ran around telling everyone my secret.  He was talking about a Masonic ritual and didn't understand the magick behind it. 

When I explained the meaning of the four directions, the bells, and the lunar and sun cycle he guessed that I was a witch. 

So, when people talk about running around nude, all eyes inadvertently end up on me.

This often happens during lunch.

I don't order food anymore.

I never thought of myself as a witch. 

I'm more of an enchantress. 

My ex calls me a snake charmer. 

His snake is always slithering about....anyone can charm the pants of that man. 

I'm nothing special.

A witch? 

I don't know....

You know, I haven't cast a spell in a very long time. 

They take a lot of energy. 

I am actually trying to break a few that I cast back in 2002.  I had a dream that I would marry a guy I didn't know.  I cast spells to keep him away.  I drove to the countryside, in the dark, and buried little black candles.  I have no idea where they are.  I can't break the spells if I tried. 

Then during the winter solstice of '07 the goddess Diana gave me a dream of the man's eyes. 

I knew him in an instant. 

I lit a candle during the summer solstice of '08.   

His name showed up in the candle. 

I laughed. 

He showed up eight weeks later. 

He came back....thrice. 

Each time, I don't know what he wants.  He makes me swoon.  He calls me pretty.  He knows when I'm in pain.  He is the only person on the planet that knows when I'm about to cry.  He started to tell me about a broken bone in his leg and he knew I was about to cry. 

He said he'd stop upsetting me. 

I could cry so hard that my eyeliner falls off and no one else notices.  This guy can sense the moment my lips start to quiver. 

It's not something I'm accustomed to. 

He was also the first person to acknowledge that I was planning on leaving my husband.  No one knew.  He guessed  and told me to let him know what happens with "that guy."  Everyone else thinks I'm happy. 

He sees through me. 

It's weird. 

Here is the deal. 

I'm not right for him. 

The dream had to be a farce....unless I end up being the last woman on the flippin' planet or he loses his mind or I get hit by some magick spell that actually makes me nice, kind, wealthy, devoid of cellulite and a pretty darn good cook. 

I don't see myself ruining this man's life like that. 

Marriage....no. 

Unconditional love....that I can see. 

But getting hitched? 

Why would I tie a beautiful spirit down like that? 

Shudder....

I don't understand what the Goddess was trying to tell me. 

I remember....sometime in 2007, I fell asleep crying because my husband was being a jerk.  I had a dream of a radiant Goddess who told me that there is one man on the planet who has loved me since he first laid eyes upon me.  She said that he will always love me unconditionally as I love him.

I love to see him happy.  I pray for his happiness every night.  I pray he finds his wife (the marrying kind) and I pray she can love him more than me.  I also hope she's kind-hearted, loyal, faithful, and a heck of a cook.

I will always love him so much so that I only want what is best for him. 

Yep, I want the best for him. 

I'm not it. 

The beautiful Goddess is all seeing and all knowing.  She and he both know the heck I've put that poor soul through. 

When he was seventeen, he kissed my nose and I did something so horrid,

so disgusting,

that I'm surprised he doesn't throw up when he sees me. 

I sneezed....into his...

yep...you guessed it. 

Oh, that poor man. 

This is why I haven't kissed a man in six years.  It's karma coming home to roost. 

That poor, poor man.  His first experience with love....a deep beautiful experience of love was ruined with one slimy booger moment. 

He isn't going to marry me. 

On the bright side, I have since discovered allergy medication. 

That poor, poor man. 

I've thought about casting a spell to manifest money.  I don't know.  My magical powers have a horrible sense of humor.   How could it backfire? 

The last spell I cast was to reveal the mayor's secrets.  He was being a grade A idiot towards me.  Then, his term was up.  You don't want to know the heck I had to go through to break that flippin' spell. 

It is comical. 

And I still know things about the new mayor that I don't want to know.  It's gossip.  Gossip is never true.  So....delete...delete...delete....throw up...delete..delete.

I'd prefer not to cast spells. 

I used to have a little witch garden.  There was rosemary by the front door, to de-masculate an abusive idiot.  I had various herbs.  My favorite was yarrow.  They said that if you hung it on your marital bed, your marriage would last seven years.

What they didn't tell me that it would work even if you both hated each other and were too poor to afford the lawyer. 

Then my daughter's boyfriend wanted me to make him a soup his mommy made for her guests.  It was a lust potion.  I did not make the bitter flavored damaina, rose hip, catnip, and what-not soup.  It had more ingredients in it than love potion #9 (so named because it contains nine aphrodisiac herbs). 

I asked him if his mother was a Bruja.  Sure thing, she's into black magick. 

No wonder she's so prolific.  If I were a man not wanting to pay child support, I'd avoid eating soup or salad at her house.  Go for the steak. 

This kid is really mean to his mother. 

He is twenty-two and has severe back problems. 

Always be nice to your mother.

Witch or not. 

Happy Halloween,

S.




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